Saturday July 15, 2017
My life seems to be full of dreams, visions, doorways, and worlds. I think I should just dedicate this journal to my adventures in this “realm.” Yet again, I had a dream last night. I was on a gigantic ship. It was a multilevel ship with a sturdy build. My life there was busy, but secure. I knew where we were all going and what life was all about. Somehow, even with all that could be explored, I felt trapped. Maybe it was because there were limits to how far I could go, how many questions I could ask. Or maybe it was the power of the people on the ship and how much they directed our lives and our thoughts. I knew that I was mentally disturbed in the dream, as if I was being strangled, even in all that opulence and security. It was as if chains kept me to the ship, even though there was nothing on my person to indicate such a phenomenon. By the time I had arrived in my dream, my mind had been going so off the wall, that I wanted desperately to leave and had formed a plan. Moments later, I was standing at the edge of the ship, fifty feet above the water. I had calculated this spot to have good and safe advantages, relatively speaking. I took a deep breath and launched myself into the air in a pencil position. As soon as my body left the ship, my mind felt free. It was as if everything that had ever burdened me just rolled off my back. Even when I hit the ocean hard, it didn’t dampen my feelings of freedom. Unfortunately, the force of my body hitting the waves temporarily blacked me out, and I struggled to gain the upper hand against the massive wake of the ship. However, I eventually got to the surface with no broken limbs, and the water was not cold enough to kill me. I got pulled under a few times from the waves that became bigger at first and then calmed down a little. At least it was a rather normal day in the warm ocean, not one of those big storms or something. I had to lay on my back at times to rest my tired body. Somehow, I came across a piece of floating debris that I could use to hang onto. I think it was a kind of wood, but I’m not sure. From then on, it was just ocean for miles around, and I thought about the ship and its comfort, but I knew I couldn’t go back. I didn’t want to go back, no matter how much easier it would be. No one noticed me leaving, not at first at least. But, then again, the people on that ship, they go after people eventually. It’s one thing that makes me terrified. They won’t kill me, but they might harass me, at least, that was why I was scared. I didn’t want to be cornered, and I didn’t want to be forced back to something my mind found terrifying, as if back then I was a caged animal of some kind. My mind grew sleepy and I kept on startling awake, my heart beating fast looking for creatures in the water or making sure I was still holding onto the debris. Eventually, at dawn, after the terror of a long night, I scraped my foot against a stone. Looking down, I realized I was nearing land. Although the shore was mostly sand, it also had small rocks here and there, with a few medium sized ones in the water. Worrying, I tried to lift my feet up, so that I wouldn’t scrape them anymore. I didn’t want to bleed out in the water. That would attract…things. Thankfully I arrived on shore, walked a few steps, and collapsed in exhaustion. I didn’t even look to see what the land was like, just fell asleep, right on the sand. That’s where my dream ended.