Merry meet everyone. I am at a loss and just trying to find some guidance. May 20 I lost my fiancé. I am just so lost and don’t know what to do or how to move forward. I know it has not been two months yet, but I don’t know what to do with myself. I’m trying to see if there is anyone here who has any experience, advice, etc. blessed be.

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Hi Melissa, I am sorry for your loss. How long were you two together? I ask this because therapists claim that however long you knew someone, it will take half that length of time to get over their loss. (that should give you some idea of the time-scale needed for healing)

I would advise you to keep busy, so you don't dwell on it. Other than that just give it time. The first 12 months are the hardest as you experience the first birthdays, anniversaries, public holidays etc after your loss. But you WILL come through this in time. *Hugs*

We were together almost 8.5 years. We had finally started to plan our wedding and were trying for a family. He told me many times if we couldn’t be together he wanted me to find someone to have the family we wanted. It just feels impossible to do it with another person.

I don't know what I'd do if I lost my spouse. There is really nothing that anyone can say that will make this issue any better; only time will help; for now, just do what you feel like doing in order to feel better; don't stress about having a family.

Hi Melissa
I am so sorry for your loss, I too lost my husband almost 2 years ago, it was sudden, he died on his forklift at work from a heart attack, I couldn't eat, sleep or function, we were together for 10 years, the pain is unbearable, I don't remember much the first few months I was just existing and I wanted to die, it has almost been 2 years next month, a year after I met a wonderful man and we plan to be married, but my love for Joe will always be there, it will always be with you, but it will get better and I can actually say I know what your going through, crying everyday,your probably starting to eat again, you go to bed every night hoping he will visit you in your dreams, you wonder everyday if he is missing you where he is, people who haven't been through it don't understand, they don't know what to say so they keep a distance, this will also let you know who your true friends are, every situation is different, it took me about 7 months to smile and stop hating people for being happy, my Joe will always be in my heart and his love taught me to love again, my fiance put up a shelf for my Joe's ashes and I believe he sent this man to me, I am so sorry for your loss, I am not moving on I am moving forward,and you will do the same as well on your time and when you are ready

You will always miss your partner and you can take solace in that your partner is in Caer Sidi a place of souls which Arianrhod takes there on her ship the Oar Wheel to reincarnate after eighty years of blissful forgetfulness. You will both meet again one day as death is not the end just a new beginning of life and experiences.

As you're a daughter of the goddess in my pantheon of the Idaean Gaia/Aphrodite, you can commune with Aphrodite by inviting her love into your heart, and in meditation/prayer, you then focus on this area which is prominently surrounded by your breasts, and you can feel the goddess within you. Listen to what she has to tell you. What is she saying to you about your partner and the relationship you had and how you feel now? Meditate on this, and see where your thoughts they take you. You may be comforted, surprised or shocked by what she has to tells you. But they will be earnest, and closer to how you truly feel and will give you the direction you're looking for to move forward.

Melissa,  I just saw this post.  First, I am so very sorry to read your message.  Loss is so difficult.  The memories, lost dreams, hopes, and now insecurity, confusion, anger and the deep and broad question WHY?

I want you to know that I lost my wife and my daughter a few years ago - not to death but to divorce.  Divorce is actually worse than death because the person still lives and the rejection is constant versus death which is final

I would offer to focus on all that was positive and good.  How did your fiancé improve you, and challenge you?

How did you change as a result of that person being in your life?   Allow that to be a daily reminder of how you can honor their investment in you.

Will you share your thoughts, please?

I know how you feel. I lost mine in 2010. Took me years to move forward, but I did it and so can you. It's ok to cry, yell and blame the world. It's part of the grieving process. You will always remember and love your loved one. The pain will ease. Just give yourself time to grieve. Keep friends and family close, let them know you're going to be ok but you need them to help, even if it's just to listen. Let them know you might repeat yourself and cry but you'll be ok. Because you will be. You are strong, intelligent person. You can and will be ok. HUGS

Time Heals


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