I've fallen away, and I'm seeking to reconnect. I led a group Beltaine rite back in 2015, and while everyone that came (there were maybe 7 or 8 of us) said they felt a lot of energy afterward, I left feeling very empty. And it just spiraled from there, I stopped practicing or even thinking about my religion, I lost all artistic inspiration, my relationships suffered. I didn't convert or anything, but I was very lost for awhile. Within the past couple months, I've started reaching back into my practice. And a few weeks ago, I was laying in bed, worrying about how I'm failing at motherhood (parents out there, you all feel me), and I felt filled with this energy, and so supported. I've been focusing on Brigit, getting a special space set up in my kitchen for offerings to her and directing my devotionals to her as well. Anyway, I feel that she has been responding to my needs, but I'm still feeling very unmotivated in certain areas of my life. I have had recent depressive episodes (I have mental health diagnoses), but am addressing with my doctor.
So how do you go about finding motivation and inspiration and just the energy to engage in daily life? Thoughts, support, tips are appreciated.
Where do you live ?
City , or country life ?
Nature nearby ?
Do you exercise ?
Do you interact with animals ?
Do you do any daily chanting , singing ?
What do you focus on ?
What is your diet like ? ( "Live Foods" ? )
Do you find things that touch your heart , or make you laugh each day ?
Do you do *something* just for you each day ?
Do you do ritual baths / bathing , with incense , candles , flowers ?
What is special to you ?
( how long has it been since you experienced that ? )
Just a few questions to start...;)
P.S. Have you looked into any soul loss , during the ritual ,
or giving your power away to others ? ( soul retrieval might be needed )
Semi-rural micropolitan (hence my blog name), lots of nature nearby, not enough exercise, interact with animals daily, try to do daily devotionals, I focus on getting through the day, my diet sucks but I'm trying to improve, I try to find meaning in things, I do things for myself each day but not really anything deep, I don't often have time for baths (vs. showering), my family/my education/myNPO/my community (in order).
Diet... Right there is a really big part of the equation. And yes, this can be a very difficult area as I myself have had struggles in this area. But your physical energy depends immensely on this area. Get some good supplements too.
I find it interesting that right after your Beltain ceremony is when the energy left you... Yet you report the others felt "energized". Is it possible that what happened was, instead of the energy flowing from nature in the ceremony, it actually flowed out of you, and into them?
Another thing you really want to try is Grounding, and by that I mean literally, physically taking off your shoes and socks and standing on the ground, preferably in nature setting (out alone in the woods) and even better standing in a creek or at a lakes edge but in the water. Doing this while meditating and visualizing the earths energy entering through your feet, into your Chakras, and up and through the top of your head.
What may have happened on that Beltain ceremony is that you (unbeknownst to yourself) created a "Servator" that gave your energy to those others. Visualize the energy currents going from you to them, then cut those energy currents off. See the energy flow back into your life.
Write down some affirmations and read them aloud each day, several times a day. Visualize what you want as you do this. Meditate on them.
Thanks for the awesome suggestion. Its something that I often recommended to my volunteers I recruited. I recently held a position in nonprofit administration, where one of my primary duties was volunteer coordination. I was in this job for nearly 2.5 years and lost it when our board leadership changed over (I hate small NPO politics, since I am not an ass-kisser). This was at an organization that runs a homeless shelter and recovery house. I started a nonprofit in February (we are 501(c)3 certified), and have volunteered with my local RCC since 2014. I'm finishing my second bachelor's program in Family Life Education, and minoring in Nonprofit Management (Aug 2018). My first program was in Studio Arts, and I dropped out with 8 classes to go to have my oldest.
I'm good at doing the actions, its just finding the meaning in those actions its getting harder to do. I'm pretty sure its burn-out at this point, I just want to bounce back.
And my boys are 5 (almost 6) and 3.
Very good points here!
Yes falling off the wagon sometimes means our "Strict Plans" are just too dammed strict! Instead, try to have a "Flowey Plan" one that allows you to change things, one that allows you to rest when you need to rest.
The most important thing is to pick 1 or 2 thnigs to work on, and ignore the rest for now... as these become integrated into your life you can then slowly add the other things. Trying to do it all at once is a sure plan for failure.