Poll on porn issue will determine my fate

I am polling these results and will stay in or end my relationship on your decisions. I have a boyfriend of 3 months that I am very good too. I go beyond the call of duty with this guy. Here is the problem, the other day he came in and took something to the bedroom. A few minutes later he went back in the bedroom and brought something out and said he had me something. I thought "well finally" flowers or something, ya know. Anyway he proceeded to hand me the MILF addition of Playboy and told me that he only bought it because he saw a woman in there that he wanted me to cut my hair like hers. We are on a strict budget and this book was eleven bucks. I was so angry, that he could not even buy me a birthday present, but could by this book that I went off. He said I was over reacting, etc. Anyway I am not allowed to look at a Playgirl in his house, and he gets jealous over stupid stuff, but he thinks I am suppose to allow him to look at this book and J--- O--, and be fine with it. I have been so good to this man, I mean BACK WASHING good, and I feel what he done to me was so disrespectful and mean. I told him, that it was the book or me, and he took the book back, but is po'd about it. I am a kind forgiving person, but I feel in my heart he is a person not worthy of my love or trust. AM I OVER
REACTING. I will add that I have been very generous with my money toward him, and I have heard all about how he treated his ) and he will not even take me to a movie. I think I have my answer, but I want him to read you guy's responses. Help me. Forgive typing, I am still a little angry.

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Permalink Reply by Nordichedgewitch on February 4, 2009 at 7:48pm: You are not over reacting. The issue really isn't about porn. It is about priorities and adult relationships. He has a little growing up to do. He obviously doesn't repect you or he would never had asked you to change your appearance to fit his fantasy. Hope you respect yourself enough to not fall into a momma role with him and think you need to take care of him.
Let him wash his own back while you go to the movies with yourself or your other friends!; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Star_Glitter on February 4, 2009 at 7:52pm: I would dump this man. He sounds horrible & if you have only been together for three months and its this bad then its only going to get worse as time goes on. You deserve better than that.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Lilith Wolfstear on February 4, 2009 at 8:07pm: I have had so many exes like him that it's not even funny. They always start out so great, too. I wasted 7 1/2 years with the last one, and had two little girls with him (which is the reason why we were together for so long).

He forbade me from looking at porn, but had stuff to look at while yanking his little friend. Normally I am not opposed to things like that, but when rules are set for me it goes both ways.

Your boyfriend isn't a boyfriend, honey, he's now your jealous son. Best dump him on someone else while you can, before he becomes a permanent part of your couch, and you spend the rest of your life cleaning his messes.

By the way, vibrators work just as well as a man, and don't cost nearly as much in price or emotions. Ever heard of a toy breaking your heart?

(no offense guys, women can do the same to you, I know)

Like the saying goes, Men and women shouldn't live together. They should live next door to each other and visit when the need arises... I need a couch moved, they have an... itch they need scratched. *wink*

Good luck with this, I know it will be hard, but you seriously need to rid yourself of Romeo before you lose your sanity.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Sarah Starfire on February 19, 2009 at 1:02pm: By the way, vibrators work just as well as a man, and don't cost nearly as much in price or emotions. Ever heard of a toy breaking your heart?

Only by breaking down ;-); ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Siiri on February 4, 2009 at 8:24pm: If what you have said is true, and not exaggerated, I'd be out the door asap.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by bkyrdwtch on February 4, 2009 at 8:34pm: Dump him. I live in service to home and hearth but, my husband would never bring porn into this house. It's just a symptom of other issues.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Stacey on February 4, 2009 at 8:46pm: I have a few points that I would like clarification on. Did you make it seem like you would be his personal ATM, with no need for reimbursement? Have you made it seem as if you were his maid, as apposed to his girlfriend? I know it's not an intentional thing, but some of us(myself included) have this way of letting people walk all over us with out thinking "Oh, hey, this may screw me over in the long run". Yeah.... I used to do that a LOT, let me tell you. If that is the case, maybe he fell into the the "habit" of you taking care of him, and doesn't get that it's hurtful to you.

With respect, Stacey; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Brennach on February 4, 2009 at 8:48pm: What is it that YOU want? You already are being told what HE wants. I think that you need to decide what it is that you are wanting and whether or not you are likely to be getting it from this relationship. I would say that so far, you haven't been getting what you want and need, so are things likely to change in the near future? Is he invested enough in the relationship to want to change? Are you invested enough to want to change yourself? If you can honestly answer yes to both questions, then stay. Make the effort to change and allow him to make his own effort. If the answer to either of the questions is no, then you need to look at letting him go.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Char on February 4, 2009 at 9:06pm: This guy does not respect you... Dump him before you get too involved... It is better to be alone and happy than to be with someone who uses you to their own means and your happiness means nothing.... Believe me, I;m going though the disrespect thing myself right now.... Waiting on my tax rebate and I'm outta here!!! And i'm 48 years old.....; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Keeper of the Northern Fires on February 4, 2009 at 9:05pm: I have to agree with others and I can see that you have already made up your mind about this guy. I say it's time to draw the line and make a move for yourself. From what I read, this guy thinks of himself and no one else. Selfish, egotisical (spelling) and just down right not worthy of your love nor time. Take this as a learning lesson and apply it as something that you'll never let happen again. If he thinks that buying a Playboy and try pawn it off as "Hey, I like the style of hair on this MILF, I want you to do the same thing.", is a load of crap! In a relationship, it must be a two way street, it takes two to tango and if he beileves that it's his way or the highway, be sure to turn on the next exit! I've been married now for a year and I no longer look at Playboys, nor do I even watch Pornos, my wife gives me all of her and I'm very happy, why should he feel that you need to be someone else. Be strong and throw the jerk to the side along with his Playboy and go out on your own and do something that deals with you! You don't need a man in your life to make you happy, unless you choose to have one. Take your respect, loyality and show the world that you can do it on your own. Put him in his place and live life to the fullest. Let him play with his Milf and see how much warmth he gets at night with a mag.

your friend in Circle,

Keeper of the Northern Fires.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by mamiel on February 4, 2009 at 9:22pm: This isn't a porn problem at all, it's a disrespect problem. He didn't get you a birthday present? Dump him, honey.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Unity_Bliss on February 4, 2009 at 9:25pm: Erm... He would be flat on his ass for the whole deal. The porn issue isn't a problem, or shouldn't be anyway, or the fact he J----O--. It is human nature to enjoy looking at someone else from time to time. But with the fact that it is an issue if you have one as well... He has jealousy problems, then he needs to work on it, or move the hell along. Jealousy isn't a healthy emotion, no matter what anyone says. As for the haircut like a porn star, well... that is just kinda silly of him, if you guys are on tight budgets. If he is buying a book of MILF, then he should be taking you out to dinner once in a while, and a movie! Im sorry he screwed up so bad and didnt take into consideration about your birthday. You deserve better if he cant change. And by change, I mean redeem himself, and try to become a better person, and treat you with respect you deserve.

But what we (friends here) as a whole, shouldnt beable to tell you what is right or wrong in this, you should read what you wrote, you have your answer hunny. I wish you the best! xoxo; ▶ Reply to This