Monogamy, to be or not to be, a woman's role within
Hello boys, you may like this discussion. I have always wondered why it is the woman who mainly screams "he cheated on me" and expects sympathy, we are not beyond our own little dalliances.
Human beings have never been nor will ever be MONOGAMAS, it is an denial of species, since man first walked upon this Earth unknowingly we have indulged in species selection, "gene selection", the male looking for the traits of strength, ease of of birth, maternal instinct and more, the female looking for a good provider, strength in her protector for her and her children and yes more.
Monogomy came about as another control mechanism by the roman christian church to control women and degrade their place within society, prior to this families were based upon the ability of the male to protect and keep the family together, if he failed in this the result was not entirely different to what we see today in nature, survival of the fittest and the forfeit of goods and chattels by the loser, and yes women were chattels.
There were many changes as humanity advanced but the fact that women were treated as chattels remained until quite resent history and in some places still does.
Today we have advanced and consider ourselves an enlightened society yet still we refuse to except our self for what we are and are not and as a species we are not monogamous, polyamorous I believe would work better.
Polyamorous now there's a word, the knowledge of both partners sexual involvement with others and done consensually, done with knowledge that having brought children into the world together a responsibility exists with both and in this world today the sexual health of partners.
A friend of mine reminded me recently that she looked for the ALFA male type in males she showed an interest in, this to me demonstrates that for all our advances the older methods of partner selection still remain, only changed now are how we define, i.e "big penis, muscles, hairy chest and money", attraction yes permanent attraction I think not, the female selection criteria has changed also but still with the old standards still in mind, "big breasts, thin, shapely figure" again all denoting a child baring ability and a nurturing ability.
Monogamy is flawed, in mammals in nature although it exists it is indeed rare and expecting human beings to behave against there nature is a recipe for heartbreak, as witnessed by the ever increasing breakdown of the monogamous relationship, "Marriage".
We are better than just another mammal and for that reason we should recognize a failure and try to find a better way and make the happiness of all a priority rather than continue the heartbreak and sorrow monogamy is causing when it breaks down.
To all BLESSED BE
Human beings have never been nor will ever be MONOGAMAS, it is an denial of species, since man first walked upon this Earth unknowingly we have indulged in species selection, "gene selection", the male looking for the traits of strength, ease of of birth, maternal instinct and more, the female looking for a good provider, strength in her protector for her and her children and yes more.
Monogomy came about as another control mechanism by the roman christian church to control women and degrade their place within society, prior to this families were based upon the ability of the male to protect and keep the family together, if he failed in this the result was not entirely different to what we see today in nature, survival of the fittest and the forfeit of goods and chattels by the loser, and yes women were chattels.
There were many changes as humanity advanced but the fact that women were treated as chattels remained until quite resent history and in some places still does.
Today we have advanced and consider ourselves an enlightened society yet still we refuse to except our self for what we are and are not and as a species we are not monogamous, polyamorous I believe would work better.
Polyamorous now there's a word, the knowledge of both partners sexual involvement with others and done consensually, done with knowledge that having brought children into the world together a responsibility exists with both and in this world today the sexual health of partners.
A friend of mine reminded me recently that she looked for the ALFA male type in males she showed an interest in, this to me demonstrates that for all our advances the older methods of partner selection still remain, only changed now are how we define, i.e "big penis, muscles, hairy chest and money", attraction yes permanent attraction I think not, the female selection criteria has changed also but still with the old standards still in mind, "big breasts, thin, shapely figure" again all denoting a child baring ability and a nurturing ability.
Monogamy is flawed, in mammals in nature although it exists it is indeed rare and expecting human beings to behave against there nature is a recipe for heartbreak, as witnessed by the ever increasing breakdown of the monogamous relationship, "Marriage".
We are better than just another mammal and for that reason we should recognize a failure and try to find a better way and make the happiness of all a priority rather than continue the heartbreak and sorrow monogamy is causing when it breaks down.
To all BLESSED BE
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by SIN on -
Determinism is determinism - and it's all physiological (whether that be physical, mental or emotional). Even a manifestation of any sort, manifested by the human mind - is physiological and always under influence.
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Permalink Reply by Capricorn on -
Do we really choose who we are attracted to?
No we dont. But we do choose who we fuck.
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Permalink Reply by SIN on
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*lol* but isn't our choice influenced? Don't we form 'preferences' based on stimuli and past experiences? How is that 'free will'? It's influenced will, therefore limited will.
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Permalink Reply by Capricorn on
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Indeed. Whats a witch or any person without personal will. Tis a choice.
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Permalink Reply by ONYX on -
Well I for one have been polyamourus for quite a while at least 15 years if not more. I have told every women i have been involved with this up front. And let her make up her mind after she asks all the questions she has. And let her or them know I LOVE my S.O. and there is no way i am going to leave her or change who I am. And then we either continue to talk and discuss things or they call it an early evening. LOL But no matter what i am honest and up front.
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Permalink Reply by ONYX on
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Most definitely she knows and can say no to anyone and has even suggested a few and i have for her as well.
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Permalink Reply by Celticwitch on -
I am I for one woman thank you for your honesty
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Permalink Reply by Lea on -
I am 43 years old, have been with my husband since I was 19 years old. We dated and lived together for 7 years and have been married for 17 years. I don't think people just are monogomas, it is simply a choice.
There have been men over the years I've been attracted to as well as women for him but we decided that once children were involved we would tell each other everything in that area of our lives and if either of us ever felt the desire to stray we would talk about it first. And it has worked for us. There have been times when one of the other of us said, yea, I'm thinking about it, and we would sit together and have a discussion about why. What could be amiss in our own relationship that would cause such a desire? We would figure it out and deal with it.
For us, it is about our kids, we have divorced friends whose children suffer miserably because one of the other cheated and divorce was the only option they gave themselves. I believe that if it ever happens it doesn't have to mean heartbreak, it means that one of us was not being what we should have to the other. It also means that forgiving is the only option for us. I would hate an emotional relationship between my husband and another woman more than a sexual one. Sex can just be sex but an emotional relationship, discussing hopes, dreams, wants and desires without acting on them would be more hurtful I think.
Monogamy is a choice like most things in life. Of course my husband and I could go and do what or whomever we wanted but what kind of parents would we be, what kind of life would we provide and what would we be teaching our children. We made a promise to each other and we will keep it whether it ever happens or not. Choice is the most important thing anyone can do.
And alpha male or not, women have been manipulating men for centuries whether they like to believe it or not. That is just the way of things.
Blessings.
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Permalink Reply by Laira on -
Blessings, Lea! I too was married at 19 and have been monogamous for our entire relationship (we will have been married 20 years in June). I don't think it would be the end of the world to be with another for a night or something, but it would break his heart and that heart is the heart of my best and dearest friend in the world.
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Permalink Reply by Lea on
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Very true, it works both ways. I used my strength of persuasion to convince my husband to talk about things. It definitely never has come naturally to him raised in a baptist household where sex was never mentioned, I have never to this day after 24 years seen his parents touch each other in any way, not even hold hands. On the other hand, in my house as a child on sunday mornings my parents door was locked and we knew exactly what was going on in there. And my father liked to use his fists, a lot on all of us when we were young. I've traveled the gammit in my life and dealt with a lot. My husband even hit me once, well, I hit him first. But working things out is also a choice. It all comes back to choice, we all have them, it's what we do with them that matters. And men know the ways women manipulate as well as we know too. That is the way of things as well. Blessings.
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