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Going Home

Recently, during intense dance experiences, I have had a feeling welling up within me of 'just wanting to go home'. It reduces me to tears and leaves me emotionally drained, and perplexed, because thoughts of my physical home, my family, friends, or any place I've been, doesn't match the desire. I've no idea where this 'home' is, but do get a feeling that I've had enough of being here, and want to go back there.

Has anyone had similar feelings? Any ideas on what I might be experiencing? I don't feel particularly stressed or depressed in life, I have no wish to run away from anything, nor do I lack any love/protection/security from those around me.

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Permalink Reply by Gabriel Pendragon on October 21, 2012 at 11:23am

All the time. its a feeling that i carry with me constantly and nothing ever seems to make it go away.

Permalink Reply by Tara Flower on October 21, 2012 at 12:59pm

I have an experience a bit similar to this. When I dance I always do the same dance that I learnt between 200 and 300 years ago, and I always feel that the time and place where I learnt it was the happiest I've ever been.

Permalink Reply by Gabriel Pendragon on October 21, 2012 at 1:05pm

I know that feeling, worse when you current muscles aren't able to move in the same ways that you remember being able to move. Almost painful not being able to.

Permalink Reply by Tara Flower on October 21, 2012 at 1:11pm

I didn't have any muscles, it was in between lifetimes, but if you tell stories like this some people don't believe you.

Sid could think about the possibility this might apply to him?

Permalink Reply by Gabriel Pendragon on October 21, 2012 at 1:24pm

Shrug, My memories, my pain, I dont really care what people believe. Though dancing in a form using no muscles must be interesting when trying to dance it with them.

Permalink Reply by Sid Diver on October 22, 2012 at 5:29pm

I'm not sure, Tara Flower, but thank you for your experience. Dance can be a powerful tool, but the feeling isn't about the dancing, its more the emotions that the dancing awakens. I don't feel that its a memory, either, just an unfulfilled or lost desire.

Permalink Reply by Aurelia Pontia on October 21, 2012 at 1:17pm

Yes.  When under severe stress, I curl up and have the strongest feeling that I 'want to go home'.  But I am home.  So, obviously it means something else and I'm not sure what.

Permalink Reply by Kixs on October 21, 2012 at 1:21pm

I have a personal theory about what I call "I just want to go home." emotion that seems to sweep over some people at different moments in their lives when it seems to not fit with their present curcumstance.

People of higher awarness seem to feel that there is a place, a time, a person or group of people that will make them feel at home. Meaning wanted and safe, well taken care of, comfortable in their own skin, at a constant state of ease. It seems to be a normal feeling.

This is what my theory is. There is no such time or place or people. There is only you. Your are telling you that one of those things mentioned above is missing and only you can change that. Even if your sure there is nothing missing, you know there is and you are telling you that it is. So listen to you and figure out what it is and change to get it. Then you will be home.

This is coming from someone that traveled the world over looking for home, until one day I just got very still and found it. Where ever I am, is home and I feel completely at home there.

Permalink Reply by Aurelia Pontia on October 21, 2012 at 2:06pm

Good theory Kixs.  Sad if it turns out to be true, though.  That means the majority of people who feel this way will never feel at home because they will never have what they are missing.

Permalink Reply by Kixs on October 21, 2012 at 7:23pm

Why do you say that? Haven't you heard the saying that Home is where the heart is?

Permalink Reply by Aurelia Pontia on October 22, 2012 at 7:11pm

If you give your heart to someone else, home is with them.  You find your heart's desire in a city you will never be able to live in, you won't have your heart either.

Permalink Reply by Ritalin-Bunny on October 21, 2012 at 3:13pm

I've felt like this from time to time. Now that I'm reaching an age where death could snap me up any moment I've to stretch when last I felt so inclined.

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