That which you find within...

I've been thinking a lot about enlightenment lately. Primarily becasue the topic is buzzing around on the new age boards, but also becasue I've just finished a novel centering on the concept--or at least related to it. The upcoming Mayan calendar switch over is on people's minds, no doubt. The end of one cycle, the beginning of another. No one is sure what will happen, or if anything will happen, an that has people postulating and theorizing and such. Hell, even I'm doing it. But mostly, it has me thinking about change and ascension. About enlightenment and growing and changing which, as far as I'm concerned, is the point of it all. Getting better. Being better. Moving up along the spiral. Which makes me think about the first step, the housework that needs to be done before you can even think about climbing upwards. The work inside. Witches call is "shadow work." It's part of third degree training for a good reason. It's hard. It's the work we don't want to do, the demons we don't want to face. The tough stuff. ANd it's all about fixing ourselves. I think most paths have an equivalent, but don't think you can skip it. I suspect that's the most tempting pitfall, to look outward and upward and think that just maybe we can get away without the long, hard, ugly look within. But if you add onto your house before you learn how to keep it clean, the mess will only spill over into the addition. If you don't clean out your bad habits, ferret out your weaknesses and work some magic on your flaws, you will only bring them with you on the journey. They will grow as you grow. The next rung up, they will only be harder to face, more stubborn, more resistant to healing. The thing is, this long hard look at yourself really sucks. Still, it is worth it. It will be both the hardest and the most worthwhile thing you ever do. But how do you do it? Where do you start? That's the real kicker isn't it? The shadow is tricky because it hides from us. Also, we don't really want to find it. Even when we do get a peek at it, we usually immediately stuff it away, explain it away, or pretend it didn't just smack us in the face. And of course, the deeper we go, the more we find. Isn't that fun? I don't claim to have any easy answers on this one. Nobody does. If they say as much, don't believe it for a second.The best we can do is, well, our best. If we chip away at our issues a little bit this time around, when we meet them again on the next circuit, we'll only be that much better armed against them. Eventually, we'll get it right. I will offer a few tips to start from: The first place to look? I'd say your best bet is to look at your parents. Look at all the things you like the least about them. What are the habits that really make you cringe. The things you cannot stand. Now go get a mirror. Serioulsy. I told you this wasn't fun work right? Anyway, that's my first tip. Look at the stuff you don't like in others. The things that you would just DIE if you found inside yourself. They're probably the ones that are in there, at least in some form or another. Next tip? Face em down. Own them. The second you try to rationalize them away, blame them on someone else (even your parents) or take away one ounce of your own responsibility for them, you've lost. You must absolutley accept that your shadow is your own. You know why? Because if it's 100% your fault then it's also 100% in your power to fix it. If you pass the buck on ownership, you immediately thrust yourself into the victim role. Tip three: Take charge. If you got through tip two in one piece, then you know who's job it is to clean this house, right? You know who has the power to make the change too. It's you and only you, and YOU wouldn't have it any other way. Now, four and five go together, and you're going to like them a lot better. Trust me. Four: be gentle on yourself. Just becasue you own your shadow, doesn't mean you get to beat yourself up over it. No guilt. No shame. Instead, make a plan, act, take your power and put it to active, positive use. Five: take it slow. You can't expect miracles on the deepest work you'll ever do, right? Realistically, once you've identified your lovely gashes and emotional baggage, it's probably going to take several tries around the circuit to really clean them out of your life. Think of how many years its taken you to incorporate the thing into your life, and don't expect yourself to be 100% rid of it overnight. Keep trying, keep chipping, there's always the next time round. The good news is, it gets easier. The gread news is, once you've brought the shadow into the light, it has far less power. It can't shock you any longer, you have it's number. It can't sneak up on you. By owning it, you've robbed it of its sting. And the road ahead is that much clearer for it. Best of luck Namaste Neffis