First I’d like to say that English is not my mother tongue and sorry in advance for some mistakes.
It all began more than 20 years ago, I was about 28 years-old, I guess. I remember it was Saturday afternoon I was taking a nap in my room and my husband and my 2 years-old daughter were in the living room. Suddenly I was awake, eyes opened but I couldn’t move. I remember very clear the feeling, I was completely scared as if I was dying, as if I was already dead and no one but me knew that I was still alive. I tried to speak, to scream, to lift my arm but nothing happened. I saw my room, my bed, the door, everything and then I heard my daughter trying to come in and my husband calling her, ‘come here sweetie, let mommy sleep’. I tried desperately to scream for help but nothing came out of my mouth. I started to pray and to ask for some divine help. It took some time until my body finally woke up. I was disturbed and scared the whole day. I told my husband and he listened to me but he was sure there would have a good scientific explanation for that. A few days later I told my mother what happened and she told me to pray more.
Then, it happened once again many years later, I think 10 years later or more, exactly the same way. This time it was short before I wake up one morning. My husband had already left for work, the children were at school. It happened the same way. My mind was awake I could see the room but I couldn’t move. I prayed again and again and after some time my body woke up.
I’m from South America and in 2010 I moved to Europe and since then it happened four times, but different from before. The first time I was awake I could see my room I couldn’t move but this time I felt a presence over me, like floating over me. Someone was caressing my breasts, gently but firm and I was totally terrified, petrified. I tried to do whatever I could to get out of it but nothing happened. I looked and looked and I couldn’t see anything, nobody was there but I was still being touched. I thought oh my God what’s happening, I was sure I was dreaming and I wanted to wake up. Then the second time one year later in August 2013 just the same way, nothing different.
Well, a few months later on Dec 11th 2013 it occurred again but this third time I was not scared anymore, I just refused to be touched and I did all I could to move my arm and push whatever it was away from me. I felt really courageous and suddenly I was able to move myself again and then it was a real fight because whatever/whoever it was was much more stronger and “he” was decided to have sex with me. “He” grabbed my hips, pulled me down, held my wrists on the bed above my head and kept touching my breasts; although I couldn’t see “him” I felt the penetration; in a strange way, I must say, because I didn’t feel it quite physically but I knew “he” was inside of me, coming and going. It didn’t hurt me or anything but it all happened in a firmly way. There are many more details but I don’t feel comfortable at all to tell them here. So this “fight” lasted some time and I was getting exhausted and really excited as well, so I decided to give up fighting and accept “him”. Well now comes the odd part. In the middle of the act the whole thing was interrupted by some voices and knocking that came from outside the room; at this moment I felt “he” lifting me up, holding me on the air and putting me down, pushing me toward the door. When I opened the door the first face I saw was my mother’s who died more than 10 years ago. She entered my room really angry asking me what all that noise was and looking around the room. At this moment I woke up.
After this event I ran to Internet and tried to find out all I could about it and found this Website. I know now that many people have also same experiences.
No need to say that I took months thinking of it and almost yearning for it to happen again. So, I told a good friend about it and at first she said it would be a good thing, as if this thing was trying to teach me something about sex, she even joked and called “him” my "ghost lover". But then she talked to another friend who seems to understand about spiritual things and then she told me to avoid it, that I could not permit it anymore (as if it were easy) because it could be dangerous for me since it would drain my energy.
After this conversation with my friend I tried to forget the whole thing and told myself it would not happen again. But then early this morning, more than a year later, it happened again.
I was half awake half asleep I think and first I heard my daughter’s voice calling me in her usual way “mom?”, as if she wanted to know if I was awake. In my brain I knew it was not she, it was only my imagination since she lives in another city. I don’t know how long it took until I heard a characteristic noise of someone getting up out of the office chair I have in my room. It was really very clear, the sound I mean. So, in this moment I felt kind of an imminent danger, a fear and tried to pull out the blanket to immediately get up but something stopped me and pulled me back. A huge force kept me on the bed and then I felt “him” once again over me and how “he” pushed my thighs apart with “his” legs. I looked and looked and saw nothing. I realize now it was absolutely not violent; it was only very firm, with no chance of refusal. I tried to fight it because I remembered what my friend said; then “he” took my own finger and led it to between my legs as at the same time “he” started to make me an oral sex. It was so real! I felt not only the oral sex but also very clearly my finger being sucked together.
