So, I will soon be heading down to Sacramento. In three weeks time, to be precise, but in two weeks to sign the paperwork. And there is so, so much to do still. And the anxiety is starting to set in. It doesn't help that my mother can make her own emotions exponentially larger than they first start; I have no good way to block them out, I can only hope to wind down and forget them later.
But I am worried.
Worried that my mother's own stress will cause her to die of a heart attack, or cause some other psychosomatic illness. Worried that I will have troubles in employment. Worried that I won't have enough time for everything, or everyone. Or that all my hard work will fall through. Or that I'll be laughable at the university, or that my cats will fall ill or die from complications of parasites, that I might still have parasites, that I won't be able to receive any sort of healthcare, that my friend won't be able to take any of the other cats, that I won't be able to pay my boyfriend's dad back, that all my classes will be full, and everything else. There. I got it out. I will do my best to make sure NONE of my fears come true.