It's funny how a week can change everything. As of June 21 my unofficial
boyfriend (unofficial because he wasn't ready for a relationship and still lives
with his psycho ex girlfriend), John, and I were fine and looking forward to him
getting back. Then I didn't hear from him for over a week until I saw him online
on Facebook today and IMed him...and found out why I hadn't heard from him in
over a week...

It's because he managed to be ready for a relationship and
meet someone he "clicked" with in Atlanta in under 2 weeks. Yes folks, you read
that right, in under 14 days he went from "I'll ask you out for real when I'm
ready" and "I could fall for you" to "we can be friends if it's not weird". The
kicker is that, before he left, I told him it was okay with me if he slept with
someone else and he assured me that he "doesn't want to, I'm not looking for
anyone else".

So yeah, we were effectively in an unofficial relationship
for what would've been 6 months on July 14...and what further gets me is that
according to what I thought of him and everyone else's reassurances that this
sort of thing would be entirely out of character...it's true. He was avoiding me
because he replaced me. So not only did I not remotely see this coming, I guess
he just led me on for all that time and I was none the wiser. He also made the
point that while we were sleeping together he didn't sleep with anyone else and
he "didn't make me sleep with Dan"....which was further cute because he knows
how sleeping with Dan messed me up and that I regret doing so in the first place
and only went there because John, at the time, was being really wishy
washy.

So yeah, I feel like shit...and I feel like I was used for months
and wanted a future with someone and damn near fell in love with someone who had
no intention of keeping any promises he gave me or even upholding any plans we
had...but I won't be shocked if, like my ex, he still tries to sleep with me.
I'll keep you all posted. Part of me expects him to say "April Fools" in almost
July...but the rest of me knows he's not kidding and just hurts. He says it's
"not personal" but it sure doesn't feel that way.

I want to be mad...but
it just sucks.

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