I have not discussed this w/ anyone in a very long time...
I do not know how old I was when the dreams began, only that I was not yet in school, so maybe age 3-4. The dreams stayed w/ me until I was about 24 years old. Here we go...
I would be having an ordinary dream...nothing spectacular or particularly frightening...nothing out of the ordinary...and then HE would COME...
HE is SOMETHING...I don't know what...but HE terrified me. HE (and I have no idea how I know it's a HE) has no discernable features. HE is a shadow...a shade. All I saw was a black shape. This is what I saw...a slightly built form...not all that tall, but taller than I was/am, curly hair...the sillouette (sp?) looked to have thick albeit short & fluffy curls. HE, of course, had arms & legs, but I could only see the shapes of them. This is all I ever saw.
HE would chase me, or float above me if I had fallen, or sit beside me in my dreams & he would laugh & shriek @ me. HE would tell me over & over *You're going to DIE!!!* And other things of a similar nature. I really doubt that this Being was my buddy, but who knows? I would always awaken covered in sweat, shaking & screaming. This happened frequently throughout my life, until my mid-20's. (I'm now 40)
He ceased bothering me about the same time as did the next experience that I will give you. He stopped bothering me when I began to study Witchcraft in earnest. I don't miss him, that's for sure!
In 2006, I was talking to a shaman who mentioned to me that this thing had something to do w/ my mother & her now defunct coven, which was familiar. When I asked what it had to do w/ Mom & my aunts, she couldn't or wouldn't say, just that it had something to do w/ them & that were I ever to have children, it may resurface to cause my children as much grief as it did me. Well...now I have a 9 m/o old daughter. And she has stopped sleeping at nights. She will go to sleep, but awakens in the night, staring straight up at the ceiling, just like I used to do & she screams like she is horrified. It could be the night terrors that drs say small children have. It could be anything. But I need to know if it's HIM, and if it is, I need to know WHAT he is & how to get rid of him for good. I do not wish such fear on my daughter, or on anyone.
So this is the first of two...and these are things I don't usually talk about to anyone. And here I am, posting them on the Web...but I need & want to know...
Whatever you can learn, I thank you. I've been hoping to find someone who could/would at least look into it...
The shade or shadow visiting you was a nonphysical entity who had attached itself to you for a while to help you in numerous ways. These entities have no physical appearance, as they are invisible fields of conscious energy. The way we perceive them depends totally on how receptive we are being to the ways they are trying to enable us to empower ourselves. When we are resisting their helpfulness in our daily lives, we will experience them as something frightening or demonic. But when we are open and receptive to their helpfulness in our lives, we will experience that very same entity as being quite angelic. In fact, that is where the concept of angels arose from, angelic images of these entities.
The person you were talking to about this did not know didley squat about what you were experiencing. Lots of people like to call themselves shamans, but that does not make one a shaman.
In dreams or visitations such as you describe, death symbols always mean transformation for the dreamer. A positive transformation. But since you were resistant to your entity's influence in your life, you interpreted that offer of helpfulness as a death threat. Actually, your entity has being trying to get across to you that is is there to help you transform your life to the better. These entities are for all practical purposes all-wise and limitlessly compassionate, but they are not all-powerful. The extent to which they can help us depends completely on how open we are to them, on how our vibrational frequencies are aligned with their vibrational frequencies.
If it were not for the existence of these helpful nonphysical entities, we would all still be living in caves, and I am deadly serious when I say that.
These entities sometimes stay with us all our lives, and sometimes for only a few years. It could be that when you stopped having those experiences, the reason was that your entity ally had left you. Another possibility is that one of the ways it was trying to influence you was to get you involved in mystical, magical things, and once you joined your coven, your adopting that witchy worldview had the effect of putting you into better alignment with your entity, and so you ceased experiencing it as something threatening.
The key words in all this is "resistance" and "receptivity." When you are open to their helpfulness in your life, you will experience these entities as being kind and warm and fuzzy. When you are resisting their helpfulness in your daily life, you will experience the same entity as being sinister and threatening. Therefore, it is your mind, not the entity, that determines how you experience it.
It seems as though your daughter is having similar experiences. I heartily recommend to you that you sit down with your daughter and explain this to her in the same exact way that I am explaining it to you. And every time she seems to have one of those experiences, explain it to her all over again. What you need to do is make her realize that it is her mind alone that is making her entity seem as though it is a sinister force in her life. As soon as she starts being open to it, that will be the permanent end to her frightening episodes.
Thank you for your insight. This is the best explaination I have received. I do not know how to help my daughter at this point as she is only now turning 9 months old. It will be awhile before I can communicate much to her in the way of explainations, but thinking along these lines will enable me to respond to her night terrors making sure that when I comfort her that I am absolutely calm in my own right. As she ages & becomes better able to understand me, and providing she does have a similar experience, I know better now how to explain to her how to handle such visitations.