Letting go of a grudge
All right, so I seem to be holding a grudge against a so-called friend of mine. Without going into too much detail, it's been about six months now and we haven't spoken since. Lately I've been trying to let go of the feeling and rid myself of it. Any suggestions?
Replies to This Discussion
-
Permalink Reply by d'Arqstar on -
Just consider the energy you're putting into carrying that negative energy around. Is it worth the effort? Wouldn't it be easier just to let it go?
Suggestion...write down THREE key words that hold the energy of your grudge, be it "betrayal", "hurt", "lies" whatever....find a rock and write those words on it...put that energy into the rock...then toss it into a stream or other body of water...give the emotions back to the sea of emotions and be free of them.
If it's meant to be that you and 'whomever' rebuild your relationship, best done so without the baggage. If it's not meant to be, you won't have to lug that around anymore.
Eh? Just a suggestion.
Grudges weigh a TON...and I've seen what they can do to people...why put yourself through that? Cut it loose!
Again...just my take on the situation!
Follow your instincts.
F&W!
-
Permalink Reply by Moonsmith on
-
A little communication might do wonders. Talk it out with them, if they are willing. Even if you get into a full blown argument, you get a target to aim it at. Better than stewing in your own juices.
If they are not willing, just let it go and move on in your life. Turn it over to the divine (if you have that in your life) every day if you have to and just keep moving.
-
Permalink Reply by Silver Dove on -
its been nearly a year for me, trying to let go of a grudge too, so i understand how it can weigh on your mind at times, and it can drive you nuts. that said, i do my best to say to myself that if it was meant to be the way it is, it would have happened no matter what i did. if things are to change, they will. i wouldnt try to force something thats not there (believe me, its not pretty, and you can wind up worse off than you were before, even though all you wanted was your friend back) if it is meant to be as it is, then let it go, accept it, do a banishing spell if you need to. if was meant to be differently then it wouldnt be six months and no word from this person. i would try the spell and see if that helps
-
Permalink Reply by d'Arqstar on
-
People come into our lives for various reasons and for various lengths of time. The older you get the more aware of this you become. Some stay for a short time, some longer, some you HOPE will be with you always, but that's not the way of things. Holding a grudge serves no purpose and only hurts YOU. Do you deserve the pain? Of course not!
Nothing is guaranteed but change, learn to let go and "go with the flow"...if you're meant to be re-united, you will be...if not, cherish what good you shared and release the negative...it will only slow you down. (again, this is just based on my experience.)
-
Permalink Reply by Rain Hawksong on -
I thank everyone for the advice.:)
-
Permalink Reply by liquidquick on -
call your friend up, tell her you were thinking about her and want to know if she would like to meet up somewhere for lunch. act as if nothing happened. then the ball is in her court. keep it short and sweet - if thing work out, great. if not, at least you did what you could.
namaste,
lq
-
Permalink Reply by Johnny CThulhu on -
I'm in the same boat. I obsess over things like that. I've been carrying a grudge now for 3 years!So don't feel so bad.You can always point your finger and laugh at me!
-
Permalink Reply by Dragon in Shining Armor on -
I have a simple rule that I impose on myself if a person is truly worth knowing: never take offense. To err is human; to forgive, impossible.
Sure, it's natural to get pissy about some things, real or imagined, but a real friendship will let you both see through the clutter easily enough. If you can't communicate, though, that's a sign of dangerous disease, of rot in the friend-tree.
As for cursing them... Human, please.
-
Permalink Reply by PamWiccan on -
Very good advice Dragon. And to curse someone because of a grudge is not a way of solving the problem, Communication is the key and if you are unable to do so then you must just move on.
BB
-
Permalink Reply by deborah on
-
i held a grudge against my older sister for over a year when we were younger
now that our mom is deceased we really don't speak that much now
due to conflict surrounding my mom's death before and after.
-
Permalink Reply by Scarlett Jade on -
speaking from personal experience you're probably better off without that "friend" in your life and that's why she's gone. It takes time to get over stuff like that. I did a bunch of meditations, rituals, etc to try to get rid of my feelings of pain, anger, and hurt from a so called friend doing way worse to me and it's years later and I still feel kind of off about the situation and I definitely don't ever want to see the person again. I did summon the person. Meaning I did a visualization where I pictured her coming to my house and speaking with her in great detail and when she did show up at my door a few weeks later (It had been almost 4 or 5 years since I had last spoken to or seen her) she just went on and on with vile things and blaming others for her problems and all kinds of stuff. The only thing that did was give me a positive feeling that all the stuff she did to me was already done back to her through karma. I've let it go a lot more since then, but I still don't wish to have anything to do with her.
Advertisers
Donate/Sponsor Paganspace
Any donations to help with the rising costs of maintaining PaganSpace are always greatly appreciated. Many Blessings to you.
PS Podcast & Radio
Pagan Friendly Podcasts & Radio Show Listings. Join Now or View Show SchedulesCool Sites & Links
