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Greetings and love dear and precious readers..Last night Carol (my home aide) and I went out of town to an Ostara Sabbatt celebration. It was truly wonderful and well attended. It was my first time to be honoring our Goddess with other Witches. The ritual was a bit silly.. It all revolved around chocolate. I will just highlight a few things. The most significant was towards the end of the ritual a pair of red-tail hawks gave us the honor of visiting and circling our ritual. They screamed with delight. A very unusual sight.. Was that a omen from our Goddess? They circled about 5 minutes. They had a Spiral Dance which I was unable to participate in because of my useless left leg. Carol enjoyed it. The one thing that unsettled me was Carol and I were not made to feel welcome. No-one spoke to us. Well I take that back, There was a man there from a group in Little Elm, 30 miles East..Star, he welcomed us. But I knew him. I had been to his house a year or so ago. He's a High Priest there. I hope to go back someday soon. All and all it was a great experience. Carol and I have hopes of returning in May for Beltaine. I am enjoying my Wicca studies and learning so very, very much. I am blessed to have a very wise High Priestess as my teacher and mentor. I have hopes of leaving Texas and moving to Louisiana, where she and her coven reside in the next year or so. It's a dream, time will tell. I am very lonely here where I am and need support from other gay folks and witches. I am just not content here any longer. Carol and I didn't stay for the pot-luck last night.. Just didn't feel comfortable..Oh well, there will be others.

I am sitting here at my computer gazing at the cattle grazing in the open pasture. It sits on a hill and is covered with pine trees. I can't seem to get motivated in the mornings here lately, I didn't get out of bed till noon today. We are having a cold spell here in Texas, no doubt our last for the season. I have decided I am going to cut my hippy hair and look like a young (haha) gentleman again. I haven't chatted with dear Jacob in a week now.. I have mixed emotions about he and I, though I have a nagging feeling that perhaps it might work with he and I, if I give it a chance. I just don't know..I think maybe I am getting jaded and set in my ways, even though it's very lonely. A jaded old man, that's me..

I guess I will try and eat a bite and retire to the bedroom and snuggle under the covers and watch TV. Blessed Be!!!

Well it's a new day.. I don't know what's going on with me these last few days but I have been really out of sorts. Just not feeling right. Perhaps it's the quit smoking aid Chantix, it's known to increase depression. I forced myself to get out of the house and go play bingo in the community room. It brightened my day a bit, I won twice and then won blackout..the prizes are simple household goods. It's fun and something to do. I have managed to hold Marty at bay this month and keep out of the casino. I just can't afford it and it's a waste of money, although it is exciting and fun. I am cooking chicken N dumplings for dinner tonight..I bet it will be yummy. I will be sharing with my neighbor, my substitute Ma. I am supposed to be getting my hippy hair cut this week. It will be nice to have it short again. Long hair is just not my style.

Yet another day..I will try to get this off today. Just got a call from Marty she is wanting to go across the river to the Casinos. I really don't want to. I am taking Chantix to help me quit smoking but I feel it is causing my depression to skyrocket. I just haven't felt myself for days. It's been a week now and it hasn't taken affect.. Oh well we shall see. I head to the dentist tomorrow. I am really dreading it, I envision him digging into my gums to remove my roots. I hope he does all my teeth, get it over with. My false teeth are already made. What a nightmare. I am horrified of Dentists and that long needle..YIKES!!!! I am warming up a bowl of chicken n dumplings..My appetite has vastly improved, My HIV doctor put me on Megate, which helps with your appetite.. Seems to be working. Everything is getting pretty and green here in Texas, it has been in the 50's all week. Now they are saying 90 on Monday. All different kinds of birds have been flocking outside my window. I have such a wonderful view. Oh well, Emerald has rambled nonsense enough..time to get to the story at hand.. You know I'm home now, so perhaps the story will get better..Not the same old thing everyday.. With all that, let's tell a tale..


I sure hope Jodi hurrys up and gets here. I am almost out of cigarettes. I have been chain smoking again ever since getting home. Not good! I am tired and think I will take a nap after Jodi leaves. I was able to take a shower this morning, boy did it ever feel good. I am hoping that my alcoholic cousin Leslea calls today. I worry about her so much. She has called me just about everyday. She says she's worries about me. I will be having a busy day on Wednesday. I will be getting my haircut at 11:30am, I use the same hair stylist that has cut my hair since I was a wee lad. She was my mom's best friend. Also on Wednesday, my MHMR case-manager Sandy will pay a visit at 9, hope I'll be awake. Ok, I'm out of stuff to say, I guess I'll go and color now.


I have the coffee brewing now, can't make it in the mornings without my morning caffeine. Gosh, it takes forever to brew. My dear Colleen still wont let me pet her, silly cat! I didn't wake from bed till 7am, that's pretty unusual for me as I am a early bird. It is chilly outside today, supposed to be 65 for the high. I am so very tired and am thinking of heading back to bed. But it will have to wait until after church.


Bad me!! I've been neglecting my writings these last few days. Got to get a handle on that. Tomorrows the big day, Kevin and I will be 45 years old. We are getting old LOL. We were born the same year and day. That's quite a coincidence huh? What makes it even more special is that we are best friends. Praises be!!! Colleen has finally warmed up to me and is letting me pet her now, give her the affection she deserves. That warms my heart. Well, I'm pooped. Think I will retire to the bedroom.


Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me..happy birthday dear Dragon, happy birthday to me Indeed!!! And Kevin, happy birthday to you as well dear man. Can't forget about my buddy now can I? Happy birthday to us.....I'll carry on with my day.


I am fixing to go to an AA meeting, didn't write much this morning..well as far as writing goes, I have really been slacking off. That's unusual for me. It just seems as though my life is very boring since returning from the hospital. My nurses that I have at home have been wrapping the bandages for my leg to tight, so tight that it's cutting off my circulation. Not good! I can do a better job myself. My precious Colleen is demanding attention this morning..Meow, Meow and more Meows. I will be going to both of my doctors in Denton tomorrow. Dr. Whatley and Dr. Lindsay, I really like them both. I will be getting a new boot for my foot, gosh it hurts like crazy..

Well dear readers.. I will close there, There will be great tragedies in the days to will see. I am fixing to be heading to Dallas to the dentist. I dread it so very much. At any rate, I hope you are happy and well, just as I do everyday. Emerald Dragon treasures his friends. Have a wonderful day and be blessed.

Emerald Dragon

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