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From Parasite to Pure: What Lead to the Takeover Part 1

Swimming The Same Deep Water - The Cure

Lyrics:
 
Kiss me goodbye pushing out before I sleep,
Can't you see I try swimming the same deep water as you is hard.
The shallow drowned lose less than we. 
You breathe the strangest twist upon your lips, and we shall be together.
 
Kiss me goodbye. Bow your head and join with me.
And face pushed deep reflections meet, the strangest twist upon your lips.
And disappear, the ripples clear, and laughing break against your feet and laughing break the mirror sweet, so we shall be together.
 
Kiss me goodbye. Pushing out before I sleep, it's lower now and slower now, the strangest twist upon your lips.
But I don't see, and I don't hear the tightly hold up silently my hands. 
Before my fading eyes, and in my eyes your smile.
 
The very last thing before I go...
The very last thing before I go...
The very last thing before I go...
 
I will kiss you, I will kiss you.
I will kiss you forever on nights like this.
I will kiss you, I will kiss you.
And we shall be together.
 
When I was around 17 years old, I listened to this CD.  It is the 1989 CD from The Cure named Disintegration.  That is when I started to develop this passion for alternative and new wave music.  The Cure was known as a band highly depressing, and it falls into the same category as the band Joy Division, but this song touched me in such a way that I would even be in tears listening to it over and over before dozing off to sleep.  I remember many nights I would cry myself to sleep, and it was almost becoming a ritual for me as I did this way too many times.  After that shadow figure appeared to me at 15 years old, morbid thoughts started to race my mind.  In a way, this song brings me more to the meaning as to what happened when the dark entity took over my body.  In a way, she romanced me to my absence (as in this song seems like death and in a way it was).  I posted these lyrics and the video for this reason.  At 15 years old, I have noticed changes in attitude, the things I was doing would be things I would not normally do.  I began smoking cigarettes, wearing very provocative clothing from time to time, going out drinking and smoking marijuana, and music was merely a passion. Yes, I still listen to metal, rap, hip-hop, rock, alternative, and I love every minute of it.  Just that the music I was listening to then was very intense and mere violent.  I also noticed that was the time I was wearing black more often, and the make up I was wearing was even glaring out the black in my eyes when they would turn that way at night, and my eyeliner had to fit the description of bringing out that darkness in the eyes. Many people claimed I had Egyptian eyes, and I even had one person write a poem about them called The Egyptian Maze.  This song here explains how I felt I was drifting away, and whatever entity or entities were starting to surface in my life, they would look down at me.  I was a hopeless romantic, and I had the desire to be in love since this time.  Since, I was being treated in bad ways, since I was treated as if I were non-existent, they would look down on me assuring me they would always be there.  So, "kiss me goodbye" was their way of telling me that I can go and go in peace, and in time they will make sure no person would ever hurt me again.  In the end, I found out that was just another lie I have been told, as many people have lied to me about things over and over again.  In truth, these entities were no different then the people in my life treating me so badly.

Empty - The Cranberries

Lyrics:
 
Something has left my life and I don't know where it went to ah, ah, ah.
Somebody caused me strife, and it's not what I was seeking.
Didn't you see me, didn't you hear me?
Didn't you see me standing there ah, ah, ah?
 
Why did you turn out the lights?  Did you know that I was sleeping?
 
Say a prayer for me.
Help me to feel the strength, I did.
My identity, has it been taken?  Is my heart breaking?
All my plans, fell through my hands, fell through my hands.
All my dreams, it suddenly seems, it suddenly seems.
Empty (x7)
 
This song here was released from The Cranberries in their CD No Need To Argue.  I fell in love with this band, after this CD.  This song here played when I was the same age, around 17 or 18 years old.  This song here really touched me in a way because this is what happened.  I was very empty, and something has left my life.  I was beginning to leave my life, and I had no idea several years later that I did leave my life.  It also states that I felt not one person saw me, felt me, or hear me.  I felt I was always kept in disregard, ignored, pushed aside or away, and that I felt not one person ever wanted to listen to my feelings or thoughts, let alone be interested.  The emptiness really started to begin in the later years, but I know from being 15 years old to 18 years old is when it was starting.

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