I know I've been talking about it for the past several weeks here and there but today its official. He passed at 12:30pm today with his daughter at his side. He opened his eyes, took one final breath and was gone. I will miss him.
He died at the facility where I work and all of my co-workers cared for him emotionally as well as took good care of him while he was there. I think that's how you realize some of the most important friends in your life..the ones who can take care of your loved ones and make them comfortable and ease your mind.
I'm doing ok. My fiance thinks I'm a "pillar of strength" but I'm not. I'm just coping the best way I know how and trying to take care of my dad in this difficult time. I took a lot of care of my grandpa in this past year and am really glad I did. I was with him the night before..all night working and for that time I am grateful. I already had told him my goodbyes in the weeks leading up to this and I knew when I left him this morning (leaving work) that I would never see him alive again. So I kissed his forehead like I always do and I left.
He was ready..he was in so much pain leading up to this and for weeks..hell years he wanted to finally go so he could be with my grandma.
I don't know what to do now other than just keep moving..keep doing something and eventually it will be ok. I have to go back to work for a meeting tonight and I know everyone is going to give me condolences..and I know I'll dissolve like I did this afternoon. But I must say the support is refreshing and much needed. Even if everyone else thinks I'm strong my co-workers can imagine what I'm going through and I can be my miserable self around them.
Anyways, I just need to share/vent/rage whatever.