Women without children: Your thoughts

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Permalink Reply by Ritalin-Bunny on October 24, 2012 at 6:14am

Procreation seems to be hardwired into our planets life path. We've been able to intellectualize the passage, even make attempts to manage our growth but the need to breed is pretty strong even for us, the thinkers.

What do I think of women who don't have children? Personally I think they're lucky, but that from an outside observation. They may feel completely shattered, frustrated, even suicidal.

Children suck the life out of their parents, literally. It's a weird trip for everyone involved in child rearing, even the kids. The thing is we've really no other viable way of repopulating. So it's all best guess, word of mouth experience, custom, tradition, and the mighty mighty collective of judgement.

Yep, lucky I say; but that may not be a popular opinion.

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Permalink Reply by mugs on October 24, 2012 at 6:39am

Coming from a generation that once married you where expected to have a baby within a year of being married.....it felt forced upon us this entire idea of bearing children.  With that said my girlfriend decided not to have children where I did.  She regretted her decision but only when she got old, as she did not have a "family" to help her or to take care of her.  However today children seldom take care of their elders, we go to senior housing, or other types of facilities and having a child for that reason is rediculous.

Having children is a choice one has to make for themselves.  Being a parent is not for everyone. 

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Permalink Reply by Party Pooper on October 24, 2012 at 10:44pm

You are absolutely right. Not everyone should be a parent. Totally agree. I'm sure there are many people who could agree that there are many parents in the world who don't do any basic nurturing or general parental responsiblities and their children suffer greatly from it. These people should have made the choice to been removed from the gene pool.

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Permalink Reply by Amethyst Samia on October 24, 2012 at 7:39am

Society, religion, family all seem to have this big urge to tell women they should be having babies. I was pushed when I first got married by his family...and I politely told them that was ul to us and no one else. I ultimately did have a child...though never intended to...just oops. Like RB said...they suck the life out of you...and your bank account. However, my son has enriched my life more than I could have ever imagined. Of course had I never had him I would never know that.

Do what you want...live life on your terms. It is, after all, YOUR life.

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Permalink Reply by Amethyst Samia on October 24, 2012 at 7:45am

Funny story I forgot...when I was younger and working in the job I retired from, I worked in an office full of men, and one feminazi female. She was young as well. She was moving a rather large box of chert samples...quite heavy...and one of the guys told her to put that box down, she needed to save her back for having children. She was so pissed! I laughed.

The guys used to call her a broad just to piss her off. They called me that a few times and I just ignored it and they went away. She never understood no matter how much I told her to ignore it and it would stop. Highly inappropriate...but they were easily silenced by, um, well, silence.

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Permalink Reply by Party Pooper on October 24, 2012 at 10:35pm

I have a feeling these guys ended up in the HR department if not often.

I was at a courner mart buying some goodies when the lady started the conversation with: "How come I never see you with any kids?"
Shocked, I replied: "Ummmm because I don't have any."
She looked at me like I had turned into a turnip and said: "Why do you hate kids?"
I was pissed off at this point and said: "I don't hate kids, I just made the choice not to have them and I can't afford them."
She looked at me and: "Ohhhhhhhh."

Yeah lady...."Ohhhhh"....*bangs head on wall*

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Permalink Reply by Amethyst Samia on October 24, 2012 at 11:38pm

Hahaha! No they didn't end up in HR...tho they probably should've. I knew they truly meant no harm and were just trying to annoy the both of us so I didn't let them. Kinda like trolls...the more you feed them they worse they are.

For some reason people do think we must have children. Because as women we can breed, when we must do so. Bullshit. Once you have kids, people seem to think the have the right to tell you how to raise them too. *facepalm*

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SponsorPermalink Reply by Fen on October 24, 2012 at 8:29am

This reminds me of something that happened to me a long time ago...I was working as a receptionist in a busy office.  People coming into the business would be greeted by me first and take a seat until I could get them where they needed to go.  One man was particularly talkative.  He began asking me questions about how I handle my days work between here and home and that I'm proabably such a good mom at home, etc.  I told him I didnt have any children.  He just smiled at me and said "Every woman is a mom".  Of course those words stayed with me, and he was right.  I nourish alot of things, my animals, my garden, I am always helping my brothers and sisters.  I was never able to have children but I do have things around me that depend on my love and care.... 

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Permalink Reply by Party Pooper on October 24, 2012 at 10:24pm

It sounds like this person put his foot in his mouth. I don't think I would have agreed with his comment that "every woman is a mom" but rather any woman can be nurturing to that which she cares about. However, I do understand your perspective and I respect that.

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Permalink Reply by Lilitu Xoc on October 24, 2012 at 8:38am

It seems as though society looks down on independent women who do things for themselves and decide to wait or don't have any children. Most of the time I don't encounter much reactions, but since living on my own when I do need assistance I am met with more resistance than anyone with children has. There is not much for women like me, for all the talk America does about women, they sure treat them badly when they are on their own supporting themselves. I think it's not only a child factor, but a sex one as well. Men are expected to lead domineering lives where they are independent and financially stable. Women on the other hand are supposed to or allowed to be more dependent on their families and parents than men are.

The reasons I never had children was because A) I used protection when having sex and B) chronic health problem that lives me infertile atm. It also makes me fat, hairy, and ugly.

I've encountered a few people who couldn't believe that I didn't have any children because I work fairly well with them.

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Permalink Reply by Party Pooper on October 24, 2012 at 10:18pm

I think you made some interesting points about how men are expected to live indepenently and financially stable and women are suppose to be allowed to be dependent on their family or parents.

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Permalink Reply by Lilitu Xoc on October 25, 2012 at 1:38am

People don't say they live by those old standards per se, where a woman was to be married off to a man for a dowry price not of her choice, but that mentality lingers. We've only just made marriage about love, but it was never originally intended as such.

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