What Defines A Woman?
This is copied and pasted from my blog....please feel free to comment all you like!
What defines a woman in a man's life and his world? Is it her social standing? Is it her fertility? Is it her ability to wear a different hat every few seconds and yet still able to be herself?
I do not now nor have I ever believed that a woman should be a man's servant and bow down to him exclusively. There are men (and I'm not by no means saying every man is the same way so dudes please dont misunderstand me here) who are the most arrogant, superficial, stuck up, conceited (oh wait stuck up and conceited are remotely the same thing arent they?), LAZY, good for nothing, egotisical, chauvanistic sons o bitches in the freaking universe and they for whatever reason that just seems to elude me do not even realize it...
They merely go through life demanding however subtly that we wait on them hand and foot but do not ever ever lift a finger to help around the house. Just because a man works doesnt mean thats all there is to being a good husband or otherwise s/o. I learned that lesson a long time ago.
So again what defines a woman? Is it our ability as a for lack of a better term "goddess" in the bedroom? Oh gods for once guys remember we women are allowed to be and to get tired and it neednt be fatal for the sex life! Perhaps if you stopped buggin us for it we might be more inclined to go there! Dare I even add that rubbing stuff in our face isnt the way to go either....
What defines a woman? Is it our ability to juggle making dinner, helping other kids with homework, running a business, and changing diapers pretty much all at the same time and still MAKE the time to be all sweet and lovey dovey (I seem to never be in the mood for that) for the man? Is it our ability to leave the past in the past where it belongs (well not everyone tends to do this unfortunately)?
I for one do not want to be defined by any means by anything that a man wants me to be...and I'm saying this because I had to be defined by 2 men in particular as being perfect but I'm sorry I'm not and no one is. I certianly do not want to be someone's waitress! What defines a woman is not what a man would make her, but what she makes of herself outside and in!....I hope someone out there offers me a different opinion on this rather diverse topic.
What defines a woman in a man's life and his world? Is it her social standing? Is it her fertility? Is it her ability to wear a different hat every few seconds and yet still able to be herself?
I do not now nor have I ever believed that a woman should be a man's servant and bow down to him exclusively. There are men (and I'm not by no means saying every man is the same way so dudes please dont misunderstand me here) who are the most arrogant, superficial, stuck up, conceited (oh wait stuck up and conceited are remotely the same thing arent they?), LAZY, good for nothing, egotisical, chauvanistic sons o bitches in the freaking universe and they for whatever reason that just seems to elude me do not even realize it...
They merely go through life demanding however subtly that we wait on them hand and foot but do not ever ever lift a finger to help around the house. Just because a man works doesnt mean thats all there is to being a good husband or otherwise s/o. I learned that lesson a long time ago.
So again what defines a woman? Is it our ability as a for lack of a better term "goddess" in the bedroom? Oh gods for once guys remember we women are allowed to be and to get tired and it neednt be fatal for the sex life! Perhaps if you stopped buggin us for it we might be more inclined to go there! Dare I even add that rubbing stuff in our face isnt the way to go either....
What defines a woman? Is it our ability to juggle making dinner, helping other kids with homework, running a business, and changing diapers pretty much all at the same time and still MAKE the time to be all sweet and lovey dovey (I seem to never be in the mood for that) for the man? Is it our ability to leave the past in the past where it belongs (well not everyone tends to do this unfortunately)?
I for one do not want to be defined by any means by anything that a man wants me to be...and I'm saying this because I had to be defined by 2 men in particular as being perfect but I'm sorry I'm not and no one is. I certianly do not want to be someone's waitress! What defines a woman is not what a man would make her, but what she makes of herself outside and in!....I hope someone out there offers me a different opinion on this rather diverse topic.
Replies to This Discussion
-
Permalink Reply by Ananta Androscoggin on -
I think that what you're describing is a necessary component of the Dominator Culture in order for it to continue functioning. While there's a pecking order of males by status (who dominates whom) outside the home, even the guy on the bottom rung can still go home at the end of the day and enforce "every man's a king in his own castle" on his chattel property.
Part of the cost of the Dominator Ethic: "Dominate at all costs, or be dominated." Of course, the cost is taken out of the well-being of the wives, children, pets, and neighbors by these mighty rulers, in the name of "sacrifice anything but me."
