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I was not always the rather melancholy Sophia Lucifer, and Sophia Lucifer in her various personas was not always as forbidding as she is now. When I first came to Pagan Space last November I was someone both funny and seductive. I was Zena Medusa.

I never actually used photos of myself for my profile pictures. (Who among us does that?) No, I must tell the men among my readers, this femme fatale is not a selfie. But one of my first PS friends was a gentleman who loved the ancient Minoan civilization, and although he was fascinated by the labyrinth and its mystic meaning, what apparently drew him to that world was the dress code of the women---for they did not cover their breasts. So he was attracted to me, without thinking that I might have taken this picture from Google Images.

My first post was a blog article entitled “What, really, is a medusa?” In this article I discussed friendly and unfriendly medusas, and used this picture for the friendly kind:

This was a picture that hung upon the wall of my bedroom at the time I joined Pagan Space, and it is still there today. I used this picture as an image for the Goddess whom I worship. I just call her “Medusa Goddess”. She is smart and savvy---loving, but a “tough cookie” for anyone who might get “in my face”. She talks with a Queens, New York, accent. I think that anyone who irritates her too much will get a little bite from the snake in the upper right-hand corner. It is because I used this picture that I got the idea to call myself Zena Medusa. It turns out that my Goddess is actually Prajnaparamita, the “Mother of the Buddhas”, and I am her daughter the Bodhisattva Tara, but that is another story.

When I wanted a Pagan Space name that could express my “goddess identity” (How many women feel that way. Be honest) I chose my favorite Astarte, the Canaanite love goddess. My Minoan friend was still happy with this image:

Astarte looks at me and reminds me with her eyes that I must not forget how sexual I still am, and must be. It is actually me talking to myself. But life is not always pleasurable, and in response to the needs of a universe in crisis I decided to become a superwoman with a more muscular and heroic nature. The result was Eris Epiphanes, where Eris is the Greek goddess of discord. Epiphanes means “divine manifestation”. I always think big.

Boy, is she mean. She is mean enough to go after Archon, the evil god who rules the cosmos in place of the real God. I never found out what Archon did with Him. In a blog article called “The Sacred Task of Eris” I wrote that “Archon sits in an office (I will not tell you where it is) and controls everyone and everything. He makes Satan look like a bit player.” I must say, however, that my Minoan friend was alarmed, and soon stopped responding to my messages.

The idea of an “Archon” or false god who rules the universe is taken from Gnosticism, and soon I was ready to become the Aeon (one step above a goddess, folks) Sophia Lucifer. I did not invent the Aeon Sophia Lucifer, and many internet websites and videos are devoted to her. She tried to save Adam and Eve from Archon by transforming herself into a wise serpent in the Garden of Eden, so that she could offer Eve the gnosis or hidden knowledge which reveals that Eve and her husband, lowly human beings, are divine---for the true Light, the divine Spark, is in their hearts. Archon does not have that Light. But Adam and Eve did not comprehend the teaching, and became ashamed when Archon discovered that they had eaten from the forbidden Tree of Knowledge. Maybe they should have kicked him out of the Garden. This was my first picture for Sophia Lucifer. She calls herself the Mother of Humanity.

Because I am Lucifer, it is inevitable that I should go to hell. The following image never became a profile picture, but served as a tile on my profile page. It seems that Archon is victorious, but Sophia looks as though she's hanging in there. She's probably thinking of a way to get out---if so, Archon's days are numbered.

As Aeon Sophia Lucifer I have become so huge, so important, and so cosmic that I long to be small again. I have been thinking about this for some time now. When I lay down my universal powers I shall become “Little Miss Mouse”. I will tell you when that happens.

No, I don’t mean a computer mouse.

Have you ever assumed a new identity on Pagan Space? Or let me ask you this---are your old days on Pagan Space good ol' days?

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Several times.

There were members here that knew me quite well outside of this site, knew what I actually looked like and my name as well.

Months ago I posted a real pic and used it as my avatar but I have never used my real name because of possible blow back due to my work.

I have left this site a few times as well and came back since 2008.

Your story of transformation and growth is beautiful. While I have left and come back to PS several times (life gets in the way), I have never changed my name or avatar. Always the water sprite... I love the water. Yet it is fire that burns in my soul. Your story has me thinking it's time for a change.

During this same period of time I wrote for a blog, but kept creating another blog every time I wanted to write with a new perspective. After all, Google Blogger is free. I am working on my ninth blog, and have enough material to combine the essays into a small book. Some of the essays first saw light on Pagan Space.

That is amazing! I can imagine that having the blogs is an incredibly cathartic experience.

My Spiritual beliefs have evolved over time learning about religions and finding what I believe in but lately it hasn't changed much in a few years

Nope...always been me , still am , always will be...

I shapeshift enough between dimensions in my daily existence ,

I need *some* stability , nor do I believe in hiding who I am...


"I never actually used photos of myself for my profile pictures. (Who among us does that?)"


I do !

Yet , the ones on my profile are me masked because that is part of my ritual garb...;)

I am glad to hear that you don't hide. But as a matter of fact, even though my pictures all come from Google Images, they are as true to life as possible. Did you notice that they all show me with dark hair, light skin, etc? I chose them carefully, so if you squint a little they look like the same person. As for the pointed ears . . .

I feel this 100%. After age 5 my life got hard. My life is just now getting better. I now know why I had so much pain in life. My core is very strong. Full of fire. And I'm not changing for no one, human or divine.

Lot of people change their names.  For many reasons. 

Because they're bored, because they want to identify with another part of themselves, because they want to make public their newest interest or latest change.

You want to change your name, change it.  It's not that important to anyone else.  The only reason you might want to make it known to others is so that people don't mistake you for a new member.

I have been here forever it feels like. Always Psyche, that's how it's been. A name drawn from the wife of Eros.

Luckily, this screen name and my url one is drawn from fiction. It feels more like 'me' than any other incarnation I have seek to find because of how often I have used it. My spirituality is constantly evolving, but that should not always translate into my screen name. I was 'xoc' for along time, but that is because of the religion I was involved in.

All of these are acceptable. I even accept Xoc, I mean it was my name after all. :P


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