Follow your heart. Do what you feel drawn to do. This is about you, make your own path.
Yes, listen and learn from others, books, internet, and interaction, but ultimately it is going to be your own experiences that guide you along the way.
Looks like you're already on the right path.
Many of us start in the middle, having been drawn to paganism early, only to be diverted by parents/well meaning family/loved ones to Christianity, only to go back to our earliest calling later in life.
Yes, it does feel like a homecoming. It felt like the weight of the world was off my shoulders, and instead of always feeling inadequate and inferior and fearful. Now I only now felt joy and eager anticipation of learning in my original path.
Your SO can teach you better how to ground and center yourself so you can be more open to what messages that are out there for you. Your third eye pressure is definitely trying to tell you something.
'how do I meditate to become grounded and centered.'
My website suggests how this can be achieved, from a Goddess perspective. When you speak of loving god you sound like a priestess of the Idaeans.
Here is the link
The Idaeans are what I call the Minoans a bronze age people who lived on the Island of Crete.
They would worship on the mountain Ida now called Psiloritis on Crete named after King Minos who wasn’t a king but an underworld judge. There has in fact been a total absence of kings or chieftains on this island during the Bronze Age.