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Started this discussion. Last reply by Dark Ember 7 hours ago.



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Thanks for joining my I Ching Studies group. Please give me your regular e-mail address and I will attach to you your I Ching materials right away. Mine is: Nammackjames@yahoo.com.
XOXOXOXOX
Love ya, hunky!
Herne
Rather than delve pretentiously and abstractedly into the metaphysics of gender balance, I will speak from my own experience in the Pagan community, having seen it on both sides. There is a group of militant matriarchal Dianics where I live, and despite their being pretty roundly despised by most of the community the leader of the largest nondenominational Pagan group in the area has turned power of the group almost solely over to them in the past five years. I know one former member I used to dislike, because she was always bashing anything "masculine" or which appeared masculine to her. Later she left the group, we now get along quite well, and she confessed that her attitudes towards men were being influenced by her mistaken decision to live in a house with two of her ex husbands (that would be enough to make any woman hate men, I think! LOL). This group, as they are wont to do, had exploited her negative experiences with males to convince her that all males were bad, and when she got out of this group and started having a more balanced view she was clearly healthier, happier, and more vibrant for it. I watched this same group destroy a happy marriage by isolating the wife systematically from her husband and blaming him and all men for the patriarchal treatment she received growing up as a female in Hindu society. I was close enough to the situation to know just how deeply this cult had twisted her mind into believing that if her husband was not as passive and subservient as their own husbands were (those whom had husbands at least, whom they kept on invisible leashes) that she should divorce him over it, and in the end he regretted ever having brought her to this Pagan group in the first place, as I can attest quite well that before this she was very much happy and in love and so was he and they both treated each other like King and Queen. I have also been good friends with the son of one of the leaders of the group, and he hates how he is mistreated by her for being male and how her negative attitudes towards males affected his own sense of need for a positive masculine influence growing up. Any of this sound harmful or unhealthy to you? Sure as heck does me. I wish I could say it was just this one wacko group, either, but it's not, they're just the most organized and militant outpost of the man-haters in this area.
But lest I be accused of suggesting this is a one sided issue, I was one of the founding members of a male-focused group. We started off with such high ideals. We felt that, if the males in the community did not step up, we would have no right to complain about the matriarchal dominance in Paganism. We spoke of the need for balance in the community, of the need for a place for men to be strengthened as well. For a time we even inspired a group of females to form a more male-friendly (i.e. not man-hating) women's group that acted for a time as our sister organization. Unfortunately as the group progressed its philosophy became increasingly misogynistic, being driven especially by the outrageous machismo of a Hispanic member of the group, whom I can unfortunately state from a skyclad-friendly ritual we were at was seriously overcompensating for his own "short"comings, LOL. This increasing misogyny ripped apart relationships between some of the group members and their female partners, drove one man away when he felt his wife becoming the victim of drunken sexual advances (she was), led to one woman in a state where she could not defend herself being groped as a victim of drunken sexual advances (despite her not even being heterosexual), and eventually severed the working relationship with our sister organization, who simply grew tired of being increasingly demeaned, undervalued, and even sexually victimized by many of the members of the group. By this time I could take no more, myself, and left with the sisterhood, who much to their credit had always been fairly open to males with an interest in female mysteries (as at one time had the men's group been, but we of course had stopped getting female attendants for some time due to their not feeling safe or respected within the group). After I left the group they tried to ally themselves with another women's group, only to have it end with the same result. Sound harmful or unhealthy? Sure as heck did to me.
Talk about "ignorance" and it "taking all kinds"! And yet the mindless mantra of tolerance tossed so thoughtlessly about by so many Neopagans would tell me I have to respect these as equally valid paths to truth? Horseshit!
Hope this answers your question.
Hugs
Im still around...just really trying to balance everything. My ex husband found me on here I guess. So I dont feel quite as free to post things. At least he didn't go after me with court papers or anything again. LOL!
Goddess Bless
Tiffany
Thank you for the note about my pic, I love your pic too!!!
Lets chat sometimes,
Blessed Be
-Armanda.
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