The idea of anything being "meant to be" is probably the singularly most hurtful idea that lazy people ever created in order to explain away why they are going to quit trying to achieve something that they want. I agree that it doesn't make you feel any better. It's not supposed too, people who offer that as their way of comfort probably think of themselves as "realistic" people and do not understand consciously that they are not helping at all.
I do believe that everyone does suffer the occasional disappointment here and there so that we can become something more, and it usually means that there is something much better over the horizon if we but persevere and continue on as we have been which is something that our fellow "meant to be" experts know nothing of because failures for them mean that they quit.
Think about it if something can be explained away as not being "meant to be" then why work for anything? Why try? Why stretch to improve? What's the point if its not meant to be?
I am probably biased though, I am one of those people who believe that "at first you don't succeed try, try, try again" and when one door closes another more magnificent one opens you just have to look for it.
I can understand the kids thing, I'm trying as well. Actually its what a close friends tells me when I get a negative pregnancy test and it just makes it hurt more. A few people have mentioned adoption but since I'm not married - I don't even qualify to adopt. Actually I'm being tested again for health issues and a possible ovarian cyst to find out why I'm having fertility issues at 24 years old.
And I agree, if my close friends cant say something appropriate they should just give me hug.
Not really. I'm kind of one of those people but i don't use those words exactly. I tend not to say anything even though i'm thinking it.
I am of the opinion that all things happen for one reason or another. If its going to happen or not its not really my place to say. What will be will be. I try not to stress about it.
But there is definitely a place when to say something and when not to. I can see how in certain situations that can be very rude.