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If you had to choose between a fake friend who does nothing but tell you what you want to hear, and a real friend who would tell you the truth rather you like it or not, which will you choose?

 

It sounds simple, right??? Pick the person who'll be honest with you.  But I noticed in life that people are either manipulators or manipulated.  And usually the honest person have very few friends.  In reality, honestly seems to take second place to a winning personality.  I mean, the most popular people in the world, are also the biggest liars in the world. 

 

I ran into a girl over the Internet, she was charming, warm, charismatic, etc.  Then one of her friends decided to attack me. and basically, what I noticed with these girls is that they LOVE to re-write history.  They LOVE to re-write what really happened to what flatters them the most.  Fortunately for me, when you write stuff on the Internet, most of the time, it's there for good. 

 

And as we stopped being friends, I learned that she was a habitual liar.  All she was, was a petty, dishonest, liar.  Now, a "friend" of mine is getting sucked into her world.  "Friend" because we've been enemies for over a year.  So, I pretty much don't care what happens to her.  The ONLY reason we decided to be "friends" is because we just didn't want for their to be any bad blood between us.  So, I was honest, told the person that these girls are liars, manipulators, and deceivers, but if she wants to be friends with them, then she could go knock herself out. 

 

But I don't understand people like her.  Like how you know your boyfriend's a cheat, but you still keep going back to him.  Because he says all the right words, and he knows how to suck you in.  Then when he cheats, it's "how could he do this to me???"  But it's like,"You KNEW he was a cheat before."  and I'm sick and tired of women being surprised when a cheater cheats on them.

 

Kinda like my knew friend.  She knows that these girls are liars, manipulators, and deceivers.  Yet, she wants to be friends with them.  You know, because she wants to make peace.  I could never, ever understand people like her.  I would rather be friends with an honest person.

 

And trust me.  I know all those bitches very well.  So, eventually, the dishonest fakes are eventually going to do something that is very nasty.  Then my "friend" is going to call them out on it and act all passive aggressive.  Then those girls are going to gang up on her and re-write history.  The "friend" is going to be EXTREMELY upset about them re-writing history.  She would probably try to send people to attack them or she would probably stalk them from website to website.  and that is why my new "friend" has been my enemy for a year.  It's also the reason why I keep writing "friend" in quotes.  Because the girl's a stalker. 

 

When really, she should blame herself for getting involved with people she knows to be liars and fakes.  But the same thing has happened to me in High School, I warned a girl and told her about C messing with her boyfriend.   But she decided to befriend the girl who was messing with her boyfriend. 

 

And the most annoying thing about women is how they are always shocked and surprised when they can't deny the truth anymore.  and I'm like,"Are you serious? I told you your boyfriend's a cheat.  I told you that girl was messing with your boyfriend. I told you that your new friends are fake.  I told you.  and you are shocked??? and hurt??? and highly upset???"

 

So, while it may seem like an EASY choice to pick a real friend over a fake friend.  a lot of times people choose the fake friend.  Or the cheating boyfriend.  Why?  They know what you want to hear.  They know how to flatter you.  They know how to suck you in. and it's easy to like a person who does nothing but tell you what you want to hear. But I would rather be friends with a person who'll tell me the truth whether I like it or not.  If I look horrible, don't tell me how cute I look.  You don't need to say,"You look horrible."  But you can say,"That lipstick doesn't suit you."  I mean, be honest with me.  But just be nice about it.  If my earrings look tacky, just say,"I don't like your earrings." 

 

But I guess in the real world, people would rather hear beautiful lies, then the ugly truth.  But damn, I wish those people would stop acting so surprised. 

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Replies to This Discussion

100% agreement. I'm an honest person and my circle of friends is small. I guess I'd rather be honest than popular.
I totally agree.  I would rather be honest, than popular.  I choose genuine solitude over being surrounded by a bunch of fakes that don't really care.  It's better to have only 2 friends that you know that you could trust.  Then 10-20 fake friends where you have to be fake back.
Evolutionary Psychology (Evo-Psycho) is proof that lying is an evolutionary survival mechanism and a selective advantage.

