What I See

It has been a while since I've written a blog. I'm not entirely sure anyone will read this, but that hardly matters. If it were something I felt worthy of discussion, it'd be on the forums, ready for combustion. All the same, it's something that has been bothering me for a while, and has caused me to retreat more and more from PaganSpace.

I am a witch. This is fairly obvious to anyone that has known me for more than a day. I make no secret of the fact that I'm a hedge witch. Sometimes, I enjoy conversation with other witches. There are witches here, and elsewhere, that I respect enormously. They have greater skill, knowledge, and/or wisdom than myself. I realize, fully and completely, that to many of these people I am still a novice in my way. All the same, I am proud of how far I've come. I went from a feckless pseudo-wiccan wannabe asatruist with not a clue as to how things worked, to a fairly skilled hedge-walker. I studied and immersed myself in religion, only to come to the understanding that I have yet to discover my own religion. I study the cultures I come from specifically to find my religion, in its entirety. I constantly research how my ancestors worked their craft, regardless of religion (the two being separate to my eyes). I look at the things that remain in my family, disguised as tradition or superstition or "just the way we do it". I innovate. I create. And I observe.

Some of the things I observe bother me.

I see young witches that read this book or that website and try out a few things. I may disagree with technique, or history, or purview, and that's okay. I was there myself none too long ago. I'm not one to say where someone SHOULD go on their own path, or how things are meant to be. I have a strong faith that some of these witches will progress, grow, find for themselves what works and what doesn't. Critical thinking, logic, intuition, and experience will guide them as they guide me toward some kind of wisdom. Curiosity drives them. Responsibility shapes them. Experience files away the rough edges, until blade or diamond remain. This encourages me, makes me want to take an active part. It makes me want to share what has happened to me, what I have discovered, to help others reach beyond what I can accomplish.

There are others that discourage me, however. They dance, they shine their athame's, they buy every necklace in the place. They read a book on crystals and feel qualified to use crystals. They learn about a few herbs, and are suddenly qualified to practice herbal medicine. They say that "it's this spirit" or "it's this demon", without asking questions. Without finding out about culture, environment, situation, other concerns. They reach a point of pseudo knowledge and stop, comfortable in its trappings. They listen to a woman cry about her cheating husband, earnestly, and with equal earnestness say "here, drink some Jasmine Tea, it will make your problems go away". They read that there is magic in the tea, in the herb, in the crystal, in the act, but they don't understand what that means. They dance in circles, drunk on self-empowerment, never realising the stagnation they surround themselves with, or the stumbling sight they produce.

How many of them have wondered why there are so many spirits from so many different cultures here? How many have studied the actual medicinal value of herbs, how each herb effects the body, particularly when used synergistically? How many have looked at stones, rocks, gems, crystals, and wondered why so many different cultures have different views on their use? How many have innovated new methods of doing things, simply because modern problems derived from modern personalities demand modern techniques?

I could state my answer to these things. I could say there are so many spirits because we brought our cultures with us. Because, like rats and fleas, we brought spirits from our given regions with us. I could say that as a culture grows, the spirits adapt, become more prevalent. I could say you'll find the Fair Folk in a particular grove because people whom thrive within a culture that recognized them as real have immersed that area in their beliefs. I can tell you that there is no sovereign specific, no one way to deal with all entities, and that it's important to know what is happening, who is doing it, and why, before trying to "fix the problem". I could say that witches look deeper, witches walk the edge, and witches think more than retaliate.

Yet I know that a majority will disagree, or call me conceited, or find excuse. I know a large chunk will already know, and find my assertions useless. I know a very small percentage will agree, and gain from it, but that they will find this out anyway.

I don't reply on the forums. I sit back, I watch, I listen, I look for the patterns and wonder why people aren't asking questions before offering advice or passing judgement. I work my little area, I help those I can, I listen to those that need me to listen. I teach those that can learn what I have to offer, and I learn from those that have the patience to teach me. I write a blog like this, which is very likely to be misunderstood, because I have flaws all my own. I can't find the words to express what I see. I have prejudices and conceits that make it even more difficult to impart a perceived truth. In all of it, I still look for the gleam of hope, and I wade through the depths of crap.

I'm not entirely sure what the point of this blog was, other than to vent. Such is typically why I write blogs, because I'm irritable or sad and need an outlet for the things I can't discuss, expound upon, or clearly dictate. In this I hope I'm forgiven. In all else, I hope I continue to strive.

That's all I can do.