Pagans Behaving Badly…
Hello everyone,
I decided start a discussion about Pagan’s behaving badly because in the past few months I have experience more than my share of immature and rude behavior from many Pagan’s in our local community.
Much of this behavior is minor (thank the Gods) and has only caused irritation and has damaged relationships. The behavior includes posting personal info on public blogs, bashing one another because things did not go a certain way for a certain person, gossip, bashing the personal beliefs of another, and so MUCH MORE!
I am glad that there have not been any serious gashes in the social fiber (besides the damaged relationships)… at least not yet, but it seems to be getting worse or at least more frequent.
We are the champions of our own spiritual path, should we not be striving to make it as well tread as possible? I know that the ideal of “No Rules and do as you please” attracts many of the less than socially acceptable people. However, I don’t see this as an excuse to behave immorally and immaturely.
I too am solitary, but I also feel there is a need to come together so we can be a strong thriving community built on compassion and understanding. I know plenty of solitaries out there who remain solitary because our community as a whole is lacking compassion and understanding, especially when the “$hit hits the fan”!
What are your experiences? How do we let these ill-behaved people know that doing whatever they want, to whom ever they want, whenever they want is not something a grown adults should do?
How do we help them become more compassionate in contrast to the selfishness they openly display?
I decided start a discussion about Pagan’s behaving badly because in the past few months I have experience more than my share of immature and rude behavior from many Pagan’s in our local community.
Much of this behavior is minor (thank the Gods) and has only caused irritation and has damaged relationships. The behavior includes posting personal info on public blogs, bashing one another because things did not go a certain way for a certain person, gossip, bashing the personal beliefs of another, and so MUCH MORE!
I am glad that there have not been any serious gashes in the social fiber (besides the damaged relationships)… at least not yet, but it seems to be getting worse or at least more frequent.
We are the champions of our own spiritual path, should we not be striving to make it as well tread as possible? I know that the ideal of “No Rules and do as you please” attracts many of the less than socially acceptable people. However, I don’t see this as an excuse to behave immorally and immaturely.
I too am solitary, but I also feel there is a need to come together so we can be a strong thriving community built on compassion and understanding. I know plenty of solitaries out there who remain solitary because our community as a whole is lacking compassion and understanding, especially when the “$hit hits the fan”!
What are your experiences? How do we let these ill-behaved people know that doing whatever they want, to whom ever they want, whenever they want is not something a grown adults should do?
How do we help them become more compassionate in contrast to the selfishness they openly display?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Last Knight on -
I was once a member of a coven that seemed fine on the outside, but the closer I got to the inner circle, the more I realized that there was a lot more going on than I thought. The priests and priestesses were all inner-married, a very strange family setup, with a great deal of infighting and whatnot. The real horror was what was done with the children. The Mother-priestess had three children, one of which was being nursed by her mother, the Crone priestess. All three children were more or less ignored, but the oldest was a really pleasent little girl that everyone liked. She was molested by her next-door neighbor and the Crone washed her and no one called the cops. That was when I left them. I couldn't handle that any more. As far as I'm concerned, they are all dead. I don't think they can learn to be more human. None of this was ever openly displayed, but it's a horror that I will keep with me my whole life.
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Permalink Reply by Leandra Witchwood on -
Yes! Well said!
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Permalink Reply by Leandra Witchwood on
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Oh My that is horrible!!!
I have a 7 year old (I think you know) and I would flip out if that ever happened to her.
I too was involved with a Coven similar to your experience, except it was two married couples. They are all sick in the head and this is what scares me the most.
They exploit what little knowledge they have to younger/inexperienced people to get them into their coven. Then they try to convince these newbies that they know what they are doing. In the end they only end up hurting everyone because they are immature and deceptive.
I think it is extremely important that those of us who have experienced the ills of this path and the ill people within this path, come forth and educate those who have not.
Tough job right?
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Permalink Reply by Last Knight on
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I would definately have to hand-pick my coven, too. Especially as a novice, you have to be very careful about whom you pick to teach you, and unfortunately, it's impossible to know when you have no knowledge about the subject. Nasty Catch 22. That coven I spoke of earlier also used Domination and sexual deviancy in their training of new priests and priestesses. Now, I have no problem with a little deviant behavior, but training a new witch, whether you are training for priesthood or not, should not include that side of human behavior.
