Through out the course of my life I have been known and prone to human mistakes, as well as contributing factors that have have lead to where I am at now in life. Growing up I was fairly a loner and to this day still have this to a degree. Growing up I would either be outside in the woods exploring nature, or in my room. If I was in my room I was partaking in studying, playing instruments(music), or partaking in recreational activities.
Within this format other processes have occurred. From they way I function around others to perspective about the world and self. Over time I have been lead into a down fall in 2009 to which lead to a conviction in 2010 resulting in 8 years in prison 3 years probation, and an unknown time of registration due to solitude, curiosity( over desire to look into know or learn everything ), and technology making a comfort convenience. It became a simple rut that later became a bad choice into a huge mistake.
I grew up and had to adapt while incarcerated, but still kept my values. I knew that I can go about the experience several different ways. I can let it leave me bitter, I can allow it to depress me, or I can deal with and move on. I chose to move on and do what I have always done continue to learn and figure things out to of which I grew more out of my social anxiety.
Being released from incarceration 29, December 2017 than released from the halfway house portion 26 June, 2018. I knew everything I was getting into. Not necessarily expecting but seeing it as a likely possibility of the difficulties I was going to have.
I know there is a three strike rule of societies and if you fall into the categories it can seem like a pipe dream, and yes it does every day. I said to myself I accept the LGBT community, I practice a non-Abraham religion, and I have a criminal record ( one that is not the most popular ). So realizing the location of where I am at I can simply say I understand the issues that might cause a difficulty with in the society I reside. This is called coming to terms with a believed reality.
At the same time my advanced study comes into play, along with my Pagan, Buddhist, and other eastern teachings come into plays. In the teaching of the Buddha. The Buddha taught lessons to lead out of suffering and in these teaching he taught of impermanence wisdom karma compassion and so forth.
Impermanence, all events come into being and dissolve. Nothing last, everything decays in science energy can not be created nor destroyed, it is transmigrated from one source to another. So regardless of what I am going through what ever I am doing it not forever. So with this in mind it becomes easier to deal with daily situations.
In one of Buddha's and many other eastern teachings. We are a result of our own accumulated karma, and in control of our own destiny. We may not always have control of the events in our lives, but we have control of how we experience them. So I begin using the 4 noble truths and 8 fold path in and the 5 hindrances working most things with in life.
4 Noble Truths
Dukkha – The truth of Suffering
Samudaya – The truth of the origin of suffering.
Nirodha – The truth of the cessation of suffering.
Magga – The truth of the path out of the cessation of suffering.
8 Fold Path
Right action/ conduct
10 steps to success.
Find your own path.
Take small steps toward your goal.
Embrace your failures.
Don't compare yourself to others.
Get the right friends.
Live a balanced life.
It is about the journey.
There are many other teaching among the non-abrahamic cultures that teach many concepts that that have helped me figure out the world around me. For example the Tao De Ching says success is as dangerous as failure. Hope is as shallow as fear. When one thinks about this statement. At first it is hard to figure but over time one can view it as. Whether one goes up or down a ladder your position is shaky. When you stand still on the ground your you will always keep your balance.
Tao De Ching Phrases
Stop thinking, and end your problems.
What difference between yes, and no?
What difference between success, and failure?
Must you value what others value?
Avoid what others avoid?
Fame, or Integrity which is more important?
Money, or happiness, which is more valuable?
Success, or failure, which is more destructive?
If you look to others for fulfillment,
you will never truly be fulfilled.
If your happiness depends on money,
you will never be happy with yourself.
Be content with what you have,
Rejoice in the way things are.
When you realize nothing is lacking.
The whole world belongs to you.
There is no gain without loss.
There is no success without failure.
Without evil you would never know good.
It does not matter that we can not know everything.
A trap is for fish: when you have the fish,
you can forget the trap.
A snare is for rabbits:
when you have the rabbit,
you can forget the snare.
Words are for meaning:
when you have the meaning,
you can forget the words.
Where is the man who has forgotten words?
He is the one I would like to talk to.
There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth;
not going all the way and not starting,
A jug fills drop by drop.
To be idle is a short road to death,
and to be diligent is a way of life;
foolish people are idle, wise people are diligent.
We are shaped by our thoughts,
we become what we think.
When the mind is pure,
joy follows like a shadow
that never leaves.
Do not dwell in the past,
do not dream of the future,
concentrate the mind on the present moment.
Do not over rate what you have received,
nor envy others.
He who envies others does not obtain peace of mind.
An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast,
a wild beast may wound your body,
but a friend will wound your mind/soul
Just as a candle can not burn without fire,
Men can not live without a spiritual life.
It is better to travel well than to arrive.
Foolishness is knowing truth and choosing different.
Mind precedes all mental states.
Mind is their chief; they are all mind wrought.
If with an impure mind a person speaks or acts,
Suffering follows him like the wheel that follows the foot of the ox.
As rain breaks through an ill-thatched house,
Passion will break through an unreflecting mind.
Hard to hold down, nimble, alighting where ever it likes:
the mind. Its taming is good. The mind well tamed brings ease.
If a traveler does not meet with one who is his better,
or his equal, let him firmly keep to his solitary journey;
There is no companionship with a fool,
Should you find a wise critic to point out your faults,
follow him as you would a guide to hidden treasure.
Greater in battle than the man
who would conquer a thousand thousand men,
is he who would conquer just one – himself.
Think of me as the one who has disappeared.
Let no one deceive or despise another at any time.
Hatred never quenches hatred.
Mortals purify themselves by leading virtuous and noble lives,
not by money
Fear is born from intimacy,
Dust is from a house risen.
Homeless, Free from Intimacy,
This is a sage's vision.
Common among buddhist and taoist teaching
it you and I are both illusions.
A knight eats without filling his belly.
To study and not think is a waste.
To think and not study is dangerous.
I transmit I do not invent.
I love and seek to spread what is longstanding.
So as time went on I began realizing the truth of our natures from my large amount of studies.
I began to realize, Life is based on conditions. Without proper understanding many routes may be off. In the time of human life is a series of events called the human experience.
With in this ones society has a way of shaping it. As I have said once before; one may not always be able to choose the events that occur in ones existence, but we choose how we experience it. That is the key in understanding development is how one experiences the event.
In the eastern view they teach of what they call a karmic lesson. One repeats the same lesson until one finally learns from it. The key to it is finding ones true self, and coming into acceptance. In psychology they state the three parts of the psyche are the id- animal, instinct, natural, nature, primitive, or survival. Superego – Judgment system [ usually by society, others ] installed within one. And the ego – the part of the mind that has self awareness, self esteem, representative to the outside world, the translator of receive and send. It can become very difficult to figure out one's self due to the many variables in play.
so if I complete the sentences
If I take personal responsibility for my education
If I take personal responsibility for my career.
If I take personal responsibility for my relationships.
If I take personal responsibility for my health
If I take personal responsibility for all that happens to me.
My answer goes with the eastern teachings of today is a result of accumulated karma from past days. By taking responsibility it gives the the probability of lessening negative karma in the future by how I act at this moment which might allow me to achieve my goals set forth with in this human existence. I have taken the responsibility and understand what lies ahead from that of what is done with in my past. As well as all involved to understand the what when where who why aspects by doing meditation to help understand it all.