Well a while ago I hit rock bottom quite drastically, there was nothing that could pull me out, untill the one day I was told to explore lucid dreaming/meditation. I did not expect anything to happen and I was quite surprised. For some strange reason they were very vivd (perhaps this is fed by the tensity of the depression) I remember something in the experience that made me think. I was seeing this flame in front of me and everything that I lost and was now out of my reach was in this flame. I started to chase it desperately. The more I chased it just kept the same distance away from me and I eventually became just too exhausted. It struck me then that the flame might be magnetic and the reason I couldn't get to it was because my magnetism caused it to move away. The next thing I knew I was on a field with people standing and I could see these people's spirit bodies sitting by their feet area scratching something. I looked closer and saw that they were holding flints in their hands. There were one's who got very emotional about not being able to start what was obviously a fire and they would look over to other people to see if they could get (i don't know) clues(?). They seem to get more emotional and upset because they couldn't light their fires. The people who didn't pay attention to anything but their flints got their fires started and then dissapeared off the field.....Anyway, it made me think a heck of a lot about what I was doing to myself. Maybe it might help you?