I have long struggled not to hold the rest of humanity to the high standards to which I hold myself. It's hard. I still can't manage to keep a high view of most people because they don't even come close. But yes, from such a young religion as neo-paganism and Wicca, we need to expect higher standards, better behavior, and greater responsibility.
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Permalink Reply by Angji on -
Geesh I could write a bok aboutthis fornow I make it sohrt wrte the resttommorow.
Got stabbed
got beat up
almost raped
leaders put dark magic on people
if you leave coven people called dhs....
geesh it was terrbile peopel only goingot get drunkand cheat on spouses
thank Gods someone else saw this and commented iwas about to....
I write the rest tommrow tired :)
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Permalink Reply by Nao Okami on -
The socially unaccepted find paganism appealing. A religion that doesn't care who or what you are. People who practice it are generally accepting of others. So they jump on board, and bring all their negative baggage with them. There are a lot of problems in the U.S. when it comes to raising kids. There are kids in Elementary school who run around swearing when no adults are around. Some even do when adults are around, not really caring. Parents these days just don't seem to know how to be a good parent. Which is negatively affecting society. There are no more real punishments for kids in school anymore, and the parents can't control their own kids. So we have a generation that is more self destructive, lazy, incompetent, and rude. Sorry, I kind of like Sociology. It is something I am thinking about doing in college when I go in the fall.
^_^
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Permalink Reply by Angji on
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Lets see I tihnk the biggest worst enemy we have is when, turn on each other .....
Yes were diverse in our belief system but were also all in the same boat together.
You know divided we fall united we stand!
Alot People forget your what, we look like to other people. For example once when, I was in a group just decided to be in it or not The rituals were nice , the peopel seemed nice sober. Seem like they only got together toget drunk.... There neighbors always watching us.. I kept tihnknig they musttihkn pagans drink alot and sleep with each others husbands.... I realized this was not image i wanted otgive tothe world about my relgion and myself (not saying drinking isnt okay attimes) who want's to be known as a drunkard..... I want the world to know our world for Peace hope growth and positve changes in the owrld thats howi want the world to see my relgion and myself in a postive way... Not just as a drunken orgy and not be taken seriously not get the Human right our children and we is deserve....
I am not saying we should not have a good time but it seems were s there lots of alchol and drugs there trouble brewing some peopple get into pagansim forthe worung reasons..
Let's face t theres no schools were go ot train and anybody can mae a group up.... Sometimes sometiems tihs is good sometiems this is bad.....
I also once read a fablous article about tihs on witchvox and witch wars one of the best articles i have read to date so far....
Power + Sex+ Money= fIghting So true! so true!!!! In moderations its okay like when it get's out of control can be destructive....
Basically laot of people get in paganism for the wroung reasons plain and simple......
ALOT ALOTALOT of peopel get into Paganism for look I can have a bunch adoring worshippers they will do a what ever i say thing! I left a group like that recently were people worshipping this one couple woh she was so great but if she would say one thing to your face but then another behind your back...
She did that with alot of people so I just left.....
I can't count how many times I left a gorup beofre they started on each other!!!!!!
I do beleive osme it is personalitys lack of rela trully effective leadership............
Respect for its members learing conflict resolutions... I could go on forever on tihs subject.....
I feel really sad about it I allong i can only see the desrtuction fo what suppose ot be a beaiutful idea and community otturn to ashes if we don't get our act together and soon....
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Permalink Reply by SIN on -
Some would say I behave badly, I reject social norms. I refuse to abide by what is referred to as 'acceptable behavior' and I couldn't care less if people find my behavior unacceptable. It's subjective. I experience people acting like assholes all the time, while I find their behavior to be horrific, others seem to be fine with it.
I'm a Satanist. I have been this way my entire life, Satanists are born - not made. Some would say I'm not Pagan, I wear the label like any other - like a mink coat.
