How Do I Handle My Daughter????????

I do not understand my eldest daughter...She calls her dad who is only her stepdad, all the time...She does'nt call me, or she she answers and says she will call me back, she never does...I text her she does'nt respond...I do not understand what in the hell I did to her this time...Before I go any further, She Is A Christian...I have not been the best Mom, in fact, every mistake you can make, I made with her...I am really getting tired of walking on eggshells...It seems as though she only wants something to do with me when I am doing what she thinks I should be doing...I just needed to vent...

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Permalink Reply by Anastasia Fitzgerald on January 29, 2009 at 8:24pm: Mothers never understand daughters. You can take that from me, Lady Hawk! I would say that it is best not to try too hard, that's all. Things will fall into place...eventually. :); ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by LadyHawk on January 29, 2009 at 8:27pm: Your right, I still have a hard time with my mom...lol...Thank you :); ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Fionn oMurchu on January 29, 2009 at 8:39pm: As a father who has raised a daughter and a step-daughter, and has made as many mistakes as anyone possibly could, I give you two alternatives:

1. Sit back with patience and love, and wait for the proverbial lightbulb to go on over her head (it takes awhile).
2. Run screaming into the dark with your brains pouring out of your ears.

I've done both, they seem to work equally well; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by LadyHawk on January 29, 2009 at 8:45pm: Thats pretty much where I'm at...sigh; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Jackie on January 29, 2009 at 8:51pm: This is exactly what i do... all the time! My kids are younger but my daughter is getting to that tween stage, and one day its oh mom i love you lets cuddle, and the next its you were my "incubator". I am by far not the best mom out there, my depression has head to her being very wary of my "moods" i know tho, that in time may be about 10 yrs or so, things will even out. My own mom and me had a hard relationship untill i was in my early 20's, she did a lot of bad crap to me due to her alcholaism, (when she peed on me i was sure id hate her for ever, it was on my 13th bday, in front of all my friends at a slumber party.... i ended up getting new friends after that ;P ) but things settled down, she never did get help, but we managed to forgive each other and now, things are at a peacul point. time, time and more time, thats what it takes.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by LadyHawk on January 29, 2009 at 8:55pm: I suppose your right, Jackie...; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by ema on January 30, 2009 at 10:24pm: #2 works very well, used it often when my daughter was mutating I mean growning up. Last time was....well lets see...she's 29...and it's 9:23.....about...I'll let you know.
I don't do it every night like I did when she was 15, that was a bad year.....my head exploded alot that year...wanna see my scar? lol; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by morgaine1571 on January 29, 2009 at 8:40pm: maybe you can go out for coffee.. somewhere? if not it sounds like she may just need s ome space.... but thats my thoughts on this; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by LadyHawk on January 29, 2009 at 8:46pm: She has plenty of space...I'm just tired of being last on her list...; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by morgaine1571 on January 29, 2009 at 8:54pm: i know.. huggs.. but unfortunately you cant force her... try seeing if she will go out to lunch with you or go get some coffee..

then maybe you figure out whats bothering her and you can try and solve it... all you can do i offer the first move... and take it from there.

good luck and goddess bless!; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by MappaM on January 29, 2009 at 8:43pm: Namaste

I understand what you're saying and I can understand the pain it causes you. We all make mistakes and most are given the chance to make them over and over. When others change their ways or try to make up for wrongs they honestly feel they committed, there will always be those who won't let them forget. It's their way of punishing when they have no other way. If you are pagan and your daughter is Christian, and especially if she is a teen, which is sounds like she is, the church is catering to whatever wrongs she has endured. They are probably saying it's because you are pagan and that until you are Christian, she shouldn't deal with you at all. They do that, I know that for a fact. So her anger with you is being fed by a religious belief that Christians are good, deserving people and others, pagans, gentiles are evil and deserve to be ignored at the least and shunned. It isn't right, there's no good that can come from it, but it is the churches attempt at converting you to their way of thinking. It is using your child against you, it is using your love for your daughter to make you want her's in return so bad, you will do anything including changing your spiritual belief to what they want you to believe.

I can't say that it will change unless your daughter learns to think for herself and forgive you for anything that may have happened in the past. She is following the path of others instead of her own. But her path will always be there to follow when she's ready.

For now, it is a tough pill to swallow. Just be true to yourself.

Brightest Blessings
~MappaM~; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by LadyHawk on January 29, 2009 at 8:48pm: Shes 26, married with 3 kids...I am being true to my self, it just hurts...I know I will eventually get over it...; ▶ Reply to This