Female to Male ratio within covens

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Comment by Seneca GreyWolf on August 5, 2008 at 12:19pm

I thank you very much for the insight. I never really thought about the possabilities of males having a hard time accepting the strong female base, but I do now. I guess because the males that are in our coven are all older but also married and their wife is in the coven. As well as one that is gay and has accepted his feminine size as well as his strong masculine side.
I guess for me it makes me wounder why because our coven even though it is Goddess based we also try and balance with the God. We try and enclude everyone in work details. There are certain things that the males are the only one that can do them and vice versa with the things that only females can do. But anything else we let everyone do.

Thanks again for the reply and I do look forward to many others.

Brightest Blessings,
Kimmie

Comment by brentster on August 5, 2008 at 11:47am

You bring forward an interesting issue and although I can only give you my experience, maybe it will help you understand (why) rather than try to correct this imballance.
Within your group if have 10% or more being male then you are likely to have reached what of those who are available to you or willing to participate in a coven setting. It wasn't until we held open gatherings that men would come, dress up, celebrate and libate with us. They were good for that and you could count on them for their participation, but when the issue came to "Coven" activities those with a more focused intent they would decline to be apart. For these reasons: First: that men tend to lack the solidarity, that women posses when it comes to magical workings. Sure they will practice with a wife or girlfriend, but tended not to share the need that is fulfilled by a group working. Second: men are turned off from the aspect that wicca is for the goddess only and that the mention of the god is secondary, or lacks duality and equality. This seems true except for gay men, but they are able to express themselves together much as the feminine aspect would in a group setting, yet still choose to gather on their own for that benefit. Third: it is important that tasks within the group are not gender specific, don't let it be that when set up is needed that it's the men, and the breakdown as well, (I'm not saying you do that but you might be even without knowing it). Most of the men that we had in our group came with a female to gatherings and then felt that they wanted to expand their interests from celebration to practice and then if/when the time was right and they had the ontent they would be drawn forward for consideration. The unfortunance of sexual stereotypes often devides people from different backgrounds, and with the delicate nature of covens to begin with, it can seem overwhelming to have those who have been together for longer periods to allow and accept those just entering and vice/versa. Getting everyone on the same "magical page" is hard enough no matter how encompassing you are within your group. It took 6 years for us to reach a threshold of 25% and try to maintain it took alot of energy and effort, that also took energy and effort from the whole.
So my advice is this keep looking, there are guys out there but you may have to be accepting of persuasion among them and for the time be happy with what you are working with, for that is the reason for your group to begin with right? It's a matter of being there when they come looking without trying so hard to precondition yourselves into what you think your coven should be made of. The groups that came before us (those we'd love to emulate) lived in a different time and the social religious stereotypes were different and people felt freer to express themselves, more than in todays environment. Have a little patience and if it is within the power that be that you become more diverse than except those openings when they arise.

hope this helps...

)O( brentster