I am struggling BAD. I NEVER have a moment to myself. I know that there are several people with the same problem, and I really hate to complain about mine, but I need something. I am failing school because I am so exhausted all the time which intensifies my dyslexia and my already severe ADHD. My house is to the point of falling apart, but instead of telling me how to at least fix it for now, I get "I just wish this MF would burn itself down". I bring in suggestions which get either ignored or shot down. I have so much going on that I don't have time to try to figure it out on my own, and quite frankly I shouldn't have to. I go to work! I leave the house between 7-8 am and leave work in between 6-8pm. Then it is off to the grocery store to pick something up so that when I get home I can wash dishes and cook. Hopefully I am able to finish dinner in time for the children to go to bed on time. Then at about 9:30ish I get to sit down and attempt to concentrate on school. Of course I have children coming in and out telling me goodnight and of course the husband comes in wanting to talk about how hard of a day he had listening to the children argue, because he doesn't do anything but listen to it.
I have realized that I am constantly walking around with my shoulders tensed up to my earlobes, and I wring my hands. I do not think that I have ever been this tense. I used to have time to myself at work, but now I am training my replacement for if and when my husband actually gets called for that job that he is hired for.
I have not been able to set up any sacred area because as I stated before, never a moment to myself.
Really this is more of a rant to vent, but if anyone has any words of wisdom, I'm all ears.
This is probably more suited for a blog.
Go for a walk after work instead of going into the house.
Don't do the dishes, refuse and let the chips fall where they may.
Don't back down on either of these things.
Don't make a big deal out of the stand you've taken.
Don't discuss them.
In life often I've found that success is centered around making a choice not to do something. By saving energy for other things victory is achieved.
Don't tell yourself why it won't work.
Get where I'm going with this?
Stop and take a deep breath. Then if your husband is not working tell him that from here on out its up to him to start dinner and keep up with the house and laundry, plus being there for the children. But put blinders on if he doesn't do it like you would. As long as he does it.
Depending on your childrens ages give them some chores, that are age appropriate for them. It doesn't hurt for children to learn how to do things for themselves and for the family.
To many women are in your shoes today. Work, school, family and being pulled in every direction and it gets overwhelming.
I am ALL OVER giving the kids chores. My two will do them, and one of his but his youngest (which is only one year younger than mine) always finds someway to con either her father or the others into doing her work, and unfortunatly I am not home to control it. The youngest is nine. My ten year old has had the chore of cleaning the bathroom since he was five, but she can't even pick up her own room. Things will change.
I have tried to let it go, I really have. However, it seems as though they have more will power than I do. I even went so far as to leave town for three days after not cleaning for almose a week just to come home to three days worth of more filth. Which makes me even more tense :/
I have stopped doing laundry though...it's a start I guess lol.
Only the strong are given the heaviest loads to bear, however, I agree with some of the other comments, sometimes you just have to say NO and demand help. The household I live in has 4 adults, we each take on different responsibilities to keep things running smoothly..of course every now and then I have to go off on a rant to whip them back in shape!..I'm not afraid to ask for help if I am overburdened, even at the expense of making me look like a bitch...another word of caution is to understand that all of your stress may lead to health issues, talking about it is a good beginning.
Very cool Sonic
This is right on...is it bad though, that the one thing that I noticed first in each of these is that I'm alone?
I know how you feel, only I'm the stay-at-home parent. My husband works ridiculous hours, we have two children on the autism spectrum, I'm chained to the house and we haven't had a vacation since 2006. Believe me, I understand, and I am sorry.
As the stay-home parent, your hubby really should be the one making dinner, washing dishes and taking care of the other things at home. He's there. If you were home he'd expect you to do it. I can't tell you what to do, but I can suggest that the two of you talk this out and you let him know you're walking on the thin edge here. He's going to be the one working soon, so try to look forward to that and relax. Plan the things you'll do to take care of yourself, including setting up your altar. Above all, give yourself a little bit of a break NOW so you don't lose your mind. Go to your room, close the door and read, pray or have some private time online. I wait until after everyone goes to bed and dive into a book, movie or video game and it really helps. You need to recharge. You have to have some time set aside to do something that's just for you. Even if it's only a few minutes in the bathtub or listening to music.
I don't understand why he doesn't take care of those things while you're at work. I do them every day. If I can do it, he can too.
There is just too much on you right now. Take a break and let some things go. The dishes don't have to be washed every night, the laundry can go for a couple of days and if hubby has his own vehicle he can take the kids and do the shopping. Letting things go for a couple of days isn't going to destroy your home.
Please take a break!
I'm here if you need to talk or vent - message me!
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