Growing up i was taught that you where to do the will of God and to use your will for your benefit was almost a violation of the order of things. So mostly I have used magick for cleansing healing or divining. But any thing beyond that i feel like I'm doing something wrong. It's not even like I'm doing something negative either that would violate my true will. It's just when I use it to benefit my self i feel like there is much more important things i could be using it for. Any tip on how i can get past this blockage would be greatly appreciated.
What about your mundane life?
If your hungry... do you go into the kitchen and make yourself a sandwich?
Or do you pray about it first , making sure its the will of god that you should satisfy your hunger?
And the award for the best analogy go's to..... : )
This is something that helped me let go of Christianity. My dad's family taught me paganism my whole life, but my mother was very old-school Nazarene. I grew up in a Christian school and had to go to church 3-4 times a week, but during the summers I got to stay with my dad's family where I learned the old ways. It took me a long time to get over the church's brainwashing, but learning this helped a lot.
Granted, the person who showed it to me is completely Atheist, which I am not, but this documentary gives evidence for how monotheism developed through history and how the Bible evolved as well. There is also a part 2, this link is for part 1, but it is easy to find.
I hope it helps you as it did me.
Reading about religions that predate Christianity helped me a lot. And why? Because they showed me that people BEFORE Christ and who had NO inkling of Middle Eastern religions nevertheless lived lives relatively happy - no better or worse - WITHOUT the influence of Christ or Semitic religions.
Why would I be any different? The difference was I had been brainwashed by my Christian upbringing to believe otherwise. So simple reality converted me.
Correct me if I am wrong, but Mesopotamians, Phoenicians, and those in the Middle East established a fair amount of trade with Egypt and the Mediterranean. Including the staff of Hermes, astrology, and Aphrodite all have Middle Eastern origins.
While reflection and self empowerment can aid, it might not be a bad idea to seek professional therapy if it is something that is taking a major toll on your every day life or mental health. Many fanatically devoted parents can end up mentally scarring their children by the ferocity of their beliefs unintentionally causing a phobia effect to take hold of any new ideology that doesn't match 100% with what was taught.
14thpiece, here is a quote that my parents have told me many times over the years, and this along with the unique perspective of an artist who crafts for the simple joy of it has helped to shape my view of the world, and they have, in basic principle, carried over into my spiritual path and still touch my current beliefs and practise.
"God helps those who help themselves." I don't know who originally authored it, and though it was coming from Christian parents, I still hear it ring with truth.
Then there's the artist's perspective: The artist uses whichever tools to craft his/her work, but no matter how pretty the tools make the finished piece, the artist took the time to put his/her energy and care into it as s/he handled the tools. In a very real sense, the artist puts part of his/herself into the piece. In this way, the piece is a vital part of the artist.
If I sound preachy, feel free to rag on me, I don't mean to. :-) If Diety is the artist, and us the masterpiece, then in a very real way, we are all divine beings, and are capable of moving through the Universe with Diety as many Pagans do, just not to the same extent that Diety does. The painting can't physically lift a brush, after all, but it has the power the artist gave it, to move those who behold it on a soul-deep level. This, for lack of better wording, is how I believe humans are capable of communicating with Diety.
As far as the quote, it might make it easier for you to step out of your comfort zone. Here's the quote changed to fit my choice of wanting to use "God" in this post as little as possible:
"Diety helps those who help themselves." Donate all your money, food, job, house, and clothes to a homeless shelter and you, too, will become dependant on it when you have nothing because you gave it away without thought. Keep of yours what you need, plus a hair extra, and you have more breathing room to help others without worrying too much about whether or not you'll be capable of it later.
I, too, do little more than cleansing, healing and divination, but only because I have no need to do anything else. I'll occasionally ward the property we live on, and/or send a little charm with my daughter when she goes to school or out to play for her protection, but not much else.
You can easily use magick for attracting wealth without stepping on the toes of extremist Christian indoctrination too hard (I call it extremist because of my particular interpretation of Christianity as a whole versus the people who practise it), or to help you find something you've lost that you REALLY can't live without, and/or replace. Magick is your help-mate, not your crutch. It's as much a part of you as your nose, or leg, or eyes.
If you need a job for the money otherwise risk losing everything, using magick to draw wealth to you in the form of spellwork to find a job is simply surviving in today's world. If you have a job, but are still having trouble making ends meet, and you use magick to draw wealth to you, you may receive a promotion at work, or be offered a better job. That may be coincidence, or it may not, but it is not greed.
If you need for nothing financially, are well-off and have four cars, then attracting wealth would be stepping on toes all around, not to mentiion a waste of time and energy.
If you need a hair of extra money for a late bill, or some other one-time payment you wouldn't need under normal circumstances, working to draw a specific amount to you wouldn't be amiss.
I used wealth/money for an example here, because it's the easiest to put into words, but it can be applied to everything. I did have two-and-a-half-dozen other things to type in this reply too, but I can't remember them. :-) I'm sorry if I sound preachy and snobbish. I hope I was able to help some. ^_^
Money was one of the things i was thinking of. You where not being preachy or snobbish at all.
If you can make magic, then make it large.