Letting go of a grudge

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Permalink Reply by Xoc on November 11, 2009 at 11:02pm

Oh do either a curse or banishing ritual on that person. That has always helped me let my anger go.

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Permalink Reply by Rhianynn on November 12, 2009 at 12:46am

WOW! Id have though the better advice would be to try & change how she was looking at it! Maybe something to help her work through her frustration!? But if you think a cures!!?? is in order, maybe I'm missing something!?

BB Rhianynn

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Permalink Reply by J.W.C. Lucian on November 12, 2009 at 1:50am

Yeah seriously, cursing someone is a bad thing. My mother always pulls the Malocchio.
She put it on my stepfather and he got very sick. The only time I would ever put a curse on someone is if the situation was REALLY bad like if someone beat or murdered a loved of mine. Then I would. Better hope I don't, I"ll send you to the Nar-Mattaru and SON if there is ever a hell I have ever heard of that is the most vile, wretched of spawn it's there.
I don't even think Tartarus compairs.

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Permalink Reply by Xoc on November 12, 2009 at 10:43am

I'm not gonna froo-froo around it. You can have your moral judgments about it. But if someone personally offends me, I'm not above cursing them. I'm not the pagan that believes in being nice to everyone or the threefold law. I think its a bunch of BS. No matter how many eggshells you walk on to try and not harm someone, you will always harm someone even by accident. Thus is life. Why not get some balls about it and take charge instead of following the "harm none" mantra?

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Permalink Reply by Scarlett Jade on November 13, 2009 at 11:40pm

I agree with your statement about harming others unintentionally. It happens all the time. I don't believe in that free will or harm none crud either. I've never cursed anyone, but I'm not gonna judge someone else for their use of curses or anything else. To each their own.

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Permalink Reply by Gary D. on November 11, 2009 at 11:03pm

Nope, It will just be gone one day. No way to lessen it. You could try, for example, saying I forgive you, everyday at least once. but nothing I can think of.

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Permalink Reply by Cait on November 11, 2009 at 11:14pm

i don't know what they did, but i was in a situation a while ago. my best friend and i got in a huge fight and didn't speak for two years. during those two years, we both did a bit of growing up and maturing then one day i got an email from her apologizing. i still wasn't sorry for my actions, but i put aside my ego, shut my mouth about it and now we are like sisters again.

hope that helps.

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Permalink Reply by Rain Hawksong on November 11, 2009 at 11:28pm

Well in this case, we didn't fight at all. She is/was(not sure which right now), a college friend. One afternoon in June, we simply agreed to meet up at the mall after not chilling in a few months. Things were fine at first. We stayed at the mall for an hour two, but then I'm not sure what happened next. Things just seemed to strain near the end. We headed back down to the bus station. I told her what bus route to take. I knew she already knew, but I didn't mean anything by it, and she just says to me almost rudely and without looking back, "Yeah, I know what bus to take." or something like that. She didn't say goodbye or anything. That was the last time we spoke. It felt really awkward right after we departed but it wasn't long before my resentment developed. My main lingering question is 'Why?' Was it my fault? Did I do something?
Well anyway to to end the sudden ramble, that's pretty much what led up to this grudge.

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Permalink Reply by Cait on November 12, 2009 at 2:52am

oh, well maybe you're just growing apart. i'd be put off if someone i hadn't seen in a while said something like that to me too. especially since you were just trying to be nice. if it were me, i'd just leave it alone.

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Permalink Reply by Posie Mare on November 12, 2009 at 10:26am

Sometimes people just outgrow each other or their roads diverge. An acknowledgment of the awkwardness of the meeting or that it isn't what it once was can sometimes lead people to act in a rude or strange manner.

In the past, when I have had encounters such as these, I've tried to contact the person to talk or hang out one last time. If there is still a very strong feeling of weirdness or discomfort, I then assess how much I am able and willing to invest in salvaging the relationship. This is always a difficult question, and the actions (or non-action) following depend a great deal on the individual. I have friends that will have separate lives for months or years, and when we meet back up, we pick up right where we left off with no problems or hard feelings (seriously). In my experience, that is a rare thing. Other friends I've had have more codependent tendencies or are too attached to the past to allow adaption or any development that is not exactly what they want. Those relationships, though both parties tried different times to reconnect, only crashed and burned once again as old wounds were opened or manipulative tactics became involved.

I think the biggest questions you need to ask yourself right now is 1. how much you want to rekindle the relationship, 2. if it is possible right now given the situations in both your life and her life, 3. how much emotional investment you can manage to dedicate to fostering the friendship 4. and if it is wise.

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Permalink Reply by Alexander Wolfe on November 11, 2009 at 11:18pm

Hmm... to err is human to forgive is divine? Let it go? try to replace the negative with positive?
Kill the person?

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Permalink Reply by WiccanVixen on November 11, 2009 at 11:21pm

move on..put the offer on the table to make peace..if your friend takes it.allow the friendship to grow..if they do not..move past it and move on.. not everyone responds to things as one might hope..the only thing u can do is make ur best effort to right things.

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