I don't know if this is actual astral projection or something similar. I haven't really read anything about the subject before I came to these forums since I've been quite happy doing my thing on my own for a very long time.
I've always been a little embarrased to discuss this with anyone, infact i've never discussed it with anyone before now. I always thought people would think i'm mad.
it seems there are a lot of people here with experiences so I'm happy to be open and share.
Initially it started as a kind of meditation upon my own aura, a visualisation of my own spirit.
It began as a light inside me around the age of 15 that I focussed on. I was suffering nightmares heavily at this time and had just started to train in martial arts. As I progressed in Taekwondo I became more familiar with the parameters of my body, the weight of myself and a confidence in my own form. This helped me in my nightmares as I found I was able to do things I had not before. I believe the who we are in dreams is not all that different to the astral projection. I'm not sure what others views on this are but there seems to be as much link between the dreamself and the astralself as there is between the astralself and the human.
As time went on the inner light developed more of a heat and weight to it. I would practice moving my hands around with my eyes closed and collecting what I had read about as chi in martial arts books about meditation. Forming a ball with swooping collective movements and feeling it's pressure and raised temperature infront of myself. I had a friend once who I did this infront of and he put his hands between my hands and looked at me in shock declaring that the air between my hands was really warm. I did not know what to do when I had finished so I would always push my hands down into my stomach area as if to absorb the collected chi. It used to fill me with a great calmness and a similar mental gratification as eating a big hearty meal.
This was all just my own ideas and no one had actually taught me to do this. This exercise somehow developed until eventually the aura I felt was like an all encompassing flame writhing all over my body. I would perform the chi collecting excercise and gather the ball and then rotate my hands repeatedly compressing and compressing it until I could almost hear a sound like glass cutting inside my mind. At times it almost felt like I had something magnetic between my hands that I not only could not squeeze any harder but I could not pull my hands away from.
I'd then relax in position sometimes for over and hour with my eyes closed, in a wide stance with the ball held central infront of myself. I could see myself and blue light whipping like flames or some such over my body.
I don't know why but when I was like this I was completely calm and relaxed and could forget myself and stand without concentrating for a very long time.
By the time I was at this stage I was nearly 18 and had found my first love. For some reason one day she was all I could think of as I did this and I just literally stepped out of my form as this sort of blueish image of myself. I was covered in what looks like these blue vapourous flames the kind of flames you get if you burn a little methelated spirit in a dish, if you get me. Whispy and light. it's almost as if the tracing of your form is in the flames somewhere. I don't know if this is how others have projected.
I literally floaty walked the entire way to her house and into her room. I say walked cos that's what I did but I didn't really need to. I find I can swoop along when projected normally. It was amasing none the less. I watched her sleep for a while in a "totally non creepy way...." But then I was disturbed. I felt a strange nightmarish sense of danger like something was very wrong. I found myself sort of gliding very very fast back to my body and when I got there there were some forms around me. My body that is. I did not like their presence at all and when they saw my projection a very yellow one began to attack me. This yellow form was much like me but glowed with a light like sunlight from within. Somehow the presences threatened my body and I fought with the yellow form fiercly. It was strange like fighting in a dream. The rules are kind of different, anyone who's fought anything in a nightmare would probably know what I mean. In the end I used a kind of nightmarish hysterical rage, like I use in my dreams to overcome my nightmares, to rend it apart and then sort of consume it inside my form. I felt the other presences leave and a strange sense like I couldn't breathe. My nightmares are a whole other subject that I won't go into but I definitly used what I had learned in them to fight this form.
I climbed back in my body and it was like getting into a wetsuit or giant body glove. I reached through from within and could feel my fingers and toes again first. Then my lungs filled as I could feel my body and my pelvis and then my head. I blinked a few times at the light of the lamp in the room and moved. My muscles were aching a lot since my body had been rigid and standing the whole time. It was wierd because the room suddenly felt a lot smaller when I opened my eyes. This is a common experience I have when I return.
It seems like a lot but i'm just going into detail with this story. All of this happened in maybe 15-20 minutes or so.
After this I learned to gather my chi, absorb it into myself and practiced whilst lying down in a more relaxed fashion on the bed.
Over the years the projection has gone from being blue and whispy to taking on a more colourless grey/black shade. I don't know if this is an aging thing and loosing the colourful vitality I had as a teenager. I don't feel as colourful anymore if that makes sense.
Nowadays I don't really project much. I play around with it but when I do it's like the form is much more detailed and very much how I look but quite morbid and dark around my features. I have looked at myself at the mirror by the front door before. My hair is missing for some reason too and my hands black and inky, more solid than the rest of me. Not sure if this is something to do with all the wing chun I do and the amount of training that goes into the hands and forearms.
I've had a lot of unique one off experiences over the years but one that really stood out was after my father in law died I had a very nasty and unique experience with red/black dirty streaked wolf/fox like creatures in absolute hoardes. I remember I could hear them which is the first time I had ever heard anything whilst projecting. I was in a very emotionally confused and weak place at that point in time and hadn't slept for 3 days. I was trying to finally sleep and was kind of unable to but ended up in that strange place between dream and conciousness. I remember lying on the bed in the dark next to my son and I could see the whole room as if it was lit when actually it was totally dark. It was very dream like and I got up and walked out and down to the street outside for some reason. I couldn't even float or fly when I projected and I was very vulnerable in a way I hadn't been before. Spiritually exhausted is the best way I can describe it.
The creatures absolutely set upon me and I felt like some real damage was done somehow. I'm still not quite how I was when I project since that.
I remember my sister in law actually came in the room and it snapped me back as the light blinded my eyes from the corridor outside. I normally hate being snapped out of projection without climbing back into myself. I'm left feeling very detatched but this time I was grateful and relieved.
It turned out my wife had gone into labour with my second son.