I've never been able to control leaving my body. It's happened many times, though not for quite a few years. The experience was terrifying until I realized what was happening. Then it was sort of interesting. Unfortunately I never stayed out of my body long enough to really explore much. I always wind up being pushed in as violently as I was pulled out.
I really don't know how to describe what happens but I'll try.
For years I experienced this pins and needles sensation every once in a while. It was terrifying though. I felt as though I was being pulled in every direction, literally. Like I was expanding though I could firmly feel my body. It was almost like the pins and needles you feel when your foot falls asleep but more intense and not quite so physical. (told you...hard to explain).
This always happened at night and would usually wake me up. I wouldn't be able to move and it would be hard to feel myself breathing. I used to think I was under attack of some sort and would fight for control. Usually this would result in me punching the bed (or once my husband) and yelling NO as loud as I could.
One day I was talking to my husband about this and he suggested I go with it and see what was happening. He had this feeling that whatever was going on wasn't an attack. So, a few nights later when it happened again I resisted the urge to fight. I found that I was pulled through my feet out of my body.
I remember wandering around my home. It was strange because I could see 360 degrees around me. I was aware of everything. I remember seeing these cats wandering around my home, though I didn't have a cat at the time. I was, at that time, very close to Bast so I had figured She had something to do with it.
I was only out for a short while before I found myself flung into my body. I remember jumping up in bed and my heart beating wildly. I had trouble sleeping after that.
This has happened to me many times. Always I'm only out for a short while before being flung back into my body. It almost feels as though someone or something is pulling me out and then someone else is throwing me back in. That one time, though, was the only time I've seen cats. In other times it's always been other things I've seen. Mostly shadows moving about.
I've tried meditating on this and I've been told that part of the reason I have trouble doing it myself is that I hold myself back through fear. It's true. I'm very afraid. More than wanting to control this is wanting to understand it. I know me. Once I understand something, mystical or mundane, then it doesn't frighten me anymore.
If anyone has any insight I would love to hear it.
*hugs* and TIA
It is possible that you are being pulled into the astral realm by a god or entity, and I don't want to disregard that as a possibility. It is far more likely that you have an innate ability to project but your mind is not disciplined enough to handle and comprehend what is going on. The fear that you have is understandable, but it will stand in the way of you being able to project properly. My advice is to apply your mind to more meditation, both to clear your mind and to energize your energetic system. Astral travel while you sleep can be an intense experience and sometimes rewarding, but you should attempt to control your projection ability by projecting during meditation. This will make it so that you control the ability and the ability does not control you. Namaste▲