First, forget about the “harm none”, not only is it unrealistic, but it wastes your energy. If your intention is to make things better, then the universe is not going to twist that into something harmful.
Second, if you can ground yourself, then you can ground others. I know its hard to remain grounded in a storm with chaos all around, but it’s a very useful skill and one worth learning. Perhaps that’s why you’re in this situation. I know that when everyone is shouting and running around, if I mentally ground myself and bring internal calm, the people around me will begin to calm down as well. When they yell, bring your voice down to a calm almost whisper, and it will draw them down with you.
As for incense try Lavender or just a lavender potpourri as the smoke from incense can irritate some people more. However, if the child is autistic, strong sensory stimulation like strong smells may make the situation worse.
I agree. Contrary to popular belief there is no "harm none" in Wicca. That's a few words of the Wiccan Rede taken out of context. Most Wiccans I know strive to avoid unnecessary harm, which is a bit different than harm none. "Do no harm, but take no sh*t".
Why is this person living in your mother's home?
In my opinion Alex's better situation would start with his mother shutting the hell up. Personal opinion of course. Mentally disabled kids (no matter their age) do not handle screaming or being screamed at well. Actually I don't know anyone who does handle it well except the people that scream all the time maybe.
As for calming down this woman maybe telling her to quit screaming would be a good start.
As for magical, you control your household energy so set it to calm and keep it there. That calms comes from your energy and radiates out. So it starts with you. Ground and calm. Lavender in any form is calming. A gentle but direct reminder to Haley to be calm wouldn't hurt either.
Alum sprinkled in the door way into Hayley's room will help keep her mouth shut. A bit of Alum sprinkled in the entrance door ways to the home can't hurt either. Side note don't let the pets lick it up. Not dangerous, but it will put a pucker on their faces for a bit.
If you get the mother to calm down you will see a huge difference in the child.
Thanks for the suggestion,where do I find Alum? I sent her a text at work monrhs ago telling her not to yell if she wanted to be in my house,she constanhly ignores me. even when I try to be nice and calm and reasonable she is such a loud angry person I keep staying angry and can't ground and center anymore.
I bought a pound of white sage around February or March and I am out of white sage completely. I had bought a smudge stick of it at the same time. I ran out smudging when she went to work every day or smudging myself after showers or smudging my room to calm down.
She won't let me control my own household she orders me around and yells and when I am buying things confuses me by back seat shopping then yells at me for spending all my grocery money,she acts like an asshole and expects to have good things happen to her and that I am her best friend? she treats me like a victim and does not even know how she makes me feel because she is impossible to talk to avout things like that.
You can find alum in block form in some specialty stores. It's also most common in the baking aisles of grocery stores, as it is used for canning to keep pickles and things crisp. I wish you luck in your situation!
I have had great luck with an incense made with equal parts of parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme (yeah, just like the song!) and it just calms down even a houseful of people in no time at all and lowers the stress levels.
I used readily available dried cooking herbs and ground them to a powder together, then burned a 1/4 teaspoon on a charcoal and smudged the house. It doesn't smell distinctly of sage, so the chaosreaver may not notice it in the air, or you could smudge the house before she arrives and again after she leaves.
It will definitely help calm your space and make you comfortable, whether it will help any issues the chaosreaver has is another story....some people won't acknowledge even to themselves that something is wrong and, in that case, nothing will help except in the short-term. As for the boy, it may calm him down as well, though I haven't been in a situation to test it for a medical condition. Good luck and blessed be.