Pagan Sexuality
I've been here awhile, as many of you know. I've blogged and posted, chatted and discussed, and have generally attempted in my own struggling way to be a constructive member of this site which I love so well. And I've observed almost every thread of communication that goes on here.
That being said, I've been struck by a seeming polarization that involves those who are seemingly free in their sexual self-expression and those who, for lack of a better term, seem more "puritanical" and, yes, even fearful of that kind of creative expression. And so I ponder...
I did not grow up in an environment that encouraged sexual dialogue. My family was Baptist, Gods help me. When I reached the age that sexual feelings awakened in me, I had nowhere to turn to gain any understanding. When my parents discovered that my artistic expressions included sketching nudes they told me it was "dirty", "wrong", "sinful". And let's not even talk about masturbation, that was an issue that could tear any adolescent apart at the seams ("you've been in the shower almost an hour! get out, already!")
Well, I'm older now (obviously), and have had a great deal of time to sort out these issues. When, with relief, I discovered my Pagan core, it released much of the pent-up emotional stresses involving sex, and I've felt lighter in this regard as time goes on. I've seen more clearly each day that our sexuality is an innate and holy part of us, a Power that we use not only to continue our species, but to provide a link to the Divine in that self-abandonment that can be achieved in few other ways.
So it makes me shake my head in wonder as I see fellow-Pagans expressing opinions that, to me, echo the same puritanical repression of my Baptist upbringing. I won't judge, it's not my place. But I see that many of us still hold on to those crushing, limiting mindsets which were ingrained in our guilt-consciousness long ago.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not advocating an irresponsible mass orgy with no thought or care. We live in an age in which fear and repression, combined with the inevitable hedonistic backlash (remember the Balance, my fellow Druids!) has produced HIV, STD's, broken relationships and families, and consequences to many too mention that haunt and tarnish that which should be sacred and joyful.
But this isn't about the act of sex. It's about our sexuality, part of the core of our Being. When I see fingers pointed by members here who call others "indecent", "slutty", etc. it just brings back the pain of growing up in an environment that denied what is beautiful and bright within us.
And it's too early in the morning, and I talk too much lol. Any thoughts?
That being said, I've been struck by a seeming polarization that involves those who are seemingly free in their sexual self-expression and those who, for lack of a better term, seem more "puritanical" and, yes, even fearful of that kind of creative expression. And so I ponder...
I did not grow up in an environment that encouraged sexual dialogue. My family was Baptist, Gods help me. When I reached the age that sexual feelings awakened in me, I had nowhere to turn to gain any understanding. When my parents discovered that my artistic expressions included sketching nudes they told me it was "dirty", "wrong", "sinful". And let's not even talk about masturbation, that was an issue that could tear any adolescent apart at the seams ("you've been in the shower almost an hour! get out, already!")
Well, I'm older now (obviously), and have had a great deal of time to sort out these issues. When, with relief, I discovered my Pagan core, it released much of the pent-up emotional stresses involving sex, and I've felt lighter in this regard as time goes on. I've seen more clearly each day that our sexuality is an innate and holy part of us, a Power that we use not only to continue our species, but to provide a link to the Divine in that self-abandonment that can be achieved in few other ways.
So it makes me shake my head in wonder as I see fellow-Pagans expressing opinions that, to me, echo the same puritanical repression of my Baptist upbringing. I won't judge, it's not my place. But I see that many of us still hold on to those crushing, limiting mindsets which were ingrained in our guilt-consciousness long ago.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not advocating an irresponsible mass orgy with no thought or care. We live in an age in which fear and repression, combined with the inevitable hedonistic backlash (remember the Balance, my fellow Druids!) has produced HIV, STD's, broken relationships and families, and consequences to many too mention that haunt and tarnish that which should be sacred and joyful.
But this isn't about the act of sex. It's about our sexuality, part of the core of our Being. When I see fingers pointed by members here who call others "indecent", "slutty", etc. it just brings back the pain of growing up in an environment that denied what is beautiful and bright within us.
And it's too early in the morning, and I talk too much lol. Any thoughts?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Arachneh on -
So it makes me shake my head in wonder as I see fellow-Pagans expressing opinions that, to me, echo the same puritanical repression of my Baptist upbringing.
Perhaps you could post some other (general, non-attributed) examples . . . ?
Or is this focused on the item mentioned above? ;)
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Permalink Reply by Fionn oMurchu on -
When I see fingers pointed by members here who call others "indecent", "slutty", etc. it just brings back the pain of growing up in an environment that denied what is beautiful and bright within us.
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Permalink Reply by Arachneh on
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Fair enough.
Do you see any other behavior here as particularly puritanical?
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Permalink Reply by Fionn oMurchu on
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Well, I'm finally home from the office. Funny, I've posted so many discussions on meditation, ritual, the inspiration of Nature, and I've gotten three or four replies as they get relegated to the dusty archives. But I post one on sexuality and suddenly everyone answers! Draw what conclusions you may lol.
In answer to your question, no, no more than in any other societal group. But I've seen a few posts that made me want to initiate this discussion, to bring out a healthy exchange of ideas and to show the delightful variety of sexual opinion and belief to be found here. As I said, I do not judge, I only observe. And in the early morning I'm too much "between the worlds" to think before I write :)
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Permalink Reply by Scarlet on -
No fair name-calling...
I don't know if I would say that's a problem in the pagan community... that'a a problem in the general human community. There will always be some judgemental prick somewhere who doesn't get it...
-Scarlet
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Permalink Reply by Fionn oMurchu on
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You're absolutely correct, Love. The only thing that I find troubling is the shunning and hiding, and those who place judgements on those who do not. You make excellent points :)
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Permalink Reply by Fionn oMurchu on
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America has a history and legacy of sexual dysfunction, but it seems to stem more from its predominent religious beliefs more than anything else.
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Permalink Reply by Scarlet on
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I think everyone is entitled to their own views and practices on sex (within reason... I'm not talking practices harmful to others here)... hopefully those views don't hinder other peoples expression. I think perhaps that what some people might consider "puritanical" other people might view as "responsible"...
Sex can be a powerful thing. It holds a great amount of creative power, a lot of emotion and physical consequences and just like anything else that has that kind of power it deserves to be treated with respect and that power needs to be used with some amount of responsibility.
-Scarlet
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Permalink Reply by Fionn oMurchu on
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Of course, harming another (or oneself) is anathema. And note here I've been talking about expression of sexuality, not the sex act itself. Puritanical vs. responsible? Is it responsible to hide sexuality and fear to talk about it? Or judge what others do? That is the subject of my post, not how we individually conduct our sex lives.
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