So, a brief introduction to what makes me... me… would suffice. I was drawn to Wicca when I was 13/14 years old and didn’t so much *practice* it because I could not… harmonize with it, but I meddled with it through most of high school. In total, approximately four years. There was something good with it (that agreed with my nature) but something else kept my potential out of reach. I never realized what it was.
For 21 years, my family had me believing I was German and slightly Irish (25%). Turns out, it’s reversed (75% Irish). Needless to say, I was pissed but it answers a lot of questions. I wasn’t ashamed, but I was very disappointed and unsatisfied with the idea that I was German. It didn’t fuse with me well.
So here I am, 24, out of college (FINALLY) and on to get my happiness back. All I wanted to be, throughout my life, and since childhood…. was happy and healthy. I’m practically neither. Well, I’m Happy, but a little lost. Does that make sense? Anyway, I compiled some bullet points to order my involvement in this PaganSpace I found.
Specifics I follow/Study/Practice:
Christian (to a point, and I’d be happy to discuss this if you‘re confused)
Things I find Fascinating:
What I feel:
Animal Guiding Spirits
-especially with birds of prey, speaking for myself
Better understand my undeniable and sometimes overwhelming connection with the Moon
Need to discover my connection with panthers and tigers. I’m ignorant to WHY, but I know we understand each other, sometimes (for lack of a better word) talk.
What I’m either spooked by or just don’t feel a calling for, yet wish I better understood:
Shrines/Altars in the home
What I hope to build in my life in addition to this intellectual/spiritual study:
1: Find or make my own natural beauty products - I hate drugs and chemicals
2: For my entire childhood, I was outside all the time. All of a sudden, I hit college. I forget about my religious and spiritual practices because I’m buried in textbooks, I stop cooking because I lack time because I’m buried in textbooks, I neglect my natural athleticism and stop working out because I was so tired because I was always buried in textbooks. I newly developed allergies. Like - WHAT?! I can’t be allergic to the OUTDOORS. I AM one with the outdoors. So, I think college tried to kill me. I want to get my family back (plants, animals, breeze…) and I refuse to buy pharmaceutically developed and altered drugs. However (aka in the meantime), I can’t breathe or see sometimes when I’m outdoors. I want to remedy this, permanently and naturally.
3: I mentioned I’m in love with the moon. I cry every time I see him now, because I feel distanced. I want to end the hurt.
4: I don’t sing everyday as I used to. In fact, I Hardly Do It At All. Damn you, college. I’m miserable now because I’m lost. I didn’t go to college to find myself. College ruined my life. I want it back, and stronger.
5: I hope to build a social circle with people I can, oh, I don’t know… TALK TO and not feel like I’ve lost my mind.
6: I love Halloween. I can’t exaggerate that. If I can finally celebrate it as were its intentions, I think I’ll feel better/happier and more complete. I can’t do this alone, though. I need some friends. Friends who can understand this path and bond with nature, the elements, and spirits.
Screw proofreading. This is Raw. Grammatically incorrect, poorly constructed, and ignorant (childish) at times. And I won’t apologize.
Thanks for reading. Slán go fóill.