I can't BELIEVE it!!

So I was tucking my son into bed and we are about to talk to Goddess, as we do. He begins saying "Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the lord my soul..." Then he kinda drifted off into "Goddess bless my sleepy head." Which is part of what we say. My father knows full well that I am raising my son Pagan, and has apparently been saying this prayer with him when he spends the night at his house!! I am SO ANGRY!!

So, I have two options, confront my father, and get into a huge argument and he probably would still do it anyway, or act like nothing happened. My husband thinks I should take the later road, and just be sure that I am always talking to Goddess with him when he is here. (He only spend one night a week at my dad's house) I am so hurt. I knew that he disagreed with my beliefs, but when will I find out next, that he is taking him to church behind my back too? I am all for teaching my son about other religions, don't get me wrong, but he is only three, and I wold like to him to have a firm understanding of Paganism first, then worry about explaining all the different ones as he gets a little older.

Has anyone gone through this, or have any advice for me? Thank you!

Tags: parenting, prayer, religion-hyjacking

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Permalink Reply by Whisper on April 9, 2009 at 11:46pm: What's so wrong about your son knowing more than one religion at once now? They can handle more than one language now, my daughter knows 3, and she knows what language to speak to which person.
If you force anything on a child, they'll feel it. If you feel negative towards something and try to steer them away, you begin to close doors in his mind.
Your son will have a firm understanding of Paganism because you do. One night a week won't do anything because the majority of his time is spent on a Pagan path. By opening him up to other religions/beliefs now, you're teaching him tolerance.
Let go of your anger and find love in the situation.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by SalixKat on April 10, 2009 at 4:35am: I agree with Whisper.

If you get angry at your father, it's not going to help anything, and your son will feel the tension. Kids learn things at an amazing rate when they're that young. There's no reason that he can't learn about more than one religion NOW, and it'll actually probably be LESS confusing to him than if you wait.

Also, something to start thinking about now...when your son is old enough to choose his path, he MIGHT choose Christianity. Are you prepared for that, or will you get angry with your son and blame your father for it?; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Wickels on April 10, 2009 at 9:44am: Of course I would not be angry with my son, should he choose that path. As the rest of my family is Christian, it is fairly likely he will.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Wickels on October 17, 2009 at 4:27pm: Thanks a lot for your insight. Now Liam talks about "saying prayers" with my dad, and "Talking to Goddess" with me. He knows that they are different, but neither is bad. :-) Sometimes my emotions can get the best of me.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Atara Eve on April 17, 2009 at 8:13am: My son is 12 and he stays at my mother's house every now and again. Now i know that my mother says the lord's prayer with him because he told me. My mother raised me catholic until i was old enough to find a park and figure out my own path. When my son came home one day, he asked me why my mother makes him pray to a god he doesn't beleive and if she is pushing him into believing this faith. I told him that he must accept all religions and faiths as valid until he finds the one that fits him. He smirked and said "Well christianity isn't it!" I nodded and said that's fine but do NOT disrespect that faith. It has a right to be here as well as all the others. Understand it but you don't have to follow it. He has his own altar in his room and we prepare the sabbat altar at each Sabbat. He understands with respect and not hatred. I do not tell my mother to stop because that is her faith. I simply ask her not to push and let my son make his own decisions in his faith. He is a good boy and will choose wisely(According to his own will) if we guide him right. I have prepared myself for his choice what ever it may be because i have to be. Hope this helps....

Atara Eve; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Wickels on April 22, 2009 at 2:58pm: Thank you so much.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Lady Pathos on April 17, 2009 at 10:03am: I can understand. I have a 4 and 8 year old. My mother-in-law is STRONGLY Catholic though she wasn't that way when my husband was younger I suppose since she's so mean to everyone and all her sons hate her so much that she must make up for it by being a good Catholic... I'm not sure. What I do know is that she is constantly taking my children to church if she takes them for any amount of time which is our only break from the children and also due to cost issues I end up putting my kids in the YMCA summer camp because its much cheeper than the city ran one. I live in the south so you can imagine. My 8 yr old staring probably when she was 6 was coming home from grandmas or summer camp saying that everyone that didn't believe in Jesus was going to hell. She got rather confused because my husband and I aren't overly religious and we want our children to have full freedom of choice and didn't want to raise them in any tradition or faith. This seems to be folly on our part because it left room for outside influences to grab hold.
Stand your ground and if your father already knows your ground then have a talk with him. You don't have to be agressive in addressing the issue but try to find out why and what's going on. I wish you all the best of luck.
Also I have ran into more Catholics who have become Pagan than most other religions. It's an easy transition in my opinion so if you are willing (depending on your faith/beliefs) see where you might be flexable to intertwine things. There are many useful things in Catholism though we tend not to think of them and many other things that were pagan to begin with. (Catholism/Christianity/etc)
I wish you allthe best of luck; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by SilverSeraphim on April 18, 2009 at 4:06pm: I'm of the "avoid drama with the family" school of thought myself, in large part because there is just nothing I can say or do that would get my parents to at the very least respect the fact that I have made some different choices from them.

Perhaps teaching your son a neutral prayer, and asking your father to stick with that because switching prayers around gets him confused? Or at the very least, maybe try telling your dad that you're not comfortable with your son reciting such a morbid prayer. "Now I Lay Me", being a relic of the Victorian Era, when child mortality was high, doesn't really seem appropriate in this time when medicine has advanced so far and most of those diseases have been wiped out.

Just a couple of thoughts.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Camille Maxwell on April 20, 2009 at 3:11pm: I have a three year old daughter, and I know what you are going through.. I think you should let him go ahead and say the lords prayer while at the other home. and then do your prayer at your home.. That way, he will KNOW them both, it does help in today's society(even with them at such a young age) to know some of the Christian things so that others don't look down on them, when he reaches about 5 he will ask you why he says different prayers, and when he asks you that question, you can start explaining it to him.. hope this helps.

Camille; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by migizi on April 25, 2009 at 5:46pm: Well my thought on this is, I too would be angry with my father going behind my back intentionally and teaching MY child things I would rather wait on teaching. It's not about what he is teaching your child it's the deceptive part that gets me. So essentially he is teaching your child it's ok to go behind moms back and do things she doesn't approve of. Like drinking, drugs,stealing the car. I know that's not for a while but the time comes quickly believe me I'm a mother of an 18. It seems like yesterday that I had her. So when your not so angry, pull your dad aside and tell him how you feel. If you don't want him to teach your child christianity right now then he needs to respect your wishes. And if he can't then it will be up to you weather or not you send your son to his house once a week. I wish you luck my sister. BB to you and your family.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Panda love on September 16, 2009 at 4:14pm: i understand your anger, i dont have kids yet but my mom has all ready told me that when i do have kids and there at her house she is ganna take them to church and tell them how mommy is ganna burn in hell because she is evil; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Adrienne Arrington on September 16, 2009 at 8:10pm: Take a breath first before you do anything.

My daughter says a prayer before lunch at her day care, and if she spends the night at my parents house I pack church clothes for her because they take her. When she is with me we sing all the pagan songs we know. Remember that right now he's only going to know you are angry at grandpa and not really understand why. It's not a big deal which prayer he says as long as you teach him to be respectful, compassionate and grateful. 80% of christianity and Paganism are the same in that respect. stress that part and your son will be fine. besides when someone else says anything he will know that he is loved by his whole family regardless of whatever title their religon is.; ▶ Reply to This