[I refer to myself as Astarte in the following monologue because I was using the name Astarte on Pagan Space at the time I wrote it.]
My answer to the question above is quite simply No, I do not intend by any means to go to heaven. Sometimes well-intentioned, Godly people ask me if I know where I will be after I die, and I tell them that I do know, for I will certainly go to hell. In the Biblical Book of Jeremiah Astarte is called the "Queen of Heaven", but we can all surmise the rather obvious truth that Astarte is the Queen of Hell. Nonetheless I make it clear to the Christians who are speaking with me that I will not rely upon my special status to live in a palace in hell, while the dead at the palace gates are suffering from unspeakable horrors. I will go to hell to clean the toilets. A good queen is not so much the ruler of her people as their servant. The dead are not by any means my victims, for I feel that I am their mother. The toilets in hell are in dire need of cleaning because the torments of hell are not the result of any sort of flames. The damned are full of sh*t and they would not be in hell except for the fact that they are "full of it". I am afraid that constipation and diarrhea are chronic afflictions in hell, for the psyche of the evil human being is (shall we say) unsightly. Do not imagine that I will be dressed in robes of white. I shall wear my usual black, for I do not wish to make myself obvious and appear better than my children in any way. Considering the work that I will be doing, white would be impractical in any case, for it readily shows a stain. I will wear a simple suit of black, and I will have a toilet brush in my hand. Honestly I cannot imagine what I would do in heaven except relax and enjoy myself. When my "vacation" in hell is over I will incarnate into whatever place in the world is the "hellhole" at that time. I cannot promise that I will hold a toilet brush in my hand as I leave my mother's womb, but that is an image of the life that I will have.
I am not going to heaven---I wonder if you are going to heaven.
Below: a typical scene in hell. This is the toilet in apartment 30957349766932168432A. I am wise beyond my years after cleaning this toilet in Mr. Hitler's apartment so many times.
Give my remains to Broadway.
I hope so.
I think I am wise beyond my years after cleaning the toilet in the apartment of Adolf Hitler so many times.
as far as i'v read, seen and heard heaven i boring. i'm going to Valhalla for a while n then coming back to hassle people again. *teasing grin*
I am applying for a position in Hell to make those who use others Faith to screw them and think
that sitting in a building and mumbling some words, then going out and doing it all over.
Survived a 7.200 V electrocution and used my second chance wisely, meaning no regrets, no harm.
"Perception is based on differentiations that rely on both time and space"
We learn, if One pays attention, quite a lot in our sleep period. I noticed that
time is accelerated in dream time. This is my observation and it works for me.
Awhile ago someone at SETI asked " If the Universe is Expanding, What is it
>moving aside it passes. Some also state that our 'Existence' is connected at the
Quantum Level, thus allowing One to 'Program' One's self, per-say.
Death is a beginning. If one understands that we are just a phase relationship in Energy.
I am happy that my little essay has finally evoked some thoughtful responses. My purpose in writing it was not to portray what an afterlife might actually be like, but to destroy, through satire and humor, the validity of the Christian goal in life, which has traditionally been the attainment of heaven. I recently overheard some nuns praying one of the classical prayers of the Catholic church, which said (I must paraphrase it), "O Jesus, save us from the fires of hell, and lead us into the everlasting joys of heaven." My version of the prayer would be (of course the nuns would not like this), "O Self that I am, that does not truly exist, free me from the desire for heaven, that I might fearlessly go into hell in order to bring a modicum of happiness to its inhabitants." My purpose in praying this prayer is not to make a claim that heaven or hell actually exist in the "afterworld", I am really stating an ethical position. As a bodhisattva (perhaps I am actually an anti-bodhisattva) I naturally wish to enter Nirvana instead of heaven, if not now then at the end of time. I will be content if my Nirvana is simply a cessation of existence, for then at least I will not suffer any more.
You can thank the Egyptians for their influence on Christianity. They were all about gaining immortality in the afterlife.
Having to exist for eternity with total actuality and no more potentiality sounds like Hell. Being around all the people for eternity who want to see me in heaven sounds like Hell. However, think of how much more fun existence would be if each life at this level is a day in a 'macro-existence'. Upon death, you wake up an advanced Cephalopod unhooking from a human virtual environment. You will return to work tomorrow for another run.