When I was in high school, I transferred in the middle of my 10th year. I was the 'new kid', a mystery and people were curious. I was always extremely popular, but it wasn't because I was part of the in-crowd, but because I was equally social with everyone. I earned the name 'Queen of the Retards' by my 11th year. I used to ride the bus with the special needs kids to a vocational school for computerized drafting. On that same bus, were the auto-shop guys. They picked on these kids relentlessly, and I seemed to be the only person concerned with it. I would verbally lash out at these horrible little trolls. One day, one of the kids threw a piece of bondo at a kid suffering from Downs-syndrome - while his friends cheered on. I had enough. I ran to the back of the bus and whaled on this kid, until we were pulled apart. I'll admit I lost my temper. I didn't stop there, I got my boyfriend (who had already graduated) to corner the kid, and whip the dog-shit out of him, plus stuff him in a locker. That kid needed to not only suffer the physical pain due to him for the months, if not years of torment of those children, he also needed to know humiliation. I sat with the kids from that point on, and also joined them for lunch. Although I was given the title 'Queen of the Retards' it earned me the respect of my peers, and that kid (the troll) kissed my ass for the rest of the year. Hell, he even grew a set and asked me on a date, which I declined.
Some would say my behavior is commendable, while others may find it less than enlightened and I resorted to vengeance. I don't care. I'm not concerned with how my behavior should be aligned, and enlightened as a Pagan.
How do we help them become more compassionate in contrast to the selfishness they openly display? Here we go with the taboo word, selfish again. There is nothing wrong with being selfish, its looking out for one's best interests. People are human animals, this is why they won't behave and be compassionate towards those they have no connection to. Loving one another is completely unnatural. Rather than teaching compassion, how about a little empathy?
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Permalink Reply by Angji on
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Sounds a bit like me .... I Sounds to me yur a bit familiar Maybe with Hecate????
As anybody can tell I have a writing diability....
Yes Teachers parents other people will start fights pick on you if they tihnk you don't fit in....
One day I use ot get picked on ruthlessly buy people everybody.......
One day i just had one to many pick ons. I went after that person with a vengendance... This super popular person tried ot push me into a bandsaw that was running... I turned around and scratched the ehll out of tihs persons face.. (years later met a more humbled person in a bar had the scar on there face stiill) I tore up there face i did recieve a few licks but hey... they deserved it..... Taught her but a lesson...... She learend becuase sometihng is small and suppoely helpelss doesnt mean it can't fight back and kill you :) Lookat virus and bacteria LOL
Lets jsut say she elft me alone after that....... She got into semi trouble....
The mother tried to get me on insult charge but I had ot many witness's to prove other wise when I proved other wise the Bitch ran! They laways doooo....
Most people find it ewasier ot unity there group through cruelty than through kindess !
Thats the main reason why most pagans so forth groups self destruct.......
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Permalink Reply by Lady Cullen on -
Sin, I totally get what you are saying. Having grown up being picked on, not just because I am a red head, but because I was born with my legs twisted nearly backwards from the knee down, and I was really intelligent. I know what those kids on that bus went through, and like you, I was the one defending them. Other's expectations were something I had to overcome, and start living life for me. Took me long enough, but I am now selfish when it comes to the needs I have, and those of my family.
As an empath, I share the compassion that is needed to exist in this world, helping others. I have always helped others, even when burned, because it is who I am. I work to the beat of my own drum, and have been slammed for it, but I would rather be the person helping when I can, than the one being vindictive. However, if someone is hurting or taunting someone who cannot defend themselves, you bet I will jump on in, and give aid to the weaker one. I hate bullies in any form, and what Angji has been through is one of the reasons I wll continue to fight. My son faces much of that as well, and I bring out my claws.
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Permalink Reply by Lady Cullen on
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One of the things I am truly selfish about, are my own talents and desires. I fulfill them when I can, and in the process, try to make myself a better person. Others don't like me, because of this, so what? The only people I answer to, are my own family. I learned quite a while ago that I cannot please all of the people all of the time, and I have to stay true to who I am, or risk losing my own identity. It is why I am solitary, only practicing with my family as a group, when we can.
Insecurities in others, those who are unwilling to accept differences in others, they are the ones with the problems, and only they can face them for themselves. Giving them a little push in the right direction, when needed, well, that is acceptable. I guess that makes me a bad guy at times, but I am unwilling to accept harming others intentionally, as a good thing.
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