I must admit. Lying CAN be used for survival; however, it could also backfire when the truth comes out.   and what happens when the truth comes out???

 

If you are a fake friend, and you surround yourself with fake friends.  Then in the end, you could never fully trust your friends. You are stuck lying to your friends for your own protections.

 

And if you surround yourself with people that make you feel good, then you yourself could Never evolve.  You could surround yourself with people who tell you that you look good, when you don't.  and when everybody is staring and laughing at you, you wonder why. 

 

But if you hang around a person who'll tell you that you look terrible.  You are going to be angry, hurt, and pissed off.  But at least you'll be happy when everybody is giving you genuine and honest compliments on your clothes. and more people asking you out on dates.

 

In the end, flattery serves nothing but to hold you back.  How are you going to feel knowing how they really feel about you?

My mother loves to say: "Do you want my honest answer, or one that will make you feel good?" Does that answer your question?

Nope. You answered the question on a liar's p.o.v.  You didn't answer the question from the p.o.v. from the person who's been lied to.

 

And yes, lying can be used for protection.  But if you need to protect yourself from your friends, then....whoa.  I don't have to lie to protect myself from my friends.  I know that I could fully trust them with anything. and I know that they are my real friends and I know that they really, genuinely, like me.  Instead of liking me because they want something.  So, if you genuinely want to surround yourself with fake people.  That's you.

You wrote, " But I noticed in life that people are either manipulators or manipulated." Wow, is your Pisces ever showing! Admittedly, I sort of came to a similar conclusion years ago and I am a Pisces. Pisces, though, are often sweet talked and taken advantage of. They're by and large considered valuable friends as they're very supportive and because they can be manipulated because of their naivete, sentimentality and good hearts, not to mention extreme loyalty to those they love.

Finding a true friend, and/or a true friend in a lover, is the hope of every Pisces...

I still remember two different friends telling me just a few days apart, without knowing the other had said it (for they weren't each other's friends or in contact with one another) "You owe me your whole life." I was pretty dumbfounded by the statement: though it was part joke, they also rather meant it. And it was odd as if anything it was the other way around. (E.g., I had gotten one a great job at four times his previous wage, and supported him emotionally for years.) I was also dumbfounded by the synchronicity.

Yeah. I guess it's a Pisces thing because friendships are important to me.  When I love, I love with my whole heart.  and with certain people.  They would convince me that we are friends.  They would be so much FUN to talk to. and I would LOVE talking to those people.  But then, they would be like,"I'm not your friend.  I never cared about you.  I was just using you."  and it hurts when somebody means EVERYTHING to you and you mean NOTHING to them.  I just feel so hurt and I just want to cry.  But that's why I'm Pagan.  I guess that you could say that paganism has saved me.  I would read books and find a kindred soul in some of them.

 

One writer I like is Andrieh Vitimus.  I like his book Hands On Chaos Magic.  He talks in a way that I can relate to.  I also met some wonderful people at www.crunchyroll.com

I agree with you.....I would like "real honest people" for friends and that's probably why I don't have any...if I let some one know my situation and they turn around and back stab me for being honest and up front, I don't want any thing to do with them. Was in that type of situation too a year or so ago. Was invited out for a weekend, told the person UP FRONT what was going on with me (just recently moved to the area), and they said it would work itself out and there should be no problem.....come back home after the weekend and find out a day or two later, that she permenately (?) barred me from her online group and from ever emailing her.......she told me this in an email that she had sent me.....including that I was vindictive, manipulative and very "needy" over the weekend...........WTF!?! I guess I didn't need her as a friend any way just because I was up front with her. Besides I want to hear what people have to say to me about me to my face! I would rather be hurt with the truth than be blindsided with false friends
Yeah. I agree.  I want my friends to be up front to me about their feelings.  If they have a problem with me, they should just say it to my face.  But in the end, they both deserve each other.  Both of them are rotten people.   If she wants to be best friends with liars, then she could do knock herself out.

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