Differently from the other time I felt no penetration yet I know it manipulated me with its hands and mouth.
I’ve read many things in many websites about these encounters and many people report they felt drained after the experience or violated or even bruised but not me. After the events I felt absolutely normal, active and healthy as usual.
I read also your comments Dreamwalker about Inccubus but I still can’t understand what these entities are and what they want. I feel I’m starting to enjoy it but this friend told me it is not good for me. I have so many doubts and I want to know what is really happening to me:
- Was it a dream or was I awake? It all happened to my physical or to my etheric body?
- Was it really an Inccubus encounter?
- Or was it some psychological event my mind created based on my weaknesses and problems?
- If it had a message for me, what is it and why it had to do with sex?
- It is going to happen again? Can I enjoy it or is it really bad for me?
- Will it drain my energy? If it is, how can I avoid it?
So many questions, I know, but I really want to understand what it is.
You had a true incubus experience. which is a variety of a sleep paralysis experience. As long as you experience fear, it means that you are resisting the empowering effect of the entity attached to you. The enitity is totally benevolent, and its only mission is to help you empower yourself. In cases of incubus experiences, the entity is trying to help you become more expansive sexually. It is trying to get you to open your mind and your life to broader horizons concerning your sexual fulfillment. The Universe is extremely sex-positive, and does not share our earth-bound notions of sexual morality in the least.
And nonphysical entities do not drain you of your energy. That is nonsense.
I will use my Emerald Oracle to delvefurther into these experiences. My Emerald Oracle consists of 867 units of information, as opposed to 78 for the tarot.
221. You must choose what seems to be the easiest and most rewarding.
163. You adopt more enlightened values.
483. You smooth something over.
518. Something does not work out as well as you were expecting.
715. You succeed in this situation by being yielding and receptive.
286. You broaden your focus, become more inclusive.
278. You must not pretend that you do no want something when you really do.
395. You must not get bogged down in expectations of fidelity.
639. Something positive and healing from your past reemerges into your present.
50. Your path is the same, but one phase comes to an end and another phase begins.
133. Something works partially, has a partial effect.
493. There is enormous power in something.
Read this over a few times, and let it sink in through your pores, so to speak. Let me know if you have any questions.
Thank you so much for your reply.
Well, since I moved to Europe almost 5 years ago, my life changed a lot. Another country, another people, another language, habits, culture...
Recently, let's say a year ago, I experienced a kind of a gradually enlightment. Information about how the ultimate reality really is and works started to reach me and I decided to follow it and to study it more. At the moment, among other subjects, I'm reading a book about sexual energy and its spiritual power to see if I can understand it straight.
What you wrote, some things make totally sense for me but other don't. I will read them carefully.
I have one more question: if it happens again what should I do?
Thanks once again.
I will use my guidance oracle to answer your question about what to do.
You must harmonize your efforts with your innate aptitudes and predispositions. You need to get in better synchronization with yourself. When in better sync with yourself, you will be able to do things from your heart. Therefore, you must strive to heal and mend yourself in this way.
* * * *
You must be bold. You must well up within you the courage you need to do what needs to be done. You must be visionary, believe in yourself, and go for it. You must step beyond yourself. You might have some fears or doubts about this, but you need to go ahead with it anyway. You need to not only step beyond yourself, you need to step beyond what others have done too.
You must show your muscle. You must take control of something, and do what is necessary to change things more to your liking. You must stand up for yourself in a manner that makes others let you have your way. You must use force, intimidation, or whatever else is needed to accomplish what you want. You must tap into your inner strength, and put it to good use.
Any time you have additional questions, do not hesitate to let me know.