I'm doing much better lately. I mean, some slips, flase grips, loose lips, and all that, but the poetry, the flow of daily life has resumed, even if I do sleep a bit earlier and more often than I'd like to be. Even so, I spend far more time at least focusing on my creativity, and were it not for the library being down to only 2 laptops I'd surely be writing much, much more. It's hard to get a good stream of writing going when every few minutes your PC is reminding you of how many minutes you've left till your session is over.
And while my wife still only contacts me for divorce-talk, at least now I've finally seen her for the fool she is and don't suffer frm attachment so badly that I have this notion I have to "go down with the ship." Quite the contrary, though I'm enjoying some of the less-than-exciting benefits of the newly-single life, I am also getting reacquainted more each day with Who I am, the Divine Within. Hardly spackling over a hole in my heart with more and more sycophants, as so many losers will do.
No, I still strive for Quality in my relations. Be it friend, lover or what-have-you, I seek a level of depth to whatever I do, whomever I meet. I try to keep it real, as much as this prefabricated society, this Ego Empire, allows for that.
It's hard, though: working on the same Novel for about 5 years now, the elements constantly changing, re-forming, growing and evolving with me and m ylife. Working on another one, also, which is kind of Ulyses-like in its "anything goes, this is Consciousness seen differently."
Then there's the Autobiography, to which I say, Why not get started early? We all have a Life Story, and I think we all should share it, sooner or later. It's remarkably unifying to take the life you've lived so far, as well as your dreams, aspirational hopes and your "Great Work," to use the Magickal term, and focus your sense of self like a laser beam on it. I feel this is prime work for helping narrow down one's True Will.
I already know I'm a Writer in the main, Poet second to that, but an Artist overall (just...out of practice with the visual arts these days). My question is, "Okay, what now? Where do I go next? On what should I focus my main consciousness? Or do I just work on all three things, and maybe even more, plus studying Writing *and* the Magickal Arts?"
Yes, I think I'll do that. Just that, yes, I'll take on. Because it isn't enough if it isn't too much.