What do you do when you Religion is being used against you.

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Permalink Reply by bkyrdwtch on April 21, 2009 at 11:31am

Give him hell. You do have a lawyer, right? Make sure that your lawyer brings up specifics about your religon. Unfortunately, you are going to have to educate the judge on your belief. It's just one more jump for the community to hurl. Maybe if you look on witchvox you might be able to find one of us that is a lawyer. That way the lawyer will know what he is getting himself into.

If you loose talk to the ACLU. See if they can help you out if you feel that you were ruled against because of your religion.


If that doesn't work just give him the dark whammy.

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Permalink Reply by Spanish moss on April 21, 2009 at 11:40am

Thanks for the advice i will look into it I just dont think it is fair that he now wants to bring a social worker into my boyfriends home and family I think that is way out of line

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Permalink Reply by thymekeeper-aka-Debbi on April 21, 2009 at 11:45am

This may sound cruel and I don't mean it to be. If you were so willing to give him everything he wanted for the divorce he may view it as you find the children a hinderance to your lifestyle and he might be trying to protect them from future pain. I personally cannot imagine having my son for only 4 weeks a year.
I don't know the situation, but if you really want to be part of your kids life you need to show it by demanding more time with them. And talk to the kids. Adults seem to forget it's about the kids best interest. Let them have a say.

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Permalink Reply by Spanish moss on April 21, 2009 at 12:14pm

The situation is difficult and giving him every thing was to protect the kids as I did not want to up root them and upset thiere school friends and home thats why he got the house and every thing. I have been fighting for them but he is just so dominearing and has a way of turning things around and using it against me. The more time thing is hard as we are now living in different parts of the contry. Honestly thank though all comments are helpful and will hopefully help me think things over.

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Permalink Reply by thymekeeper-aka-Debbi on April 21, 2009 at 12:41pm

Now that I have more info I can give better advice. Write down everything. If possible record conversations you have with him ( legally, you will have to tell him you are recording the conversations) Do you pay him child support? keep receipts of all payments. Request to have custody of the kids for all school vacations. That should give you about 4 months total. Show the positive aspects of what your beliefs do for society, (recycling, cleaner air, healthier eating habits etc) Show the judge or guardain ad litem that you are a loving and caring individual that is sacrificing your own happiness for your childrens' well being. Give a good reason why you are not in the same state. Finances and job transfer are viewed better than needing a change of scenery. Do you have family where you are now? Use them. Get letters from friends and relatives describing your relationship with the kids (yes, get letters from his friends too if you can). Don't play the bitch card. Don't try to make him look like the bad guy, if he's as manipulating as you say he will just hurt himself in the long run. Pointing fingers just makes you look bad. And this may sound terrible, but you might want to cool things with the boyfriend for a while. It won't look good for you to still be going through a divorce and have another man in your life. Courts don't care about the reasons, they view it as infidelity. After the divorce is final let your boyfriend court you and build a relationship slowly. It has it's personal benefits. If you live together, adjust the living arrangements to that of roommates for now.

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Permalink Reply by Lady Azaria on April 22, 2009 at 9:35am

It just depends on that particular states divorce Laws..My state has a "No Fault" divorce law. As long as you are providing for the children, financially emotionally and physically, I don't think it is going to matter to the court that you are living with another man, for whatever reason. I do agree with recording conversations if you can, saving receipts, and write down everything, with dates, what was said, who said it. Judges like it when you are prepared. It makes things easier for them. They aren't interested in accusations. They want facts. Be honest and give them as many as possible. Be straightforward and you will be fine. I can say, that I was lucky in my divorce with my ex. Other then some child support issues at the beginning, we agreed to everything, thinking only of our children's welfare. It made things a lot easier and our Judge was very impressed. I hope you all the luck and just hang in there for your kids sake if anything. They are the most important thing right now!

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Permalink Reply by ShadowDancer on July 5, 2009 at 9:16am

In TX as long as one person on phone knows it being recorded you dont have to disclose that information.

Call your local police dept and his to find out.

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Permalink Reply by moni on April 21, 2009 at 12:37pm

Get a damn good attorney, and fight!!

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Permalink Reply by Silver Tree on April 21, 2009 at 1:13pm

Please PLEASE hire an attorney who specializes in divorce. One party using the other's religion or lifestyle against them is not unique to pagans.

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Permalink Reply by Valerie Farabee on April 21, 2009 at 1:41pm

You have the same rights as any Christian or Jew(I hope it's ok to call them that...) or Catholic or anyone else in this country. You must be a bigger woman than me to be able to give up your kids, especially to some man who's being a butt to you. But legally you do still have the same rights as anyone else. Use them. Good luck!

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Permalink Reply by SalixKat on April 21, 2009 at 3:39pm

Are you going to be living with your boyfriend? If so, then if the children would be staying in that house when they were with you, it's completely appropriate for a social worker of some sort (Guardian Ad Litem, etc.) to make sure the house is an appropriate environment for the children to be exposed to.

As far as the religious part...the other posters are right. It shouldn't be able to be used against you in court, but you're likely to have to show the judge that it's not something that's likely to be harmful to the children.

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Permalink Reply by John on April 21, 2009 at 3:51pm

I've heard of courts removing children from Pagan homes before in divorce cases. The best advice I've heard so far is get a lawyer. Kids have more resiliency than you give them credit for. All they want is a loving environment to grow in, and if Mom and Dad can't provide that together, then they adapt pretty damn quickly when the situation improves. Hell, if it were me, I'd not only want the kids, and the house, I' demand he get every other weekend and some summer vacation time......

I'm a cop.... and gods know I'm not trying to sound like one, but are you sure there isn't more to this than you're telling? Please don't feel the need to respond; you don't need to divulge personal information, but can you see that if I'm thinking it, a judge just might too?

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