So today I discovered a whole new world. One that had been right there under my nose and I had been completely oblivious to it. Don't get me wrong, in church (my mom is a staunch Catholic and my father is working on becoming an Orthodox Priest) I had heard of witchcraft and its road to hell, but I never actually stopped to think about what I as a person believed. Until about a year ago when I was at a family get together back home; my outcast cousin had brought along his punk girlfriend with a very interesting tattoo. I was fascinated by it, drawn to it, in a way that befuddled me. When I asked her what it was she told me, "it's a symbol we used back home for partying."
I believed her, for a while; but the symbol wouldn't leave me alone and, this happens at random times and I have no idea how to explain it, the word rune popped into my head. Clear out of the blue, struck me like lightening; I have never had any background knowledge about any sort of runes unless you consider reading about how Hermione Granger took Ancient Runes in Harry Potter when I was a kid. I tried to let it go, shrug it off and forget about it, but I kept seeing other symbols; in my dreams, brought up in conversations with my friend Mike*, around town...it was like they were shouting at me.
Somewhere inside of me I had always known Catholicism, or even Christianity for that matter, wasn't something I truly believed in. I only followed it like everyone around me as it appeared I had no other choice. I've always longed for...something special. Witchcraft spelled me, gods and goddesses fascinated me, herbs bewitched me, and the thought of rituals enchanted me. But those were all fairy tales and fantasies right?
Today I was surfing the web, lazying about and pretty bored, when I found it. The one symbol I was convinced was a rune that had so captivated me, called to an inner part of me that I hadn't been aware of before. I immediately clicked on it and I had one of those jaw dropping moments. The symbol really was a rune, Thurisaz of the Eldar Futhark. But that was only part of the website.
As a half German who can trace her paternal ancestry back to the 1800's the talk of Asatru Paganism mesmerized me. After a year of skimming of different Wicca and Pagan paths and not finding one that sounded right I was beginning to give up. But today I found my path, I can feel it inside me, shouting at me that this is right. The religion of my ancestors.
I have A LOT of learning to do, like massive amounts; but I've found my path and I'm going to enjoy the beautiful journey.
*=Names have been changed for privacy purposes