Its been awhile since I have been on here and the reason behind todays visit isn't exactly pleasurabel.
Okay, I need some advice.
Whats going on is I have a friend who is living with us in our apartment, we let her move in because the situation at home was untenable and we were close to school.
At first it was fine, but after awhile me and her seemed to clash over the simplest things. She would blow up about any little perceived slight. She is dramatic and the epitome of every bad thing said about a Leo. She is a diva about everything and we are finding that her staying here is more about convienence than about being safe from her parents. Its annoying and I am sick of always being on eggshells around her.
Despite this, I don't want her to leave without having a better set of circumstances to go to. She will be finishing her class this quarter, we are half way there already. I just want there to be less drama and I want things to end soon and well.
Hot foot powder has come to mind but it doesn't really do everything I want.
Now here is my question: What kind of powder or spell would you recommend? I want her to leave as soon as possible but I don't want her to just go back home to a miserable existence or just be someone else's problem.
Any help would be appreciated ASAP. Thank you!
Just sit down and talk with her. Clearly state that she has x amount of time to find a different place. No magic needed. Just adult conversation.
Now thats sensible advice:)
It would be if she were a sensible adult. Honestly I am a little afraid of her reaction. We have discussions about her behaviour weekly and it does not change, she is irrational when confronted. She is going to be leaving soon but I just want to give it a little push.
How old is she?
Adult conversation might not work with someone who is acting out like a child.
aptly put and also quite true in this case.
Why was her situation at her home untenable? Was she perhaps the cause of all the drama, like she is now in your home. You say she is a "friend" (and a bloody toxic one by the sound of it) not a relative of yours, nor is she your offspring, so why should it matter to you what kind of situation she walks into? Why do you feel responsible for her being someone else's problem?
If having an "adult conversation" does not work I would suggest the following:-
Firstly, ensure she hands over any keys she has to your house, garage, outbuildings etc. (This will prevent her returning as a "squatter" to your property and claiming "squatters rights" there)
Secondly, pack ALL her possessions into HER suitcases and bags. Do not allow her to store anything at your house and do not lend her any suitcases or bags of yours. Use some black plastic bin liners if she does not have enough bags of her own. This will prevent her from having an excuse to return to your home.
Lastly, with her present throw all her packed things out of your home and off your property with the firm and clear instruction to leave and never return. Say something like "That's your f**king stuff out of my house now you can f**king well follow it and don't come back"
I have known other people use this method and it works like a charm!
I doubt if your friend with have anything further to do with you if you do this, but you will be well rid of a negative toxic influence in your life.
Here is a novel approach to your problem: Take this opportunity to move yourself into a new location leaving your unwanted guest and others behind.
We are in fact going to be leaving soon, as soon as I get my passport in order. I just want her to move on as quickly and as smoothly as possible. My Partner is also very upset by her but does not want to just kick her out. Another added factor is that she is visually impaired which makes it more difficult in some ways.
Sometimes relocating and leaving someone behind in your old place isn't good either. That is when the bills and rental agreement is in your name. Is she on some sort of rental agreement with you guys? You seem like a sweet caring person but sometimes dealing with people like that you have to pushback. Throw her shit outside, don't feel bad about her being visually impaired she's clearly not letting that hold her back from being a jerk or taking advantage of you guys. Sometimes people need to learn from hard experiences it helps humble you but get ready for some lash back if you choose to stand up to her.
You guys are also at fault, for letting someone live with you when you don't really know them. I know it can be hard because ppl aren't themselves until you live with them.
Remember, Whatever you choose it's only temporary and you will learn from it for the better. Good luck my dear.