I was snickering and smiling all the way through this. However, you know you do have an option for the hair—a wig!
A couple of months ago a Wiccan friend and I were sitting in a local coffee shop—we meet about once a week to just share some time together and do crafty things (as opposed to Crafty things). Anyway, our conversation was on Pagan subjects and we can get a little loud. There was a lady at the table behind us who we gradually realized was praying rather loudly, reciting bible verses and other things. Apparently we had, um, scared her! We were rather amused.
I wonder if this list can be adapted to use on my mother-in-law... lol
one year when thanksgiving was at my house I put up a picture of Victoria Frances vampire kiss up in my living room.
You're awesomeness is shining!
For a while, the Christian guy I work with lost interest. So I was feeling rather bored one day, so I decided to start reading the Satanic Bible online. Looks like I've recaptured his interest! lol So when I get time to goof off a bit, he's always checking out what I'm reading. He doesn't say anything, but I can tell he's disturbed. lol I tell myself I should be more mature and stop messing with him, but the looks he gives are just priceless!
I drive a school bus and the kids on my bus are already convinced that I'm outright wicked! The middle-schoolers I drive just think I'm a little weird. But on my elementary run... I'm sure they go home and tell their parents that I'm a witch every day! I'm very evil--I make them sit down and behave themselves or else... no blow-pop sucker or Friday! Bwahahahaha! (twists imaginary mustache)
I would like to add to your list... Try hanging up some shrunken heads or necklaces made of teeth. Start carrying around a mysterious bag of evil goodies... Make an effort to let her see you digging through it in a very secretive fashion. Or, use a box for this purpose. Go to your local pagan shop and buy one of those carved wooden boxes with a hinged lid with a pentagram on top. Put creepy stuff in it. Put it in a place where your coworker might be tempted to snoop in it. Place in the box a written spell on how to curse a nosey person.
Most pagans get uppity when urged to do a little mischief. So many of us think we're too good with the three-fold law and blah blah blah... But don't forget that there are two sides to every coin--light and dark. Pagans are people and we gotta have our fun now and then. So indulge in a little good old-fashioned witchy mischief!!
*hee hee hee* I particularly like the idea of hiding a written spell on cursing a nosy person. Of course there must be an added verse or two about those not welcome being "cursed" for reading about the forbidden.
Being a school bus driver would certainly qualify as a reason for developing your wicked side! :-D
The funny thing is, the kids think I'm evil... But I think the same thing about them... LOL
I really like the teeth necklace idea. It got me thinking of getting a necklace of skulls. That and whispering in "tongues", but saying it just loud enough for the coworker to hear it! lol Eventually he'll ask and I'll be all like, "Oh, I'm just saying prayers to my infernal god of death!" or some such nonsense! lol
Oh yeah and one more thing that will drive 'em nuts...
If there's a break room with a fridge at your POE, this will work. Take a clear drink bottle and label it with your name and put a date on it too, so as to imply that the contents are parishable. Mix the following and put it in the bottle: Corn syrup and red food coloring. If you mix it to the right consistancy, it will look like BLOOD! And believe me, it's the perfect recipe for fake blood--I got the recipe from someone who is an actor in an annual haunted house attraction in my home town.
Put it in the fridge for your holier-than-thou coworker to see... The thought of you actually drinking blood will make him/her faint... Since it's corn syrup, it'll be sweet, you COULD actually DRINK it--right in front of him/her!
And for an extra touch, act like you're talking on your phone to a friend who will be accompanying you for a Satanic ritual... Say stuff like: "Don't forget the towels for our blood orgy later.", "Next time, we should use a male goat--the female goat's blood just isn't hearty enough for me.", "We're not pleasing him enough. Our next sacrifice should be a doulbe... Go pick up TWO dogs from the shelter this time!" .
If you follow through with this, make sure you keep us updated!
I admit I've done things like this just to get to a few people that annoy me.