Out of the Broom Closet

So I wanted to make this post only because it feels truely amazing that I should have made this realization.

For 6 years I've been in the broom closet. (5 of which was actual practice) Over time I've been becoming more and more sloppy at my hiding my work because somewhere inside of me I know I want them to find out. I simply cannot stand the idea of lying to them, and I honestly love my father and mother. Then they finally figured it out. My mom went walking back into the woods and found my grove/circle, and called me immediately (I'm at college) and asked "Are you into witchcraft?" I was mortified yet excited. I had always dreamed this moment would come when I wouldn't have to hide from them, yet also mortified because it was happening now of all times. I had always imagined it would happen some time where I could sit down and talk to my parents face to face about what was going on. They deserve that much. Now before I proceed any further, you must know this about my parents: They're Christians. And not your bible thumping, hypocrite zealots. They are honest to God Christians. The beleive his word is the truth and their lives are direct reflections of this. For this, they remain my heros because they are truely faithful. I, however, cannot say the same. I am not Wicca, but I'm not entirely Christian either. I lean much more to sympathetic shamanic practices.

So given that I love my parents to death I do my best over the phone to console them to my interests. The thing that got me is this: Her entire time talking to me was indicative of pity, confusion, and almost like she was talking to a mentally handicapped person. By this I am offended. At least it would have been better if she had gotten angry. Or at least thats how it feels. Finally I had to go to class, so our conversation came to an end.

I was a mess. My Mother treated me as if I was a fool, and the worst feeling I have is of the guilt and dissapointment from them. Not knowing where else to turn, I began talking to my friends. What I quickly realized was this: Naturally I go to my friends that are involved in the occult arts for comfort, but what I soon found out was that none of them really understood me. They could give me instances of their coming out, but none of them had any real comfort to offer me outside their own experiences. Perhaps it's time to re-evaluate my friends.

Feeling more alone than ever I turned to magic. I layed down a tattered cloth that was my great grandmother's and placed a chalice filled with red grapes at the center, a bowl with some bread, and 4 crystals at each coroner of the cloth. I shut off the lights, and sat on the floor beginning to cry. I called out to a spirit I know too well, Nana, a spirit of a dead girl I've known for quite some time, and actually helped her move on at one point. I felt the rush of saddness and unleashed my feelings onto the makeshift altar and she gained presence immediately. This was amazing for me, to be able to accomplish something on emotional baggage alone. She consoled me like no one else could. For this I am truely thankful for the spirit guides I have.

This all happened just today, and I feel that this is a huge step in my spiritual growth, and also helped me to realize the importance of the spirits you call friend. The battle rages on with my parents, and I hope that soon they will be able to accept me as I am.

Just wanted to share this story. Thanks for reading!

Tags: broom, closet, dead, guides, spirit, summoning

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Permalink Reply by Alaina on April 12, 2012 at 12:31am

I'm sorry that you are having a hard time with this right now. I know how you feel. I went through a similar experience, except my parents found out as I was first establishing myself in witchcraft and learning. I was 15 when my mom found a book of spells in my room. Being Christians, they overreacted as well, since their beliefs are very against anything occult related. They unfortunately cleared my room out one day as I was in school and got rid of everything I had that was occult-ish. I tried to hide everything in a trunk locker I had, but they found my key and hacked into it. They were appalled and treated me like I was evil and needed help. They put me in a strict private Christian school and took the lock off my bedroom door. I felt so alone and isolated. I couldn't own anything metaphysical related--even my crystal/rock collection that I started collecting when I was 8. I couldn't really rebel, so I internalized everything. Not recommended.

I basically pretended that I was a Christian until I moved out of the house at 19, and once I lived on my own, I knew I could really be me for once. I came out of the broom closet to everyone around me, lost a lot of friends but made some new ones, and though they knew, I never mentioned it to them. They started being somewhat ok with it, not approving but not saying anything against it either. I think they finally realized that this is what I believe in, its my path, and that they couldn't stop me from following it. My grandmother even bought me a night shirt that said 'witch and famous' on it with a picture of a witch on her broom. It threw me for a loop, but I knew it was her way of saying she accepts me for who I am.

Stay strong Mordechai. Hold your ground. No matter what they say to you, or how hard they try to take you away from it, show them that by doing that you will only hold on tighter. It may take them some time, but hopefully one day they will realize that they can accept you and everything that comes with you. Keep the conversation open with them, and explain to them about everything you believe in, good and bad. Maybe by educating them on this topic they will have a better understanding of it instead of fear and ignorance.

Permalink Reply by Kari on April 14, 2012 at 9:33pm

Thank you for sharing! I too have been consoled and strengthen by my spirt guides when my earthly ties were at odds with me.

It might take them time, and education to understand...if they ever do. I was raised Christian and gradually let my parents know my shift to paganism and witchcraft. I focus on explaining that I see God's work in all of nature, I have been guided by my guardian angel and I have not renounced my relationship with Jesus, but I have relationships with additional deities also that all teach me about love and helpfulness. I suppose anything that relates to Christianity and doesn't counter it is good common ground.

My parents were happiest to know that I was still on a path of honor and love over all and that I had not rebelled against the majority of virtues that were taught to me. Even within Christianity there are different belief systems and interpretations. I hope they are respectful of your path :)

Permalink Reply by Bella on April 15, 2012 at 2:57pm

I dont know why so many have to judge....but they do and it makes these kindsof things unbearable. Sorry this is so hard for you. Good luck with this...

Permalink Reply by Thyella Mahdokht on April 15, 2012 at 5:55pm

I am so sorry you are going through this just the other day I was talking to my mom about some thing that happened in the past. And she told me that didn't really happen that its just my one of my false memories, she was surprised when I told her that was offensive.

Good luck on your talk I'm sure you will do we'll just give them some time and stay calm every thing will turn out okay in the long run. Just remember that

Permalink Reply by Celticlass...FAERIE QUEEN on April 15, 2012 at 7:07pm

TRUST in YOU and YOUR POWERS THAT BE.........Magick is a powerful thing and empowers those that embrace it....YOUR folks love you and being YOU,is power in itself....How you carry yourself,believe in yourself and show yourself to the World with dignity and honor speaks volumes.......THIS is not about being sorry,but embracing the challenge,moving forward,being true to YOU,setting an example,moving forward with passion and conviction......

Out of the Broom Closet

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