Where to start...hm. well i know for a fact entities are comming to me through my dreams..this is not a pleasant experience. They stay with with me..i feel these entities on my back..i see them behind me. They make my sleep space uncomfortable to be in..no longer a safe feeling retreat for me.
Why are my dreams gateways and how can i protect myself in my sleep?
As im writing this im starting to sweat all over (random). But let me start from the begining. when i was about 14 or 15 or so my family joined a small native american tribe. we had medicine ceramonies and sweat lodges often i believe. During one ceramony it was discovered my family was having a lot of problems spiritually. My sister broke out with involuntary words and movements and my mother health slowly started to wane (she was losing a horrid amount of weight and was having back trouble in her late 30's). The medicine man tried to help us. This is when he told me entities were comming in through my dreams and giving me things and also about abilities i had. Being young i didnt quite understand and honestly didnt know what i could do about it..and i dont recall him ever telling me. This was also a bad time for me..i was depressed and angry most of the time and also smoking way to much pot (lol). This was the year i started seeing spirits and no most of them were not nice. They would follow me around and scare the shit out of me..say things and torment me...there were times when i was not able to breath even. i started seeing faces everywhere in everything..i couldnt get away from it. I was kicked down the stares once even. There were hords of these things (as least that was what i saw at the time) and i didnt tell anyone, i didn't know how. i blocked it out, tried telling myself i just smoked way to much and it wasn't there. i started feeling crazy. The medicine man tried helping my family but he never tried to help me. After a while i was kicked from the tribe ( i was friends with these two girls in the tribe and me and their family had a falling out big time) and i moved away from my mother to live with my father. I would still visit her often and was still constantly tormented and my mothers health still in pretty rough shape ( she was like hugging a bag of bones). And damnit the medicine man blamed me for it all. He said i was possessed and killing my mother. He forbid her from talking to me and said it was for my own good. He didnt do anything for me except make my family afraid of me..it was awful and i got no help whatsoever.
I am not in so rough of shape as i was then. my mother realized it was not right to stop talking to her daughter and i got over the worst of problems.But i still feel things that i dont want around me and feel thinggs comming in through my dreams. i feel drained and deppressed a lot of the time. I cant seem to shake these things!
Can anyone help me? i know i really need a teacher, someone in person who could help me..but online advice is a start.
do i sound like a madwomen in this? lol i hope not..this is all 100% truth (though the story is made 10 times shorter then it is). But thsnk you for taking your time to read this.