-
Permalink Reply by morgaine1571 on -
yanno, oddly enough this came from a catholic couple, but yet,, marriage is made up of two people, its not 50% this spouse and %that spouse.. its 100% +100% = a marriage.
theres no I in a relation ship.. its both giving and both recieving and striving to make it work.
-
Permalink Reply by PamWiccan on -
For every good woman their is a man and for every good man there is a woman. As morgaine states it takes two to make it and two to break it.
BB
-
Permalink Reply by morgaine1571 on
-
wha???????????
-
Permalink Reply by Ananta Androscoggin on
-
scene in "DOGMA" in the smaller bar
where Sema Hyack's character showed how she lacked definition.
-
Permalink Reply by AlanHeartsong on -
Awww, and I was gonna say "Bewbies!"
-
Permalink Reply by Celticlass...FAERIE QUEEN on -
That's it!!! You are too wise,JUSTIN!! way to go!!
-
Permalink Reply by Sara on -
People are people.
Women can be just as arrogant, controlling, physically abusive, lazy, egotistical, sexist, superficial, etc. as any man can be. Personality does not define what makes a woman and what makes a man.
Neither is gender an indicator in how they maintain their homes. I have known men to cook, clean, and run the household while their woman does nothing but sit on her ass, eat, and do whatever it is she wants.
Neither is sex drive. I know me some women who want to have relations often, more often than their men. Neither do positions, I personally know men, straight men, who know that taking it in the arse is not a sign of being gay (It's not what you do, it's who you like that does it to you that defines your sexuality).
I've known women to be strong, career minded, to run business, and do anything that a man can do. I know men who are gentle, sensitive, and can do anything a woman can do. Doesn't make her less of a woman, doesn't make him less of a man. It makes them who they are.
Culturally, we do have these mores bestowed upon us, women to be submissive delicate flowers, men to be strong dominant protectors. It's a strong pull, to be what people think we should be. It takes real strength to know who you are in your heart, and deny, defy, and live your truth, no matter what it is... even if it is part what people want us to be, or not.
That said, no one defines me. I am who I am, and I am not ashamed. If I could give a gift to the world, it would be that. I know too many people who hide or deny themselves because they fear what someone else thinks, all that really does is hurt themselves.
-
Permalink Reply by Silver Faerie on -
Well said Sara. I think you've covered every aspect beautifully here, and it certainly speaks of truth.
-
Permalink Reply by Rev Morgan on -
Everyone has covered every aspect in a variety of ways tha has given me new insights to this topic and I wanted to thank everyone for sharing their opinions! Blessed Be!
-
Permalink Reply by maryellen on -
I think what defines a woman in very personal not only to the woman herself but to the man in question. To start with first a woman must have some understanding of herself in order to be the woman that said man needs. And i say needs, which to the man may not be the woman he wants. And in todays world, a womans place is very different for everyone. Some are homemakers, some carreer women, some juggle both. I think to be a modern woman you must be able to realize that you can do any of the above, a nd probally more. Some men may brag that their woman is the better buisness woman they they are as a buisnessman, but secretly wish she was at home, barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, i know it sounds cliche, but its true. I think that the secret is that even though this old cliche has come around full circle what with stay at home dads, and full time working moms bringing in the bacon, is that most modern women can embrace that we could choose, if given the chance, economically wise and ect. So if your talent is in the home, being a resident chef, homemaker, wiper of snotty noses, and sexgoddess to the hubby, then so be it! Embrace it! I think that so many women get caught up in just trying to make their mark, get one up on the men, that we forget that in doing what comes natural to many of us gets ignored and downplayed. Being the power behind the throne is something to be proud of. And if youre the woman that can take control in the workplace or has no other choices but to get out there and earn a living to support your family, then more power to you as well, hopefully the man youre married to will respect your hardwork and brains, and not resent it. And to the women who juggle everything, work, motherhood, marriage/relationships, family, and what the hell is for dinner, you are glorified goddesses!! I myself am a stayat home mom, i never thought id see myself in this position, somedays i feel like a tattooed stepford wife, with a pie in the oven and toilet training a toddler, while keeping up with the bills, and keeping the hubby happy. But im good at it, and i love it, so i embrace my own definition of myself as a woman, im just ME.
Advertisers
Donate/Sponsor Paganspace
Any donations to help with the rising costs of maintaining PaganSpace are always greatly appreciated. Many Blessings to you.
PS Podcast & Radio
Pagan Friendly Podcasts & Radio Show Listings. Join Now or View Show SchedulesCool Sites & Links
