poem 3

i hate everything about u ,why do i love u " the best quote to describe me and my ex it was so much easyer to just let the time we shared together slip away and to push her away lol after all we had very little in common and lived in to different society classes are realationship seemed doomed from the start we quikly spiraled out of countrol with drugs and drinking untill very recently i neglected to rember any of the good times we had the woods late nite conversations about comics and all sorts of things we split up and i shattered what love she had for me into a jigsaw puzzle with no start or finish the reasons behind this very morbid action have alluted me for quite some time i think the main reasons was an resentment that i wasent the one to marry her first and the memory of her when we first met and where torn apart bye factors out of are control when we did meet up again the girl i new grew up to a lovely women but a stranger to me i trully felt that she acted are realationship out that the true her was unknow to me that she tryed to act a certain way with me her friends familly ect. being someone to please them all it came to the point where i didnt now this person at all and even though i did love her resentments grew stronger so strong that it tore us apart but now i torn myself into a yin and yang part of me hates her but i do love her one i guese fuels the other we spoke recently and i found her to be changed once more to a stranger it was like a completly different person no remnents of the person i dated at all is this the true her idk. i wonder if there is a true self in her or whether she is trully a camiline clocking and changing to her enviorment but against my head my heart morns her loss this women who after all are past and who she was to me turned out to be nonthing but an illusion of an actress to this day i dont know if how she felt was fact or fiction she moved on now and i seem stuck in a tangled depression of rage hate and saddness i hate myself cause after everything i cant forget her and i miss her i fight myself everyday lol but after all "it is so hard to say goodbye to yesterday" thank u for reading my insanity lol sincerly ag