Blessings in a Bottle ~Please Read~
I know most here will not read this all the way through, but I hope you will. Blessings to you all on this wonderful day. That and it has been so long since I've been here, so don't bother unless you wish for tears!, I do still love you all!
Even though I have 3 great children and my oldest Daughter is here with me as are my 2 Grand Children that are her's. But, my family as brothers and mom and daddy are gone. But the two things I don't have here anymore are my mother or father and my brothers. You see, I have told a lot about myself from time to time, but a story of love and a real story of love in a Family has never been written or told. I don't know why, except maybe I am just a private person, but on a day like today with me now as the Matriarch of the family at such an early age, yes, with Grand Kids in tow. It felt right to sit down and type. So here it goes, I hope you all look through the mistakes I made in typing, as I have been fight tears all week over this, but this hit home today.
As Life's journeys have taken me from childhood to adulthood, I sat this morning on the side of my bed just thinking and I started to cry as I have done all week. But, as much as I love my children and all of my grand kids. I was still missing something, what it was I didn't know, until I went and picked up the (Family Book of knowledge/or as some call them the BOS) to write in today's date. It hit me, I was missing ME, I was missing my Life. That's right, with all I lived through, I was missing me and my Life that was given to me to live.
Yeppers, all though there is book written about me out there, lol my story I wish to write still had not been written and won't be for a long while yet if I am lucky, but so much I have missed. You know, those little wink from a loved on, the cute smiles from those in the corner of the mouth and all those I love yous. I never talk much about it all, but Gezz, I have missed so much all due to my sight. Why it took me awhile or so long to it all figure out, I am not still sure, but I did and didn't feel I could tell my daughter's about it and my son is in Japan in the Military, so that was out of the question.
So I just thought I would tell you all, that is if you will all listen!
As I said, Life's Journeys take us places some of us never would have thought of and we write them slowly each day of our lives, so here is part of my story. I have Traveled the world, I have 3 PhD's, 3 beautiful children and 6 beautiful Grand Kids. But I realized this morning that we all write our own stories as we walk our Paths, no matter the Twist and Turns in the road's that we hit.
I was born Physically Handicapped and with Epilepsy into a Pagan Family but in a Catholic Church on Easter Sunday morning during their Sunrise Mass, I went blind from a Genetic/Hereditary disorder that had to be passed through both sides of my family. I looked at all of that as a Gift, How people ask, I still wonder today.
I have lost all 5 of my brothers, 1 as a infant, 1 to illness and 1 in Tragic incident, 1 in the 911 South Tower, but he passed away doing a job and helping those to escape and 1 to a car accident last September 19th in a Head on collision. I have lost a home to Fire in 1989 during Yule Tide seasons and 1 to Hurricane Jean in 2004, I refuse to speak about Hurricane Ike that hit my families homestead and land were I was born and my family Homestead stood since the mid 1800's. Too many losses I would have to say and this is only a piece of the ice breaker of it all. At times I have wanted to just give up, but I can't, because I have a family to care for and that need me and much more I have worked hard for, just like my parents did. But boy I have some happy memories too. I will only tell a few, but they were so sweet and nice.
I remember the day I walked into my house from school and realized I didn't have to go to the Church next door to practice my Piano lessons anymore all because my brothers pooled their allowance for about 6 months to buy me a Old used Ivers Pond Upright Piano. Not the best in the world after playing a Grand Piano, but it worked and they did it because they loved me and showed it, I can still see the smiles on their faces and sense the love in their hearts as the shock of it hit me and started to wear off. I remember the day my oldest living brother signed the loan for me to get my 1st used car, and I never missed a payment on it either. I was one happy Teenager, lol.
But in all of this I realize that the 2 real stories within this Bottle were gone as well and needed to be written down. One being my dad, he passed many years back, but did the best he could to make his poor family the Rich's Family in the world. He built me a Doll House and since he was a Master Carpenter he just had to have Blue Prints to build the best Damned Doll house for his little girl. He saved his extra money weeks on end to get those Blue Prints too and I got my dollhouse built, all from those Blue Prints that could have fed and army. He put handmade furniture (Carved) in it, Mom made little drapes for it and stuffed the cushions for the Chairs with cotton balls to make them soft for my dolls and it fit just right were I wanted it to go, near the bed he made for me that mom decorated with her beautiful sewing skills. I got this on my 10th B-Day, lol, what a surprise it was. My little girl, played with that doll house until that fire burned us out.
Next my mom passed away, 10 years to the day my daddy did, I cried that day as I knew I lost the last 2 of my best friends. Mom was an Trained Chef but turned RN and worked as a Nurse for almost 40 some odd years. She was also seamstress and made all of us kids our cloths. Damn, I still laugh at that song that Dolly Parton sings called "Coat of Many Color". Because my mom made one for me and I thought that my coat my mom made was like the one in that song and it was the prettiest thing I ever had. Oh and those drapes and cushions for my dollhouse and the one thing I will never forget is my Bell Bottoms that she made with a snazzy matching Belly showing shirt that daddy fussed with her over, lol. No one at school ever knew us kids wore homemade cloths or that we were poor.
Mom could cook too being a chef and daddy hunted, Mom taught me to cook and Daddy taught me how to hunt and fish, so every year we filled the freezer up and food was on the table for anyone who walked in. We Gardened and grew all we needed, our parents taught us what Life really was about. I know this is not all of it, but the things they taught us all were the things I have past on to my Children and Grand babies. I use to teach and taught these things to my Students, their parents were happy when a note got sent home, it was of good, not bad. There is so much more to say but, I need to print this out, my daughter is driving me over to the Gulf of Mexico, since I was born in the Gulf on an Island and that is were my parents are from and my family are from. I have a Bottle to place this letter or note in with a spell or wish that it be sent to them by our Goddesses and Gods. If any of you happen to get it, just know it was written with love.
You all know this is MOTHERS DAY and FATHERS DAY is soon coming, but to me it should be called FAMILIES DAY, since we all do what we can to gather and celebrate. Well I am celebrating today for my mom and dad and all you taught me by saying good bye at last since I never have let go but I have too now and I love you Momma and Daddy for all you did for us kids and the Family. We didn't have money or rich's and were considered Poor, But damn you guys always made sure we were taken care of and Loved. MOM and DAD, YOU MADE US RICH and Gave use the World, I miss you both and would not Trade one minute of it all! To you my sweet Brothers, I loved you and still do, But I have to let go, So now I am taking you all with mom and Daddy back to our Gulf. Be free with your Souls now and Fly with our Birds to our Gods and Goddesses on so high.
I Love you Mom and Dad, and I love you my dear brothers and thank you all here today for hearing my Blessings on this Mothers Day from my message in this Bottle,