I thank all my wonderful PS friends for your kind words over the last 7 days
It was bad for a few days as I could not stop the tears from flowing but I think my life changed when I bought my set of Tibetan singing bowls; When I do have a hicup in the positivity I feel, I now sit and listen to the sound they make. The simple circular movement of the striker around the edge of the bowl is a meditation in it's self. An hour of that sound and the marta "Om Mani Padma Hum" pacifies a troubled mind much better than a handful of Valium and better for the body too. The striker and bowl has been well used over the last 7 days. I must say I don't think I would have made it with out my singing bowls.
I have put Sophie to rest; for four nights I lit a candle for her and said my good byes. It has been hard as I feel the lost of Sophie each day; she was the only soul I could say that showed me unconditional love. The loneliness I now feel, as she was the positive to all the negativity thats around me.
I have fixed a brass memorial plaque to a large stone I picked up in the nearby river. Her ashes now lie beneath the stone in her favorite resting spot in my garden, flanked by two solar powered garden lights. Sophie meant alot to me and this is my way of giving thanks for all she gave me.
My neighbor has again this week, called me a weirdo and to put it more politely than her, criticized the way I live. I tried to help her understand how this attitude hurts; but it just gets laughed off. Some people think that they can do what they like to others. Who's the one does she come to, when she needs help, to borrow money or a sholder to cry on; Oh yes, "me". As I will always practice what I preach; if it's within my means I will never turn away from helping someone In need.
I do attract this type person into my life like a moth to a flame. I understand now how I took Sophies love and friendship for granted. Her passing is not a negative as I have grown in spirit because of her life and teachings. My neighbor claims to know everything about everything; which if it was true is so sad as there is no more for her to learn and because of this, no growth. I hope that I never get to the point that I feel I know everything there is to know. I'm so happy to know so little with the ability to learn so much.
Life is all about growth!
Everything! absolutely everything that happens in our lives has a spiritual reason. Mental, emotional and physical events are only effects.
When we are struggling with any challenge, whether it be ill health, a lack of money, a lost job, relationships, an accident, death, we need to look for the spiritual learning. We can ask ourselves, "What quality does my soul needs, to learn from this event?" Only when doing this are we within the state of growth.
Never fear how slow you move forward, only In standing still!
Update on the Castlerigg trip.
I have not had the trike for over a month as it's been in the shop having the bottom bracket rebuilt, new crank with a lower gear ratio. It came back but the power management for the electric motor was then shorting out, so back it went to be fixed. It's back with me and now I can pedal with little problem and a top speed of 7 mph, more if I use the electric motor. The lower gear ratio has put me back at square one with the range of the battery for some reason.
My only problem is being able to pedal for more than an hour; It's going to take me all day to get to the campsites. This will be a story of mind over matter or pain in my case; what the heck! You must have a challenge in life, this is going to be mine. Ouch, pass the pain killers. If I don't do the trip this year it will never happen because of the state of my legs will only get worse.
I now have shut out the pain in the legs; to get use to the pedaling and get fit for the trip, to learn a new motor management so the battery will last longer. I was planning to go in June but with the cost of the trike repairs and the vet bill for Sophie; I might have to put it of till July /August that is if I don't need a boat by then with all this rain.